Doctor White told me that Mother is very weak right now. That they had to try something that was very dangerous to get the baby girls out of him, and that he’s alive, but not well.
He told me I need to treat Mother gently and let him rest.
I asked him if Mother will get better, but he didn’t say anything. Just smiled and patted my shoulder.
I think...I think he thinks Mother might still die.
I think...
His large stomach was gone. It was flat again. He was so still I thought he wasn’t breathing, but then he’d be dead wouldn’t he, and Doctor White would have said...
Father was too busy talking to Doctor Davies. I don’t know what about, but he clearly doesn’t care about Mother. He doesn’t even come over and sit by Mother like I saw Mr. Collins do when Mr. Clipper got sick.
Doctor White did though. He fluffed Mother’s pillows and made sure the covers were pristine over Mother, and why wasn’t Father doing any of that?
He must really not care about Mother at all.
I can’t forgive Father.
Mother looked so pale. It was like all the life and the thing that made Mother Mother had left him.
And he didn’t wake, not even when I rubbed his hand against my cheek. Not even when I took one of the little figurines that Mother keeps in his room and put them in his hand.
He always liked those figurines. He said it reminded him of people who were kind and good to him.
He’d given me one to play with when I was little, but I don’t remember where I put it...
Mother looked so fragile against those white sheets. He looked like all the blood had left him and that...
He already looked dead.
Oh Mother.
Please don’t die. I swear I won’t ever be meant to you ever again.
I won’t argue or do naughty things or be a bad son.
I’m sorry for what I did.
I’m sorry I was bad to you, Mother.
So please get better.
And, and I’m sorry for throwing that cup at you and saying mean things. And thinking that you didn’t care to protect us.
You did, Mother. You did, and you got hurt because of it.
And I...
I was going to be a big brother. I was going to teach and lead and protect my little sisters.
It’s a Big Brother’s duty to protect their little siblings, right?
I can’t now. They’re dead, and it’s too late to protect them.
Father killed them. Just like he almost killed you.
I hate him, Mother. I hate Father.
And I’m scared of him. He was scary last time when he hit you, he was scary when he yelled at me for breaking Grandfather’s cup, and he’s even scarier now.
His Mother's Son 15
Journal of Haytham Lee, aged 12
I saw Mother. They finally let me see Mother.
He looks...
Doctor White told me that Mother is very weak right now. That they had to try something that was very dangerous to get the baby girls out of him, and that he’s alive, but not well.
He told me I need to treat Mother gently and let him rest.
I asked him if Mother will get better, but he didn’t say anything. Just smiled and patted my shoulder.
I think...I think he thinks Mother might still die.
I think...
His large stomach was gone. It was flat again. He was so still I thought he wasn’t breathing, but then he’d be dead wouldn’t he, and Doctor White would have said...
Father was too busy talking to Doctor Davies. I don’t know what about, but he clearly doesn’t care about Mother. He doesn’t even come over and sit by Mother like I saw Mr. Collins do when Mr. Clipper got sick.
Doctor White did though. He fluffed Mother’s pillows and made sure the covers were pristine over Mother, and why wasn’t Father doing any of that?
He must really not care about Mother at all.
I can’t forgive Father.
Mother looked so pale. It was like all the life and the thing that made Mother Mother had left him.
And he didn’t wake, not even when I rubbed his hand against my cheek. Not even when I took one of the little figurines that Mother keeps in his room and put them in his hand.
He always liked those figurines. He said it reminded him of people who were kind and good to him.
He’d given me one to play with when I was little, but I don’t remember where I put it...
Mother looked so fragile against those white sheets. He looked like all the blood had left him and that...
He already looked dead.
Oh Mother.
Please don’t die. I swear I won’t ever be meant to you ever again.
I won’t argue or do naughty things or be a bad son.
I’m sorry for what I did.
I’m sorry I was bad to you, Mother.
So please get better.
And, and I’m sorry for throwing that cup at you and saying mean things. And thinking that you didn’t care to protect us.
You did, Mother. You did, and you got hurt because of it.
And I...
I was going to be a big brother. I was going to teach and lead and protect my little sisters.
It’s a Big Brother’s duty to protect their little siblings, right?
I can’t now. They’re dead, and it’s too late to protect them.
Father killed them. Just like he almost killed you.
I hate him, Mother. I hate Father.
And I’m scared of him. He was scary last time when he hit you, he was scary when he yelled at me for breaking Grandfather’s cup, and he’s even scarier now.
I won’t let him hurt you again.
I promise you, Mother.
I will protect you.
So please get better and wake up, okay?
I love you, Mother.