“Well,” Giovanni coughed, hoping his cowl and the shadows hid his grin, “I am not sure how I can help you, milady. Did you want me to talk to the Duce?”
“I have tried talking to him,” Clarice said irritably, with a dismissive wave of her hand. “In fact, I think he was briefly involved with some woman, a Lucrezie Donati, which I thought was promising, but it ended too quickly for it to be of any use to me. It seems this Donati woman was afraid of my temper! Could you imagine?”
“No, milady,” Behind his back, Giovanni curled his fingers tightly into his palms. “But-”
“And what is worse,” Clarice continued, throwing up her hands, “He is not content with just once or twice a year. If it was just for the sake of ensuring succession, perhaps I could understand; the Medici have many enemies. No, Lorenzo wants to bed me whenever he has time outside of his work and his Court! Sometimes, being heavily pregnant can be a relief, in this regard!”
The assassin closed his eyes briefly and wished a silent curse on his master. He was going to die either of pent-up laughter or sheer embarrassment, at this rate. “Mi dispiace, milady, but I am still unclear how I can-”
“My husband trusts you absolutely, assassino, and there are few people he trusts utterly,” Clarice huffed, folding her arms over her ample chest. It was small wonder why Lorenzo was so willing to return to his marital bed despite the tiger that inhabited it; beneath her fiery temper and her unflinching religious beliefs, Lady Clarice Orsini was conventionally beautiful.
“I thank you for saying so, milady,” Giovanni said warily, sensing a trap.
“So, I think you may be able to be of assistance to us both,” Clarice continued bluntly. “The last time he was in bed with me he was drunk-”
“Milady…” Giovanni did not want to know any more details about his master’s private life. Now and forever.
“Be silent when I am talking to you, assassino! Do you not know any sort of etiquette or common courtesy? In any case, the last time, he was drunk, and when he finished, he called this name, ‘Giovanni’.”
“Uh…” The assassin had a sudden and terrible premonition.
“Naturally,” Clarice continued, ignoring him, “We know a lot of Giovannis, as it is not an uncommon name. We have a son called Giovanni. So I pressed him about the identity of this ‘Giovanni’, and he was drunk enough to tell me that it was the name of ‘his’ assassin, one ‘Giovanni Auditore’. Thankfully, in the morning he did not seem to remember anything.”
God hated him. “Milady, I-”
“Therefore, I instantly observed a perfect solution to the problem,” Clarice clapped her hands together. “The Medici trust you and no doubt you are discreet. You do not seem afraid of me, and I am certainly not afraid of you. You are already close to my husband and it is clear that he desires you. Furthermore, you kill for him, which is just as illegal as sodomy. And so I propose that you proceed to take care of his… predilections. I can then go shopping in Roma in peace, and married life will finally be satisfactory. Agreed?”
“Milady Orsini-”
“Lorenzo returns to Firenze within the week,” Clarice added, ignoring his attempted protests, sweeping regally towards the door. “I trust that I will not be troubled in the least upon his arrival. Do try your best not to disappoint me, assassino.”
The door slammed shut with an air of finality, and, knees weak, Giovanni leant heavily against the wall, putting an arm over his eyes. He could feel a headache coming.
-tbc: I’m sorry, Lorenzo, but if I was Clarice I would have gone crazy already -.- so many kids! Nine ;o-
In the interests of (someone else's) satisfactory married life [2/?]
“I have tried talking to him,” Clarice said irritably, with a dismissive wave of her hand. “In fact, I think he was briefly involved with some woman, a Lucrezie Donati, which I thought was promising, but it ended too quickly for it to be of any use to me. It seems this Donati woman was afraid of my temper! Could you imagine?”
“No, milady,” Behind his back, Giovanni curled his fingers tightly into his palms. “But-”
“And what is worse,” Clarice continued, throwing up her hands, “He is not content with just once or twice a year. If it was just for the sake of ensuring succession, perhaps I could understand; the Medici have many enemies. No, Lorenzo wants to bed me whenever he has time outside of his work and his Court! Sometimes, being heavily pregnant can be a relief, in this regard!”
The assassin closed his eyes briefly and wished a silent curse on his master. He was going to die either of pent-up laughter or sheer embarrassment, at this rate. “Mi dispiace, milady, but I am still unclear how I can-”
“My husband trusts you absolutely, assassino, and there are few people he trusts utterly,” Clarice huffed, folding her arms over her ample chest. It was small wonder why Lorenzo was so willing to return to his marital bed despite the tiger that inhabited it; beneath her fiery temper and her unflinching religious beliefs, Lady Clarice Orsini was conventionally beautiful.
“I thank you for saying so, milady,” Giovanni said warily, sensing a trap.
“So, I think you may be able to be of assistance to us both,” Clarice continued bluntly. “The last time he was in bed with me he was drunk-”
“Milady…” Giovanni did not want to know any more details about his master’s private life. Now and forever.
“Be silent when I am talking to you, assassino! Do you not know any sort of etiquette or common courtesy? In any case, the last time, he was drunk, and when he finished, he called this name, ‘Giovanni’.”
“Uh…” The assassin had a sudden and terrible premonition.
“Naturally,” Clarice continued, ignoring him, “We know a lot of Giovannis, as it is not an uncommon name. We have a son called Giovanni. So I pressed him about the identity of this ‘Giovanni’, and he was drunk enough to tell me that it was the name of ‘his’ assassin, one ‘Giovanni Auditore’. Thankfully, in the morning he did not seem to remember anything.”
God hated him. “Milady, I-”
“Therefore, I instantly observed a perfect solution to the problem,” Clarice clapped her hands together. “The Medici trust you and no doubt you are discreet. You do not seem afraid of me, and I am certainly not afraid of you. You are already close to my husband and it is clear that he desires you. Furthermore, you kill for him, which is just as illegal as sodomy. And so I propose that you proceed to take care of his… predilections. I can then go shopping in Roma in peace, and married life will finally be satisfactory. Agreed?”
“Milady Orsini-”
“Lorenzo returns to Firenze within the week,” Clarice added, ignoring his attempted protests, sweeping regally towards the door. “I trust that I will not be troubled in the least upon his arrival. Do try your best not to disappoint me, assassino.”
The door slammed shut with an air of finality, and, knees weak, Giovanni leant heavily against the wall, putting an arm over his eyes. He could feel a headache coming.
-tbc: I’m sorry, Lorenzo, but if I was Clarice I would have gone crazy already -.- so many kids! Nine ;o-