asscreedkinkmeme | Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 5

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assassin's creed

Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 5

Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.5
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Join or Die

✩ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

✩ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

✩ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

✩ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

✩ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

✩ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

✩ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

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Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
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Discussion

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Compared to the previous games, the areas (especially the Frontier and the burnt down part of New York) look a lot dirtier and grittier. And Connor runs through that dirt, rolls in it when battling someone, climbs ash stained houses and stabs guards. I can only imagine the amount of blood and guts splattered everywhere.

What I'd love to see is someone giving Connor a bath/forcing him to take a bath/just dumping him in the tub, clothes and all, because he is such a dirty mess. Maybe it was when Connor was a kid and attempted to climb trees and Ziio walked past just in time to see him fall down face first into the mud. She then proceeds to give him a bath and a stern talking to.

Or maybe it was after Connor made his way to the Davenport homestead, after taking the boy in, Achilles got a wiff of that cougar blood, sweat and whatever smell Connor caught when he slept in the stable and prodded Connor with his cane until he took a bath.

Or last but not least, Haytham is taking a stroll through New York (during the part where they're more or less civil to each other? AU?) and sees Connor sitting in the burnt down remains of an old house, splattered with blood and guts and dirt and decides that as long as they're working together, Connor better look presentable. And smell presentable, too.

Pairings are entirely optional and up to the author.

I want the Haytham or Achilles one so bad. Seconded! I can imagine Haytham's gentlemanly nostrils not being able to stand the stench of the wild.

*random anon walks past, stops, backs a couple of paces* THIS. I CRAVE IT.

Not by me, but a picture of George Washington bathing Connor because of a pun.

http://pakhnokh.deviantart.com/art/Washing-Ratonhnhake-ton-331419578

Until someone actually writes this, I guess we will have to stick with this.

OP says thanks for the link because that is adorable! :D (look at that grumpy little face, Connor clearly doesn't like bathtime)

You're welcome. I still want a fic though. Greedy anon is greedy.

I just had the thought of Connor sprinting through the streets of New York, running away from Haytham wielding a bar of soap.
Someone write this. Please.

Mathias wasn't entirely sure what to think when he first saw the scene.

He was sitting on his porch, sipping a cup of tea and waiting for his wife to get back from her outing with her friends. It was a pleasant day, and all his work was over, all his chores done, and for once he was just content on relaxing on the front porch in his chair until his Lila came home, and they could retire to the living room and cuddle (it was nice not having kids yet). He was going to surprise her with a trip to the tailor for a new dress. He was going to kiss her and smile as he told her about his pay raise.

Of course, now it seemed as if he had more interesting things to tell her. Things perfect for women to talk about. Gossipy women would love this. It was impossible for them not to talk about.

There was a redskin running away from Haytham Kenway.

And running quite quickly, but Haytham was no slowpoke. It was quite an odd chase. There was, at most, a meter between them, broken only when the Indian would roll just to the side to avoid Haytham's weapon.

Upon closer look, Mathias decided the weapon wasn't really a weapon at all.

It was a bar of soap.

And from the looks of it (they had one just like it, probably from the same maker), an extremely powerful bar of soap.

Of course, Mathias couldn't really make out dirt on the man's skin.

But of course, he was Indian.

Which made him wonder why Haytham was chasing a redskin with a bar of soap.

And then Mathias realized that the Indian was naked.

Buck naked, as a matter of fact.

His wife was going to love this.

And Haytham was shouting obscenities at the poor man, waving the soap around and trying to terrify the poor, naked man scrambling up onto the rooftops.

SO naturally, Mathias had to step into the street to watch this. They were on the outskirts of the city--they must have been running for quite some time to get here from Haytham's house.

And then Mathias blushed, because the poor man being chased was huge.

Maybe he wouldn't tell his wife everything about it. A few white lies wouldn't hurt. Especially not in the bedroom-type details.

Nevertheless, Mathias had never heard some of the insults Haytham was spouting, screaming like a banshee as he ran with the soap after the boy, who was running like a bat out of Hell.

God help the poor boy. He looked terrified.

He watched as the boy jumped from the end of the roof and rolled onto the dirt, Haytham starting up a whole new line of colorful and inventive cursing that would probably have his ancestors rolling in their graves. This was not the Haytham Mathias was used to talking to. Still, the boy kept running, down the street and into the woods, and Haytham still chased him, down the street and into the woods.

Mathias blinked as he processed what happened. It wasn't something that he had ever seen before. The poor Indian would be traumatized if Haytham caught him. He made the sign of the cross and shook his head.

"Dear? Mathias, dear, what's wrong?"

He turned to look at his wife, staring at her blankly for a little while before he blinked rapidly and opened his mouth to speak. He closed it shortly after, shaking his head again.

"God save the Indians," he muttered, going over to kiss his wife hello.

------------------------------
I couldn't help it. I had to write it. I'm sorry. I'm a terrible person, but this was just too nice to pass up.

I cackled so long and loud at this I was afeared I'd wake my daughter up, but I just can't stop laughing. I'm giggling as I write, this was too fucking priceless.

Aaaah, I don't even have words for how funny this was, it's just so fucking perfect!!

*chases anon, bearing chocolates and affection* Come back here, perfect person! Putting this story in the perspective of an onlooker was brilliant and made it all the more hilarious. Oh Connor. Just get in the damn bath.

I'm glad you guys loved it! XD I wasn't expecting reviews so quickly! Oh, you just gave me the motivation I need to study. I'm so happy you guys liked it. XD

Poor Connor. I'd be afraid to get in the bath if Haytham was cleaning me.

I don't mean to be rude, but the use of the word "redskin" and "indian" is offensive.

*facepalm*

It's a fanfic. Using a character from those years. Which was common.

*another facepalm*

Yep. Except to a white man who was raised with those words being said who doesn't know any better, which is the character.

That was kind of the point, given that the Indians weren't, exactly, treated with oodles of love and adoration...

So very, very perfect anon. This is the anon who linked the pic, and boy, was your fill OVER 9000 times better.

Morning = Made. This was hilarious, especially since it's an outsider's perspective who just goes all 'you know, I'll just enjoy the show. Because I can'. Connor, I get that you don't like soap. The dirt/smell probably helps with hunting animals or something but if guards can smell where you're hiding, it's not helping.

And a yelling Haytham, one who just lost all his cool, is a pretty awesome image. :D

*wipes a happy tears from the corner of her eye* I love you, anon. Have all my internets.

THIS WAS AMAZING! I am not worthy! HAVE MY FIRST-BORN!

Dear writer!anon, you are epic. As in, really epic.

I saw the prompt, thought it was cool and two pages later I was all: nah, I have to do it. And there you were.
It was a brilliant fill, I'm glad you did it... I feel so bad for Connor... climbing stuff barefoot must hurt but stark naked? Maaaaaaaaaaaaan... awkward ouchies ahoy. /is an awfully mean person

/fidgets

But I'll still run away with the prompt... /runs away full pelt, but not before showering this dear anon with chocolate and cookies

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Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 5

Bathtime for Connor

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Here's a pic

OP

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Soaponification

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OP

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