asscreedkinkmeme ([personal profile] asscreedkinkmeme) wrote2013-05-13 07:24 pm
Entry tags:

Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 6

Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.6
Open


Sky World

≈ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

≈ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

≈ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

≈ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

≈ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

≈ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

≈ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
Kink Meme Masterlist
New Kink Meme Masterlist
(Livejorunal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
#2 (Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive
#3 (Delicious.com) Archive <-- Currently active
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Fills Only
Discussion

Maestro Ezio

(Anonymous) 2014-07-06 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I love how Revelations!Ezio is so laid back, but at any second he feels like he could put someone in their place. I would like this to be Ezio/Altair (Solomon's Temple time-ish, so he's even more deserving of being put in his place!) or Ezio/Arrogant!Novice.

So! Ezio is doing whatever, then Altair/Novice makes some kind of remark or something that makes Ezio decide to show them why he's Maestro.

Bonus brownie points for:
Ezio is rather rough with Altair/Novice, biting, shoving them, pinning them down +50
Ezio makes them beg +100
Altair/Novice is a screamer and they can't help but be loud +200
After the first round, Ezio states that they aren't done yet + My soul!

Connor's Kids

(Anonymous) 2014-07-07 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
Connor said at one point in the game (during one of the homestead missions I believe) that he didn't want to marry anyone until he could give them the attention they deserved (a.k.a he didn't have to be an assassin anymore), so OP has always had the headcanon that Connor's child came from an unwilling union as, let’s face it, Connor was probably an assassin for the majority of his life.

So OP would love a fic where despite the horrible circumstances of how he came to have the child he loves them with all his heart and raises them to be absolutely spoiled with love (especially when they're babies).

As for the horrible circumstances, a lot of people share my headcanon that Connor is asexual, so maybe he forces himself to have sex because he feels it's his duty to have children? Or someone manages to force themselves onto him (maybe he accepts drinks at a tavern to be polite and then gets drunk enough to be taken advantage of) and then they dump the child on him when it's born? If this route is taken please only make light references to it as OP wants the fic to center around Connor falling in love with the baby as soon as he sees it.

Thanks for reading!

Re: Connor's Kids

(Anonymous) 2014-07-07 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
As soon as I finish my female!Haytham fill I swear on my life this will be filled. By me, I mean.

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Fill: Snow-Swept Child 1/?

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AltCon- Habibi

(Anonymous) 2014-07-07 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
OP doesn't know about all of you, but a fic that has Altaïr calling someone his "habibi" is a beautiful fic indeed.
Since AltCon doesn't seem to be a popular pairing (but it's one of OP's favorites), OP would like to see a fic where Altaïr calls Connor his "habibi" all the time because he's hoping that Connor will get it eventually but as we all know Connor is an oblivious dork and it totally goes over his head until someone (doesn't matter who as this is kinda crack anyway) tells him and Connor is simultaneously flustered/flattered and he tries to tell Altaïr he feels the same way while he's a stuttering mess.

Anon can choose if it ends up being smut or just fluff, but everything must be consensual!

Thanks for reading!

Ezio/Leonardo, misunderstandings and broken hearts

(Anonymous) 2014-07-08 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
It's been a year since the death of Silvio Babarigo, and Venice is flourishing without the Templars. Antonio and his gang decide to throw a party for Ezio - the one responsible for this era of peace - and shanghai Leonardo into helping with the preparations.

Lo and behold, who but Ezio chooses that day to knock on the bottega door? And Leonardo has to pretend nothing is off, bad liar that he is, and deny the assassin entry.

Ezio is extremely confused by not being allowed into the workshop for the first time in forever, despite having a codex page and not merely showing up for canoodling. Which is then followed by heartbreak when he worries that Leonardo's bad excuse was due to the artist having a new lover visiting ("Am I that poor a lover..?") or, worse, having had a visit from the guards unhappy with his continued cooperation with the assassins.

Meanwhile, the preparations for the party continues, and now Leonardo has to keep Ezio from visiting due to the thieves practically moving in. And Ezio starts to think that Leonardo truly has fallen out of love with him.

Re: Ezio/Leonardo, misunderstandings and broken hearts

(Anonymous) 2014-08-02 02:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Seconded so hard omfg. I love misunderstanding fics.

Surprise

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[Any/Any] Crazy random dialogue prompt

(Anonymous) 2014-07-08 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"I cannot believe you actually thought that was a good idea."
"Have I mentioned that I'm really, really, really sorry? Like, really and truly? And I swear, I thought you would enjoy it! The people on the internet said..."
"The people on the internet are idiots who have probably never had or seen real sex in their lives."
"... Want some chocolate?"
"Screw you this goes beyond apology-chocolate, and I didn't even think that was possible. And from now on, stay the hell away from my nipples."
"Aaaaw!" Q^Q

[Fill] The Internet Said, Shaun/Desmond

(Anonymous) 2014-07-20 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
"I cannot believe you actually thought that was a good idea," Shaun eventually says for lack of anything better to say. Anything that isn't a blistering wall of pain and threats that got old after the first thirty minutes of him kicking Desmond off of him. He hisses as the small icepack touches his skin. The iciness is both a relief and an agony that's almost worse than the pain itself. Almost.

"Have I mentioned that I'm really, really, really sorry?" Desmond does look very pathetic and regretful. It does very little to easy the absolute fire of pain Shaun's feeling. Especially not with the way the lying bastard's lips keep wanting to quirk up into a smirk as he watches Shaun. "Like, really and truly? And I swear, I thought you would enjoy it! The people on the internet said-"

"The people on the internet are idiots who have probably never had or seen real sex in their lives!" Shaun snaps back, cutting that idiotic excuse off fast. Going to the internet for any sort of answer is beyond stupid for someone like Desmond who as admitted to not knowing much about using it. The only way to get something right from it is to post the wrong answer somewhere, and even then you have to wade through an astonishing amount of stupidity to get the truth.

Desmond has the good grace to grimace and nod in agreement over his idiocy. He shifts on the bed and looks around the room uneasily. Shaun takes pleasure in his discomfort and keeps his glare up as the dumbass fidgets with his battered bag a bit. He eventually comes up with a crumbled square of foil which he holds out like a peace offering. "-want some chocolate?"

"Screw you this goes beyond apology-chocolate, and I didn't even think that was possible!" Shaun doesn't exactly smack the candy away from Desmond, chocolate is a luxury commodity that the girls don't indulge in when they go for supply runs, and he's not going to risk making it inedible. His sweet tooth won't allow him to do that in good conscience. "And from now on, stay the hell away from my nipples."

"Aaaaw!" Desmond pulls an exaggerated pout, and Shaun uses his free hand to snatch the square of chocolate away before kicking him off the edge of the bed. The jolt sends a bit of pain through him but it's worth it to hear the yelp when Desmond crashes to the concrete floor.

Ezio and the bullshitting Leonardo

(Anonymous) 2014-07-09 09:13 am (UTC)(link)
Ezio trusts everything Leonardo says. Leonardo abuses this to sometimes feed him complete bullshit for the lulz.

Re: Ezio and the bullshitting Leonardo

(Anonymous) 2014-09-09 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Leonardo sounds so much like my sister it's kind of sad how it's been more than a decade and I still can't tell when she's lying. Seconded!

Dreams... from a very odd place

(Anonymous) 2014-07-10 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
I've been having some pretty cracky dreams lately about Assassin's Creed. I'd like to see some of the crack Asscreed dreams you all have. Stories about them are very welcome, but simple descriptions would also be just fine!

Re: Dreams... from a very odd place

(Anonymous) 2014-07-10 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
Oh gawrsh... I've definitely had some strange AC dreams. I remember one of them was a crossover between Uta no Prince-sama and AC.

Don't know what Uta no Prince-sama is? Here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtd4fXT2fNM

It was colorful... to say the least, hehehehehee

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Assassin's Song

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Any/Any, Protagonist Messes Up

(Anonymous) 2014-07-10 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, so as the 100% goals have shown us, all the ancestors didn't just never fudge up their missions, they also made veritable art shows out of them, walking backwards and blindfolded through them for the sheer fricking joy of the challenge of it. However, there has to be that one time, right? That one time that the tile slipped under Altair's shoe and he landed on his arse right in front of the target, that one time Adéwalé had to fish Edward out of the sea because the Captain got almost killed by lookout snipers as he tried to sneakily swim to an island, and so on.

Basically, any of the playable protagonists making a really dumb mistake and having to scramble in that amazingly ungraceful and panicky way that you do when your whole beautiful mission plan suddenly sinks in a sea of high alert guards and chaos. Maybe with some dressing of the wounds (and wounded pride) by love interest afterwards?

Re: Any/Any, Protagonist Messes Up

(Anonymous) 2014-07-10 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
You are a beautiful human being with a beautiful mind. Seconded for Altaïr falling on his ass. XD

I need your love, anons

(Anonymous) 2014-07-11 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
Everybody says we're the worst for songfics! Except, where are they? Let's keep up our rep! I've been listening to I need your love by Ellie Goulding and Calvin Harris. Any/any, really, just something based off this song!

Re: I need your love, anons

(Anonymous) 2014-07-11 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
I can see this working with Desmond and Lucy. Mostly because of the electronic and modern element in it, heh.

Re: I need your love, anons

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Selective participation

(Anonymous) 2014-07-12 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
Why is it that some days we get like 30 comments, while on others we get none? We got, what, 3 comments today? Obviously, this calls for a prompt!

One of our Assassins just has those days. One day they're out creating tasteful art on the streets with dead bodies and various murder tools, while others they just sit there, wondering about life and coming up with hidden blade-oriented dick jokes and pickup lines. And their sidekick gets partially concerned while said dick jokes are being lethargically tried out on them. I honestly would get the biggest kick out of this were it Leo and Ezio, or Edward and Adé.

Re: Selective participation

(Anonymous) 2014-07-13 08:30 am (UTC)(link)
My soul to whoever fills this prompt!

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Cockgobbling Thundercunt

(Anonymous) 2014-07-12 08:52 am (UTC)(link)
Screwing around on Reddit led me to one of the funniest threads I think I've ever read. It consisted of variations of "Thundercunt". Then I stumbled across "Cockgobbling Thundercunt" and turkey comments ensued. My immediate reaction was "Assassin Turkey!"
I'm a sucker for genderbends so can I have some lady!Connor doing some "Cockgobbling" to a lucky lad of your choice? Not really a big fan of ConHayth, but I don't have anything against it! I'd also be more than satisfied with a little "What the actual fuck" and then "Oh god don't stop" on the lucky lad's part.
One quick question, though. Would this be considered crack?

TL;DR- PWP (or not, don't mind either way) of Lady-Connor making turkey noises while she sucks someone's cock.

Debauched

(Anonymous) 2014-07-13 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
All I'd like is for Desmond to get fucked HARD. Completely debauched. Can't even form words.

Preferably by either Altair, Ezio, or Shaun. Or a combo of the two. Or all three. Don't care. As long as he's fucked stupid.

Bonus if he's such a screamer that everyone else can hear him and they get a little turned on.

Re: Debauched

(Anonymous) 2014-08-03 11:29 am (UTC)(link)
Mmmmmm seconded!!

(Anonymous) 2014-07-13 08:57 am (UTC)(link)
Since the anons have been dead for two days straight, let's add some semen to the mix to "Bring the anons out of the woodwork", like on page 20.
Big shipper of Ezio/Leo, so I'll take them over anything else. But, when they get fricky, all the fics I've ever read are blushy and awkward and "Oops, not enough lube" or "Pardon while I get out of the headlock you accidentally put me in", so I loves me some awkward Ezio/Leo smut. Add some temporary after effects of Ezio's Apple shenanigans including some major balls to bust and a kinky power!bottom Leonardo and you've got yourself a perfect fic. Or at least, a perfect fic in my opinion. After this has been filled, we can work out the distribution of souls/first borns.

Adewale/Edward Kenway, jealous sex

(Anonymous) 2014-07-13 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Ade and Edward have started sharing a bed on the ship, but they'll be on shore soon enough where there's plenty of women. Ade should be happy to swap Edward out for a prostitute and watch as Edward does the same. Problem is, this is more to Ade than just a distraction, but Edward seems pretty flighty and probably prefers women anyway. Before they arrive at the port, Ade uses his last chance to fuck his captain - the more laced with hidden jealousy/anger the better.

(Bonus if Edward never planned on stopping in the first place, so Ade worried for nothing.)

Re: Adewale/Edward Kenway, jealous sex

(Anonymous) 2014-07-14 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, yes, please! There isn't enough of bottom Edward around! (and I ain't talking about pegging).

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Hatoful Boyfriend

(Anonymous) 2014-07-16 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
..... Hatoful Assassins? Please?

(And yes... it IS a dating sim.... with pidgeons)

Re: Hatoful Boyfriend

(Anonymous) 2014-07-16 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
They would definitely have to be eagles and hawks. No questions asked.

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Respect for the most fabulous Assassin

(Anonymous) 2014-07-16 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
Because my life is useless and boring in the summer without schoolwork to do, I tend to do stupid things. My parents left me alone for the week, so I have done some VERY stupid things. Third day in, I'm playing Assassin's Creed and lounging around in Malik's bureau, then I got the brilliant idea to go the day without using my left arm. Tied it behind my back and put on my mom's black bathrobe for extra effect.
To Malik, and all other amputees, you have my utmost respect and adoration. I never knew how hard making pizza rolls, pouring juice, and using the toilet were with one arm.
Let's have some Malik being a total one armed badass, as usual. I don't care if he's kicking butt and taking names, writing WORDS ON PAPER JESUS IT'S HARD, or throwing things at arrogant novices. I just want some respect for the Dai of Jerusalem.

Walking in the Dai's shoes [1/1]

(Anonymous) 2014-07-24 07:41 am (UTC)(link)
(This is my first time filling so I'm a little nervous. I saw this fill and I just love Malmal so I just had to. I stayed up all night on my birthday to finish this, I hope you like it!)

//Walking in the Dai's shoes\\

"Are you serious?" Malik gave Altaïr his best unimpressed face, trying his damnedest to convey how absolutely stupid he thought this situation was.

"Yes." Altaïr answered simply
.
Malik simply watched as Altaïr continued to shift in his robes. He wriggled his left arm into his uniform and folded it across his stomach in a comfortable position. Then he used his free hand to pin the sleeve up like what Malik did with his own robes. When he was done Altaïr nodded firmly at his work.

"There. Now I'll walk in your shoes for a day."

"You are an idiot, novice." Malik shook his head. "How do you plan on getting anything done?"

"You manage it, I'm sure I can too." Altaïr said arrogantly.

Malik snorted at his attitude. "I manage it because I have had many months of practice."

"And still move with the grace of a master." Altaïr added.

Malik rolled his eyes at the unnecessary flattery.

"So what do you plan on doing all day? I admit it would be amusing to watch you stumble around and try to fight guards one handed, but your death would be a terrible waste."

"I will stay here and help you." Altaïr declared.

Malik had to resist the very powerful urge to punch Altaïr in the face. It was bad enough dealing with the novice on the occasions he dropped by the bureau for missions, but an entire day? For no valid reason? Malik would either be insane or homicidal by sunset.

"No, you will not." the rafiq ordered firmly. "I don't need you bumbling about here like a blind imbecile."

"I will just be here to help." the younger man assured him.

The Dai sighed and rubbed his face with his remaining hand. Nothing was more frustrating or pointless as speaking to this idiot.

"Fine." Malik relented in a growl. "But you will do as I say and stay out of my way, got it, novice?"

Altaïr nodded sharply. However rare it was for the master assassin to be so compliant Malik didn't appreciate it much since it was at his own expense.

Malik set his new worker to the taste of sweeping to begin with. It was rather amusing to watch the fool attempt to use the broom with one hand. He had very little coordination and was mostly just shuffling the dirt around, unable to make an actual pile of it. As he watched, Malik tried to keep the pleased smirk off his face but he suspected he was failing because whenever Altaïr looked up from his frustrating task he frowned at Malik's expression.

"Having trouble?" Malik called in absolute glee. He let the smirk show loud and proud now, propping his chin up on his fist.

"None." Altaïr gritted out stubbornly.

After the grueling task of sweeping was (relatively) complete, Malik had Altaïr make his bed in the back room. He wasn't able to watch first hand on the pretense that he still had work to do and could not help the novice with everything, but he could hear loud frustrated growls and several thumps that sounded suspiciously like a fist hitting wood.

After that it was water the plants, feed the pigeons, clean the pigeon roost, organize the books, dust the bureau, open and close the lattice when the bells rang, and help tend to assassins who dropped in for various mission. (All of which were amused to see the great eagle of Masyaf scurrying about completing tasks like a novice with one arm stuffed in his robes.)

Malik hadn't thought he would enjoy this exercise as much as he did. It was surprisingly entertaining to watch Altaïr attempt to do things (simple things at that) with one arm. If he really thought about it Malik supposed it was much like how he himself looked after the amputation, but he quickly shoved that thought aside.

It was gratifying to watch Altaïr run about the bureau carrying out whatever job Malik deemed necessary for completion by him without complaint. Granted most of those jobs were done poorly or never finished. The usually so obstinate master assassin didn't release a peep against these menial tasks and did them to the best of his newly limited abilities. Malik had to wonder why Altaïr had decided to do this in the first place.

It was a while after lunch, which Altaïr had prepared crudely, that Malik came to the conclusion that they would have to go into the market to buy more ink, parchment, and rice. Altaïr instantly volunteered to go, but Malik insisted he come along so Altaïr didn't buy the wrong thing or for too high a price.

The rafiq and assassin walked side by side through the crowds of Jerusalem, both bearing one arm. To Malik's great surprise, Altaïr had not let out his arm for the trip, showing Malik his commitment to this challenge.

They entered the market square and Malik made Altaïr hold the basket while he shopped. It took a full hour to haggle the necessary items at reasonable prices and the two started back to the bureau.

"Is having one arm as hard as you thought?" Malik asked as they walked.

"No, not quite." Altaïr said evenly.

Malik leveled a narrowed eyed look at him. "Is that so."

"I admit it's a challenge and would take me a time to adjust, but it could be done"

"Hmph."

A sharp shout from behind had both men's assassin instincts screaming at them and they spun around to face the source. A guard was pointing an accusing finger at the pair, or rather Altaïr, Malik noticed.

"Assassin!"

"Shit." Malik cursed.

It didn't take long for the two to be back to back and surrounded by guards.

"I don't know how but this is your fault." the Dai hissed as he drew his sword.

Altaïr leveled his own sword at the swarming guards.

"I had nothing to do with this." he snapped back.

Malik almost wanted to laugh because Altaïr ALWAYS had something to do with it, but a guard was rushing at him so he had to concentrate on blocking.

Citizens screamed and scattered around them as steel clashed between guard and assassin. Malik moved gracefully, careful and calculated with his movements and almost every strike assured death to its receiver. He had long since adjusted to having once arm and was able to place his balance and movements accordingly. Behind him, he could hear Altaïr having significantly more trouble, judging by his labored breathing and near constant cursing.

When Malik turned to see if he needed help he saw that Altaïr was on his knees, his weapon skittering away, and the enemy's blade coming for his throat. Malik swept forward and redirected the sword to the ground. He kicked the offending guard squarely in the chest and while he was stumbling back Malik ran him through, ending the opposition.

With the fight over Malik turned on Altaïr who was now standing.

"I have words for you when we return to the bureau." he vowed.

Malik retrieved the basket that had been dropped, luckily nothing within damaged, and started off again. Altaïr was quick at his side and the two traversed the remaining distance to the bureau swiftly and discreetly.

Once there Malik closed the lattice and turned on Altaïr, sharp words ready on his tongue, but the stupid novice beat him to it.

"That was...impressive." he breathed. Altaïr held an expression of amazement and wonder, staring at Malik like he was an angel.

Malik took a step back, completely caught of guard.

"WHAT?"

"I have a new appreciation for your ability with one arm."

It took a second for those words to sink in. When they did Malik smirked and straightened his back, pride weaseling into his chest.

"As well you should. Now you still have work to do, novice." Malik spoke with authority and Altaïr didn't argue. He just silently took the basket from Malik and was off to work.

Malik went back behind his counter and stared at the map he'd been working on before they had left. Slowly, a small smile spread on his lips. He decided he rather liked this experiment of Altaïr's. It was about time the novice learned just how difficult it was to live with one arm.

Re: Walking in the Dai's shoes [1/1]

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-24 07:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Walking in the Dai's shoes [1/1]

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-24 15:59 (UTC) - Expand

rage

(Anonymous) 2014-07-16 10:38 am (UTC)(link)
So, this anon had a packet of Belgian chocolate chip cookies she was planning on polishing off today. Except she can't. Because her nana has just admitted to eating the remainder of the packet she was planning on eating.
AND IS UNSYMPATHETIC AND NOT AS APOLOGETIC AS SHE SHOULD BE.
so, basically, this anon is. Pissed. Off.

So here is the prompt.

Person of your choice messes with something assassin of your choice covets/and or was extremely protective over. Cue rage. And death stares. And murder attempts.
Maybe Malik messes with Altair's flag collection, or Shaun eats Desmond's favourite snack while he's in the animus.

I need rage. Give me rage. I'll give any filler my first born, you wouldn't want my soul right now, its tainted with darkness.

Re: rage

(Anonymous) 2014-07-16 02:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel your pain, anon. I still remember my father eating my CLEARLY MARKED, EXPENSIVE gluten-free bread instead of the other bread WHICH I CANNOT EAT and his response was "you can still make yourself something to eat" and indicated the gluten-bread. So pissed off that I didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.

Seconding.

Re: rage

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Re: rage

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Fill: Rage

(Anonymous) - 2015-05-11 09:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Rage

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(Anonymous) 2014-07-18 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
Can we have one character saying some really intense words, and nobody understands what the hell they're saying? Then, they figure it out and use said revelation to their advantage and fuck with people.
OP herself often does this because she uses words like tautology, indubitably, and krukolibidinous on a regular basis. I can see this being the most humorous with Malik, but Leo and Shaun would work well too.

Connor Renovates the Homestead - and people love to watch

(Anonymous) 2014-07-18 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
So, Connor ends up buying all these materials for a failing manor. It needs to be renovated, refitted, fixed up, probably painted, etc. Now, over the years these things could whittle down - maybe Connor likes to re-do and fix some things up as a favour to Achilles. Maybe there was a storm and it screwed up some windows and parts of the roof or columns or something.

Either way, Connor's fixing up/renovating the manor and maybe offers to help with parts of the entire homestead - and he's doing it shirtless.

Everyone on the homestead - and I mean EVERYONE, especially Dr. White and Ellen - loves to watch him work. Cue people making excuses to bring Connor something to drink or ask him to do something for their homes.

Re: Connor Renovates the Homestead - and people love to watch

(Anonymous) 2014-07-19 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
I just imagine people lined up on a fence post while he climbs up and down from a roof with shingles. Just gaping and staring at the way his muscles move under his skin, the way he shines with a fine layer of sweat as he hammers nails in, and then my mind goes blank and I mentally join the crowd at the fence. We all sigh in appreciation when he bends down to pick up another bunch of shingles.

Is this a f***cking crack language kink?

(Anonymous) 2014-07-19 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Reading up on Charles Lee for that fem!connor/lee prompt back in part 5, when I discovered something new about good ol' Charlie.
He had the dirtiest mouth in the revolution. Every other word out of his goddamned mustachioed trap was a cuss. Entire sentences of his were just curse words strung together.
Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating.
But, he was spanking-worthy with that foul mouth of his. I just want Charles coming up with creatively colorful curses. Don't care if it's while he's hiding in the bushes with (a very confused and possibly disturbed) Thomas and watching Haytham and Ziio get their freak on, if a horse decided his foot was a rat that must be stomped, or if he just plain stubbed his toe. Hell, maybe his little rat-dog Spado does something cute and Charlie can only describe his happiness with
"fuck fuck fuckety douchecanoeing ball sucking dick bastard!"
Don't care. Just make it funny and half way to crackville.

Captcha is feeling dirty today. "The white jelly is what color?"

Repost- Alt/Mal- teenage attraction

(Anonymous) 2014-07-19 09:17 am (UTC)(link)
Really, I know I shouldn't repost things from part 6, but I loved this prompt so much, and I know it's not gonna get any action back on page 18, and the comment below it bashing gender swap prompts probably didn't help it any at all.

Can this anon pretty pretty please have some fem!Altaïr/regular!Malik? I would rather it take place before the incident at Solomon's Temple, but you can use whatever time you wish. It can be either Malik having feelings for fem!Altaïr, vice versa, or both, doesn't matter to me. I would also like a little jealous!Kadar (If before Solomon's Temple). (And maybe frustrated!Malik or frustrated!Altaïr if it's one sided. {Or if they like each other but have no clue so cue hilarity}) I would rather no smut, just kissing, but I'm sure I'll still love it even if it's smut. (Oh god period!Altaïr must be terrifying HINT HINT)

Re: Repost- Alt/Mal- teenage attraction

(Anonymous) 2014-07-21 08:19 am (UTC)(link)
Why do people feel the need to bash kinks? I thought we were troll and hate free here, man. Anyways, I freaking love this prompt. Someone please fill it!

OP is ridiculously happy.

(Anonymous) 2014-07-19 05:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I- You- Nnngghh

I can't -mind blown-

I love you.

I shall forever be in my bunk. Take my soul, take all the goddamn points, take these cookies, and my first born and whatever else you fucking please. Take all of it you heaven sent anon!

Re: OP is ridiculously happy.

(Anonymous) 2014-07-19 06:00 pm (UTC)(link)
WOOPS MISFIRE DON'T MIND ME PLEASE. I'm just gonna.... heh... sneak away now....

Misfire Fill

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Misfire!OP

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The thieves and the Leonardo

(Anonymous) 2014-07-20 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Are... Are prompts inspired by fills allowed? If so, there's a fill on page 22 of Leonardo being hot. And there's one line in particular:


"Leonardo knew only too well how hard it was to fall asleep again with adrenalin pounding through your veins (counting Antonio and his thieves as friends meant that many a night in Venice had been disturbed by people tapping on Leonardo's bedroom window at two in the morning and kindly ask if he could pretty please take four thieves, a set of perfectly legitimately obtained silver tableware, two ladies' ornate hats that had been hung out to dry and seemed to have placed themselves on a thief's head, and a confused chicken that had obviously been sleepwalking, really, Leonardo, think of the poor chicken, and hide them all from the guards that would be coming around the corner in, oh, about ten seconds?)."

I wanna see a story based on that. With the thieves getting Leonardo into trouble. And bringing chickens.

Re: The thieves and the Leonardo

(Anonymous) 2014-07-21 08:18 am (UTC)(link)
Absolutely allowed, anon! And this sounds very interesting, so very much that I'll second.

How much crack can a crack-fan write if a crack-fan could write crack?

(Anonymous) 2014-07-20 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Do not ask why. I cannot explain the why of this.

Miss Jane Marple is Shaun's ancestor. Not his direct ancestor obviously, but maybe Raymond is his grandpa. Anyway, I'd like to see something about this. Either Shaun reminiscing about stories of his dear old Aunt Jane, reliving some memory of Raymond's when he steals into the Animus one night, or maybe Aunt Jane is older than anyone thinks due to the influence of the Apple and is still around knitting sweater vests for him to wear. Tsking all the while about those silly Assassin and Templars. It's all so very predictable, you see, no matter where or when people are they always act the same.

My soul for this to be written. I'll throw in a baker's dozen of other people's souls if there's some Shaun/Des attraction implications and Miss Marple vaguely hints around to Des about getting over himself and doing something about it.

REPOST- Claudia/Cesare hatesex

(Anonymous) 2014-07-21 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
Been revisiting Ezio and the older memes. Gotta love hate sex, mate.

Anon wants to see some Claudia/Cesare hate sex. Basically, Cesare visits the Rosa in Forli (spelling?) while Claudia was working there during Brotherhood. He propositions Claudia and she is forced to accept or fear his wrath. Would be nice to see a long, smutty scene with the two.