The words hit him like Altair's fist had hit him before in the stomach.
Trust.
He blinked a few times before he starred at Altair.
Yes, he trusted him, more than anybody else. But could he still trust himself? All of this, all of what they had done the last couple of months maybe had went out of their hands. Maybe they had lost control – he knew that he certainly had lost it. Everything he had he had put into Altair's hands. He had given him control, permission to do everything to him he wanted. It was a sin, it was forbidden, it was blissful and it made him feel more alive than anything else. Sometimes when he was close to climax, Altair would have had pressed a hand against his throat to hinder him from breathing. It could have killed him, but he had trusted Altair to remove his hand before he would pass out and he'd done just that. To be with Altair was exciting – just the thought of what they had experienced together made his heart race. Malik knew with Altair at his side he could let his guard down. When Altair fucked him, Malik was all vulnerable – but he didn't mind that, he never did. In some way the fucking wasn't the important part. His own pleasure, his own satisfaction was not that important. What was important was that it were Altair who did all this to him, who shared those moments with him.
Did he trust him?
Yes, there was no lying about that and it never was the point really. But – but what had just happened had scarred him and it was something that was beyond fucking, beyond them sharing their bed as Altair would put it. It was nothing that Altair should know, nothing he wanted to share with him. What he wanted to share with Altair were those moments where he could lose himself, where he could stop thinking and worrying. He wanted to lose himself into that abyss of bliss again.
It had been Robert de Sable's blade that had cost him his arm – he couldn't let the man take this away from him too, could he? Malik had endured the pain of his arm being cut off. He had endured the loss of his brother. He had endured so many more during his life, this was something he could endure too.
“Of course I do”, Malik rasped.
“Then be honest with me.”
He leaned into Altair, his lips crushing against his as he felt new desire starting to burn inside of him. His tongue followed the lines of Altair's mouth as he hoped the other one would part his lips for his tongue to enter. But instead Altair withdraw and pulled his arm above his head away from the wall and used his upper hand to throw Malik to the ground. He hovered over him, looking down at him.
“Are you done with your drama?”, Altair asked him.
Malik nodded slowly. “Yes”, he answered, then looked to the side on the floor. “But I need you to do something for me.” At those words Altair raised his eyebrows in question. “Yes?”
“Control me. Use me, satisfies me. Cut me and hurt me as you had before.”
Because if I can get pass this nothing will stand between us.
Altair furrowed his brows. Malik could almost see how the thoughts rotated within his head. Then he nodded. “Alright.”
Re: FILL: Trust 7c/?
Trust.
He blinked a few times before he starred at Altair.
Yes, he trusted him, more than anybody else. But could he still trust himself? All of this, all of what they had done the last couple of months maybe had went out of their hands. Maybe they had lost control – he knew that he certainly had lost it. Everything he had he had put into Altair's hands. He had given him control, permission to do everything to him he wanted. It was a sin, it was forbidden, it was blissful and it made him feel more alive than anything else. Sometimes when he was close to climax, Altair would have had pressed a hand against his throat to hinder him from breathing. It could have killed him, but he had trusted Altair to remove his hand before he would pass out and he'd done just that. To be with Altair was exciting – just the thought of what they had experienced together made his heart race. Malik knew with Altair at his side he could let his guard down. When Altair fucked him, Malik was all vulnerable – but he didn't mind that, he never did. In some way the fucking wasn't the important part. His own pleasure, his own satisfaction was not that important. What was important was that it were Altair who did all this to him, who shared those moments with him.
Did he trust him?
Yes, there was no lying about that and it never was the point really. But – but what had just happened had scarred him and it was something that was beyond fucking, beyond them sharing their bed as Altair would put it. It was nothing that Altair should know, nothing he wanted to share with him. What he wanted to share with Altair were those moments where he could lose himself, where he could stop thinking and worrying. He wanted to lose himself into that abyss of bliss again.
It had been Robert de Sable's blade that had cost him his arm – he couldn't let the man take this away from him too, could he? Malik had endured the pain of his arm being cut off. He had endured the loss of his brother. He had endured so many more during his life, this was something he could endure too.
“Of course I do”, Malik rasped.
“Then be honest with me.”
He leaned into Altair, his lips crushing against his as he felt new desire starting to burn inside of him. His tongue followed the lines of Altair's mouth as he hoped the other one would part his lips for his tongue to enter. But instead Altair withdraw and pulled his arm above his head away from the wall and used his upper hand to throw Malik to the ground. He hovered over him, looking down at him.
“Are you done with your drama?”, Altair asked him.
Malik nodded slowly. “Yes”, he answered, then looked to the side on the floor. “But I need you to do something for me.” At those words Altair raised his eyebrows in question. “Yes?”
“Control me. Use me, satisfies me. Cut me and hurt me as you had before.”
Because if I can get pass this nothing will stand between us.
Altair furrowed his brows. Malik could almost see how the thoughts rotated within his head. Then he nodded. “Alright.”
Malik looked up at him. “Alright?”
“Yes.” Altair nodded.