My friend and I were talking about AC fanfiction in the car one day. I read it, she doesn't, so I was trying to explain to her a few things. There was a bit of confusion and somehow she decided that in AC1 Altair and Malik had 'phone sex' using carrier pigeons.

Anon needs this cracky scenario desperately! Bonus points if someone intersects their message and reads it!

Alternate prompt: Altair and Malik in modern times actually having phone sex.