Original Prompt: There's no way that being an assassin can be good for your mental health, whether it's because they believe they are damned, or never clean again, maybe phobias, etc. I would love to see one of our dear assassins having to deal with all that. I would prefer Desmond, but Ezio or Altair is good too. No pairings, just by themselves, trying to deal. (http://forkinsocket.livejournal.com/16841.html?thread=889289#t889289)
Authoranon here. Finished filling this ages ago, not realizing part 1 had been closed, like, eons ago. Derp derp.
Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad does not think often about religion.
But sometimes, he cannot escape the fact that he is damned.
He is not a man of faith, nor has he ever been. Religion is occasionally interesting, and some of the moral teachings are things that he can agree with, but overall, he finds that religion is no different than any other myths or fairytales or cults that are present in any society, though it is admittedly far more widespread. Altair does, however, acknowledge that everybody must believe in something- in a set of rules, in a moral code.
Because he hadn’t believed. Not when he was a child, alone and learning to fend for himself, not when he was an adolescent, training days without break, and not when he was a master assassin, full of pride at the skill of his blade. He had thought that he only had to follow the rules he wanted to, and that the only thing he needed was his blade. A small part of him wants to excuse this foolish way of thinking- it was how he was raised, he didn’t know any other way- but Altair knows that this is nothing more than self-justification, a remnant of that damning pride that had lost him a friend and nearly his life.
Now. Now he believes in the Creed. It is far from ideal, and coming to accept it fully was a struggle, but he finds it an acceptable code of morals and guide to his actions.
It at least seems a far less ridiculous method than offering up praise to an invisible, omnipotent presence in the sky who watches over everyone. But he does not disdain the people who do. He accepts that it is not his place to judge others of their beliefs. He reserves his condescension for those fools who kill senselessly in the name of religions that supposedly practice peace, because that is a special kind of hypocrisy that is unforgivable, no matter what you believe.
He is mostly sure about all of this. Mostly.
But there are times, occasional, infrequent times, that the world seems to stand still and Altair finds himself on the highest rooftop he can find, staring up into the sky. And then he allows himself the freedom to question himself. He killed those who killed in the name of their religion. Was he not the same as them, then? Did his Creed exempt him from these deaths? Sometimes, the doubt clouds his mind and his heart grows heavy with questions that have no answer and he can see the appeal of talking to Allah or God and simply letting them handle everything.
Altair senses vaguely that there is something treacherous about these thoughts, but he cannot place his finger on it and that makes him uncomfortable. Almost every religion that he has learned teaches of a place of paradise for those who do good, and alternatively, a place of damnation and suffering for those who commit evils. And he wonders, where would he be sent?
He is mostly sure he knows the answer. Mostly.
And because that is that and he doesn’t see how he can change his fate, or whether he even would if he was given the opportunity to, Altair does not think often about religion.
A Perfect Circle [1/3]
Authoranon here. Finished filling this ages ago, not realizing part 1 had been closed, like, eons ago. Derp derp.
Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad does not think often about religion.
But sometimes, he cannot escape the fact that he is damned.
He is not a man of faith, nor has he ever been. Religion is occasionally interesting, and some of the moral teachings are things that he can agree with, but overall, he finds that religion is no different than any other myths or fairytales or cults that are present in any society, though it is admittedly far more widespread. Altair does, however, acknowledge that everybody must believe in something- in a set of rules, in a moral code.
Because he hadn’t believed. Not when he was a child, alone and learning to fend for himself, not when he was an adolescent, training days without break, and not when he was a master assassin, full of pride at the skill of his blade. He had thought that he only had to follow the rules he wanted to, and that the only thing he needed was his blade. A small part of him wants to excuse this foolish way of thinking- it was how he was raised, he didn’t know any other way- but Altair knows that this is nothing more than self-justification, a remnant of that damning pride that had lost him a friend and nearly his life.
Now. Now he believes in the Creed. It is far from ideal, and coming to accept it fully was a struggle, but he finds it an acceptable code of morals and guide to his actions.
It at least seems a far less ridiculous method than offering up praise to an invisible, omnipotent presence in the sky who watches over everyone. But he does not disdain the people who do. He accepts that it is not his place to judge others of their beliefs. He reserves his condescension for those fools who kill senselessly in the name of religions that supposedly practice peace, because that is a special kind of hypocrisy that is unforgivable, no matter what you believe.
He is mostly sure about all of this. Mostly.
But there are times, occasional, infrequent times, that the world seems to stand still and Altair finds himself on the highest rooftop he can find, staring up into the sky. And then he allows himself the freedom to question himself. He killed those who killed in the name of their religion. Was he not the same as them, then? Did his Creed exempt him from these deaths? Sometimes, the doubt clouds his mind and his heart grows heavy with questions that have no answer and he can see the appeal of talking to Allah or God and simply letting them handle everything.
Altair senses vaguely that there is something treacherous about these thoughts, but he cannot place his finger on it and that makes him uncomfortable. Almost every religion that he has learned teaches of a place of paradise for those who do good, and alternatively, a place of damnation and suffering for those who commit evils. And he wonders, where would he be sent?
He is mostly sure he knows the answer. Mostly.
And because that is that and he doesn’t see how he can change his fate, or whether he even would if he was given the opportunity to, Altair does not think often about religion.
Mostly.