Short chapter too, but wanted to get this part over with. Not too enthused with this section, so I'm hoping to get to a different section that will be less awkward to write.
In Pursuit of Happiness
Chapter 31 - Distance
A part of Charles was expecting Connor to dump both he and Master Kenway at the port and wash his hands of them. He felt it as a very real threat, this knowledge that he had, as Hickey might put it, bulloxed everything up. After spending so much of his waking moments worrying and thinking and planning to get his wife back, he had failed because as of something as mercurial as his own fickle temper.
It was vexing.
Charles spent the hours after Connor left expecting his wife’s first mate to make his entrance at any moment, ready to make good his earlier threats and force him off the ship. He sat there, in his sickbed, stomach souring at the thought of losing this opportunity to be with his wife, of losing future opportunities to be with his wife.
So when one hour passed, then two and no Faulkner, no rough Alpha crew member came to force him off, Charles felt crushing relief rush through him.
He felt weak and thoughts whirled about his head. He wasn’t going to be forced off. He wasn’t going to lose this contact with his wife. He hadn’t done as much damage as he had thought.
And yet, right after the relief passed, right after the worry and anxiety left him, he felt uneasy. Tired. His monumental task of winning over his wife, already so difficult, was made all that much harder with how he had handled the recent revelation of Washington’s betrayal.
His wife had never been all that trusting of him. He had only begun that long process of beginning communication with his wife, connecting with him, bonding with him. And now it would be as if he never made that progress at all.
A thought occurred to him.
Would Connor even speak to him again? Listen to him as he tried to explain himself?
His wife had not tossed him from his presence as Charles had feared, but would he allow him to be near him? To repair the damage that he’d wrought?
It was agonizing, thinking about the rest of the sea journey without the rapport he’d been building with his wife. It was agonizing to think of Connor so nearby and yet completely out of reach.
And Master Kenway!
What would he think? What would he do to Charles for jeopardizing this one chance they had of saving his son? Charles’s mentor had his doubts about Charles’s relationship with his son, but Charles had seen how hope had welled up inside him. Despite his demeanor, despite his manner, Charles’s mentor wanted him to succeed as much as Charles wanted to succeed.
What would he do to Charles for such a senseless failure?
And that was really the heart of it. It wasn’t so much that Charles had done so much damage as the fact that he done all that damage because of something as ridiculous as his own inability to control his temper.
Charles clenched his hands into a fist.
He was tired, he was heartsick, and he would not lose his wife again. He’d do everything possible to correct this when next he saw Connor. He’d think of something to say, something to make up for his lead tongue earlier. He’d make up for his cowardice, of being too afraid to wrap his arms around his trembling wife and comforting Connor.
He’d win Connor back.
He had to.
----
Of course, all of his intentions was predicated on his seeing his wife again. But days later, after Master Kenway had shown up and admonished him for his utter stupidity and then stalked off in a stormy rage, Charles had yet to see his beloved wife.
He hadn’t planned for this. He’d thought that Connor would be furious with him, would want to rage at him and demand answers as he said he would.
This avoidance instead, this utter silence...Charles didn’t know how to deal with it.
How did one make amends to someone who never showed up?
If Charles were not still bedridden, if he were well, it would have been a simple matter of waiting on deck. Connor was the captain, and he was needed to steer the ship. It would have been a perfect way to force the meeting that Charles so desired.
Instead, the ship’s doctor kept him chained to his bed. He was not allowed out of sickbay by any means, and the one time he tried to sneak out, two of the crew had seen him and promptly escorted him right back.
Charles probably should have been grateful that they didn’t lock him in, but he was too frustrated to feel gratefulness.
He could not even get a hold of Master Kenway. After his mentor’s visit, Master Kenway had also decided not to visit, staying instead in his own quarters and above deck. Charles imagined the Alpha must have used his time to work his own persuasions on his son, to try and undo some of Charles’s damage, but a part of him knew that this was simply punishment.
And it made him feel resentful.
He’d given so much of his life, so much of his loyalty...and this was how he was repaid?
A single, albeit devastating, mistake. Did he not even deserve a second chance?
Both Master Kenway and his wife turning their backs on him so easily...did he really mean so little to them?
His thoughts were poisonous, and Charles knew they were poisonous, but, alone and abandoned as he was, it was difficult to hold them at bay.
God, he wanted to see his wife again. He needed this chance to win him over. He wanted to learn more about him and come to understand him and...
Caught up in his thoughts as he was, Charles missed the pale green glow coming from the pendant around his neck.
It wasn’t until the bright green washed over him and chased away all of his surroundings that Charles realized that he stood (stood!) in front of a very familiar white-clad figure.
In Pursuit of Happiness 31
In Pursuit of Happiness
Chapter 31 - Distance
A part of Charles was expecting Connor to dump both he and Master Kenway at the port and wash his hands of them. He felt it as a very real threat, this knowledge that he had, as Hickey might put it, bulloxed everything up. After spending so much of his waking moments worrying and thinking and planning to get his wife back, he had failed because as of something as mercurial as his own fickle temper.
It was vexing.
Charles spent the hours after Connor left expecting his wife’s first mate to make his entrance at any moment, ready to make good his earlier threats and force him off the ship. He sat there, in his sickbed, stomach souring at the thought of losing this opportunity to be with his wife, of losing future opportunities to be with his wife.
So when one hour passed, then two and no Faulkner, no rough Alpha crew member came to force him off, Charles felt crushing relief rush through him.
He felt weak and thoughts whirled about his head. He wasn’t going to be forced off. He wasn’t going to lose this contact with his wife. He hadn’t done as much damage as he had thought.
And yet, right after the relief passed, right after the worry and anxiety left him, he felt uneasy. Tired. His monumental task of winning over his wife, already so difficult, was made all that much harder with how he had handled the recent revelation of Washington’s betrayal.
His wife had never been all that trusting of him. He had only begun that long process of beginning communication with his wife, connecting with him, bonding with him. And now it would be as if he never made that progress at all.
A thought occurred to him.
Would Connor even speak to him again? Listen to him as he tried to explain himself?
His wife had not tossed him from his presence as Charles had feared, but would he allow him to be near him? To repair the damage that he’d wrought?
It was agonizing, thinking about the rest of the sea journey without the rapport he’d been building with his wife. It was agonizing to think of Connor so nearby and yet completely out of reach.
And Master Kenway!
What would he think? What would he do to Charles for jeopardizing this one chance they had of saving his son? Charles’s mentor had his doubts about Charles’s relationship with his son, but Charles had seen how hope had welled up inside him. Despite his demeanor, despite his manner, Charles’s mentor wanted him to succeed as much as Charles wanted to succeed.
What would he do to Charles for such a senseless failure?
And that was really the heart of it. It wasn’t so much that Charles had done so much damage as the fact that he done all that damage because of something as ridiculous as his own inability to control his temper.
Charles clenched his hands into a fist.
He was tired, he was heartsick, and he would not lose his wife again. He’d do everything possible to correct this when next he saw Connor. He’d think of something to say, something to make up for his lead tongue earlier. He’d make up for his cowardice, of being too afraid to wrap his arms around his trembling wife and comforting Connor.
He’d win Connor back.
He had to.
----
Of course, all of his intentions was predicated on his seeing his wife again. But days later, after Master Kenway had shown up and admonished him for his utter stupidity and then stalked off in a stormy rage, Charles had yet to see his beloved wife.
He hadn’t planned for this. He’d thought that Connor would be furious with him, would want to rage at him and demand answers as he said he would.
This avoidance instead, this utter silence...Charles didn’t know how to deal with it.
How did one make amends to someone who never showed up?
If Charles were not still bedridden, if he were well, it would have been a simple matter of waiting on deck. Connor was the captain, and he was needed to steer the ship. It would have been a perfect way to force the meeting that Charles so desired.
Instead, the ship’s doctor kept him chained to his bed. He was not allowed out of sickbay by any means, and the one time he tried to sneak out, two of the crew had seen him and promptly escorted him right back.
Charles probably should have been grateful that they didn’t lock him in, but he was too frustrated to feel gratefulness.
He could not even get a hold of Master Kenway. After his mentor’s visit, Master Kenway had also decided not to visit, staying instead in his own quarters and above deck. Charles imagined the Alpha must have used his time to work his own persuasions on his son, to try and undo some of Charles’s damage, but a part of him knew that this was simply punishment.
And it made him feel resentful.
He’d given so much of his life, so much of his loyalty...and this was how he was repaid?
A single, albeit devastating, mistake. Did he not even deserve a second chance?
Both Master Kenway and his wife turning their backs on him so easily...did he really mean so little to them?
His thoughts were poisonous, and Charles knew they were poisonous, but, alone and abandoned as he was, it was difficult to hold them at bay.
God, he wanted to see his wife again. He needed this chance to win him over. He wanted to learn more about him and come to understand him and...
Caught up in his thoughts as he was, Charles missed the pale green glow coming from the pendant around his neck.
It wasn’t until the bright green washed over him and chased away all of his surroundings that Charles realized that he stood (stood!) in front of a very familiar white-clad figure.