I don't know why, but I keep thinking of this all the time...

Desmond is a college student who is very close to his cousins Altair, Ezio and Connor. They are constantly visiting with each other/know what's going on with each other's lives. Desmond particularly because he's always having to help the trio with their love lives.

Altair is in love with his best friend Malik, but Malik hates him because Altair broke his younger brother's heart. (Kadar was in love with Altair but found out he wanted someone else).

Ezio can't seem to keep his dick in his pants and is going through an identity crisis because he wants to bang his older friend Leonardo.

Connor is just a naiive and quiet guy who's oblivious to people flirting with him and trying to ask him out. Not only that, his father and mother watch over him like he's a precious baby animal. Connor is secretly crushing over George Washington.

As for Desmond? Well, the love of his life got ran over by a car and he may or may not have a stalker (Alex Mercer).

I just want a goofy ficlit of each of the pairings: Altair/Malik Ezio/Leo or Leo/Ezio, George/Connor, and Alex Mercer/Desmond.