He starred at the ceiling not knowing how to answer the question. His heart was still racing and there was a small spark of desire still burning within his lower abdomen but his arousal was completely gone since the cold fist of panic had crushed everything inside of him.
“No”, he finally decided to answer as Altair moved into a different position and he felt his gaze burning into him.
“I need to know, Malik”, his words were whispered into his ear, soon followed by a soft kiss. “You screaming our safe-word is something I don't want to experience again.”
No, Malik didn't want that either. Truth be told, he was still terrified. The snippets of his memories had been short, very short, but it had felt as if it just had happened. Nothing he'd ever experienced before, nothing he wanted to experience ever again. For months he didn't have had any memories at all of the time he'd spent in delirium after they had cut off his arm. He was told that he was conscious during some time, but he couldn't recall those moments. After a year the first memories had returned in his dreams. He hadn't slept well ever since. But this – this – was something new and now he was scared that it might happen again.
He sighed. “Fuck you Altair. There won't be a next time so you have nothing to worry about. Now let me up”, he murmured as he tried to push the arm away that was wrapped around his chest but Altair's hold got stronger.
“No”, his voice was a deep growl and for a moment Malik considered to do as he was told. “You can't run from your demons this time.” With this Malik shoved Altair forcefully off him, using his one elbow to sit up. He glared down at him.
“What?”, he hissed as he felt the anger rise within him.
Altair propped himself up using his elbows as well. He caught Malik's gaze and hold it. “Stay with me.” It almost sounded kind but didn't help to soothe Malik's anger.
“Fuck this”, he told Altair and got up, walking to the opposite wall to grab his pants and robe that lay in one corner of the room. He stood with his pants in his hands before he turned around to glare at Altair who hadn't move at all.
“Get up. Get out of this bureau and go finish your mission has you had originally planed Altair.” He pulled on his pants not caring fastening them as he pushed his robes over his head and shoulders. His hand run through his hair as he tired to sort out his thoughts.
“This – all of this”, he murmured softly after long minutes of silence, his eyes starring at no particularly spot on the floor, “was a mistake. It will never happen again. We will never happen again.”
He could hear the rustle of fabric as Altair moved to sit up, resting his elbows on his knees.
“If I went to far – I apologize. But I can not follow your thoughts.”
Malik turned around, his angry gaze sending daggers into Altair. “Blasphemy! It is all blasphemy!”
Altair smirked and he wanted to punch him.
“Really? Blasphemy? I think it's too late to worry about that.”
Malik's hand rose and grabbed his hair as if he wanted to pull it out as a frustrated moan passed his lips. “Just go”, he told Altair and it almost sounded like a whine.
Re: FILL: Trust 7a/?
“No”, he finally decided to answer as Altair moved into a different position and he felt his gaze burning into him.
“I need to know, Malik”, his words were whispered into his ear, soon followed by a soft kiss. “You screaming our safe-word is something I don't want to experience again.”
No, Malik didn't want that either. Truth be told, he was still terrified. The snippets of his memories had been short, very short, but it had felt as if it just had happened. Nothing he'd ever experienced before, nothing he wanted to experience ever again. For months he didn't have had any memories at all of the time he'd spent in delirium after they had cut off his arm. He was told that he was conscious during some time, but he couldn't recall those moments. After a year the first memories had returned in his dreams. He hadn't slept well ever since. But this – this – was something new and now he was scared that it might happen again.
He sighed. “Fuck you Altair. There won't be a next time so you have nothing to worry about. Now let me up”, he murmured as he tried to push the arm away that was wrapped around his chest but Altair's hold got stronger.
“No”, his voice was a deep growl and for a moment Malik considered to do as he was told. “You can't run from your demons this time.” With this Malik shoved Altair forcefully off him, using his one elbow to sit up. He glared down at him.
“What?”, he hissed as he felt the anger rise within him.
Altair propped himself up using his elbows as well. He caught Malik's gaze and hold it. “Stay with me.” It almost sounded kind but didn't help to soothe Malik's anger.
“Fuck this”, he told Altair and got up, walking to the opposite wall to grab his pants and robe that lay in one corner of the room. He stood with his pants in his hands before he turned around to glare at Altair who hadn't move at all.
“Get up. Get out of this bureau and go finish your mission has you had originally planed Altair.” He pulled on his pants not caring fastening them as he pushed his robes over his head and shoulders. His hand run through his hair as he tired to sort out his thoughts.
“This – all of this”, he murmured softly after long minutes of silence, his eyes starring at no particularly spot on the floor, “was a mistake. It will never happen again. We will never happen again.”
He could hear the rustle of fabric as Altair moved to sit up, resting his elbows on his knees.
“If I went to far – I apologize. But I can not follow your thoughts.”
Malik turned around, his angry gaze sending daggers into Altair. “Blasphemy! It is all blasphemy!”
Altair smirked and he wanted to punch him.
“Really? Blasphemy? I think it's too late to worry about that.”
Malik's hand rose and grabbed his hair as if he wanted to pull it out as a frustrated moan passed his lips. “Just go”, he told Altair and it almost sounded like a whine.