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asscreedkinkmeme) wrote2012-10-29 11:35 pm
asscreedkinkmeme) wrote2012-10-29 11:35 pm
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Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 5
Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.5
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Part 1
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Discussion
Assassin's Creed: Wedding Planner
(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 02:23 am (UTC)(link)Dear write!anon please fix this for me. Connor's clearly besties with both Norris and Myriam and has gone out of his way to make that relationship happen! Now he gets to plan the wedding! I don't need the ceremony (I don't generally like weddings of any sort but I do love Norris and Myriam) so I just need Connor doing planning and preparation, maybe with some help from the married women on the homestead. And of course a big party to top it all off with Connor dancing awkwardly (father daughter dance with Myriam and or Ellen prodding him to round out her dance card).
If you want to go really cracky I would still love it! Myriam says yes to the dress or goes bridezilla?! My Big Fat Colonial Wedding?! I don't care! Just get these crazy kids hitched!!
Re: Assassin's Creed: Wedding Planner
(Anonymous) 2012-11-14 08:43 am (UTC)(link)Re: Assassin's Creed: Wedding Planner
(Anonymous) 2012-11-16 02:27 am (UTC)(link)Aww man, I got all excited thinking about this and I love silly fic, I have to write something now!
Re: Assassin's Creed: Wedding Planner
(Anonymous) 2012-11-16 03:00 am (UTC)(link)Re: Assassin's Creed: Wedding Planner
(Anonymous) 2012-11-17 12:28 am (UTC)(link)FILL: Connor, Wedding Planner (1 of like 5ish)
(Anonymous) 2012-12-05 01:43 am (UTC)(link)-----CONNOR HAS A MENTAL CRISIS
“Connor,” Corinne said, “you look preoccupied. Is something bothering you?” It was the sort of circumstance in which she normally would’ve offered a drink, but Connor had strict rules about drinking that he only broke when he felt like it.
“It’s the wedding,” he said glumly.
“Norris and Myriam’s? Why, that’s nothing to be down about! It will be the happiest occasion the Homestead has seen!” She wasn’t exaggerating. Prudence and Warren having a baby was pretty happy, but other than that it had been mostly near-drownings, Redcoats hunting down deserters, and violent games of Fanorona.
“I know their life together will hold nothing but happiness, but it all has to start with the wedding!” Connor buried his head in his hands. “I don’t know what weddings are like!”
“Oh, Connor, dear. Father Timothy will take care of the ceremony, Ollie and I will do the reception, and all that’s left is for you to give her away. It’s nothing to worry about.”
Connor stared at her, desperation in his eyes. “I’m told she will have to borrow something blue.”
“Why don’t you let Ellen handle that, dear.”
Re: FILL: Connor, Wedding Planner (1 of like 5ish)
(Anonymous) 2012-12-05 09:08 am (UTC)(link)I can absolutely hear Connor saying this very, very seriously.
FILL: Connor, Wedding Planner (2 of like 5ish)
(Anonymous) 2012-12-05 01:46 am (UTC)(link)-----CONNOR IS NOT INTO FASHION
Corinne had assuaged his fears about the blue thing, but there was still a lot to be done before the wedding. The dress, for example. Ellen swore she had it under control, but Myriam had ambushed him in a tree and said she couldn’t possibly wear that monstrosity, and Dr. White had written him a note saying it was like 3 years out of fashion, and Big Dave had already made a cast-iron stomacher, so clearly Connor was going to have to interfere somehow.
“How does the day find you, Ellen?”
It was the wrong opening gambit. She had a wild-eyed feral look to her, like she might attack someone trespassing on her plot of land. It was terrifying if you were deathly afraid of women, which Connor was.
“Miserable, that’s how!” She picked up a pin and stabbed it menacingly into the dressform, and Connor instinctively readied his hidden blade. “It seems I can’t please anyone!”
“I doubt that’s true,” Connor said. “I think it looks lovely.”
“Of course you do, it looks like the outfit you wear every day!” Ellen sighed. “That Myriam is such a hoyden, I suppose she’d rather just get married in her hunting camouflage.” She walked around the dressform and sighed again. It did look quite a bit like the assassin robes, since form-fitting white robes with a great deal of drapery make a pretty nice wedding dress. In fact, it would’ve benefited from a sash with a sexy brooch.
Connor was about to suggest she add a hood when they were interrupted.
“Yoohoo! Ellen! Are you home?”
They both turned to look at the intruder. It was... Lance?
“I heard you were having trouble with Myriam’s dress, and I thought I might be able to help!” Lance said. “Oh, nice to see you, Connor. Did you want to sit down? I brought a folding chair.”
“I-- I was just leaving.” Connor leapt into a tree just as he heard Lance use what might have been a French fashion term. The Marquis de Lafayette would probably know what it meant, but Connor didn’t want to go there. He had learned far, far too much the last time they had discussed women's clothes.
Re: FILL: Connor, Wedding Planner (2 of like 5ish)
(Anonymous) 2012-12-05 03:56 am (UTC)(link)"Connor had strict rules about drinking that he only broke when he felt like it"
"if you were deathly afraid of women, which Connor was"
"it would’ve benefited from a sash with a sexy brooch"
"He had learned far, far too much the last time they had discussed women's clothes"
Gaaah, omigosh, each of these lines just made me burst out laughing, and the whole thing is so cute so far!! I just LOVE this! I'm not OP, but I wish I was, to have caused this much awesome to be born!
FILL: Connor, Wedding Planner (3 of what will probably be 6??!)
(Anonymous) 2012-12-05 04:26 pm (UTC)(link)-----CONNOR DEALS WITH RELIGIOUS STRIFE
As so far most of the emergencies had come from Myriam’s end, it was something of a relief to get a desperate plea for help from Norris.
“Con-air! What am I going to do?!”
Connor was about to say, “try to store your gunpowder away from your water supply,” but soon it became clear that wasn’t Norris’ chief concern. “Yes, Norris?”
“Father Timothy! ‘e is going to officiate the wedding!”
“Of course. Who else is qualified?”
“Non, non! Impossible!” Norris wrung his hands in anguish. “‘E cannot. ‘E... ‘e is not a Catholic!”
“But he wears that funny hat--”
“Absolument NON! And I cannot ‘ave the third... or maybe fourth most important ceremony of my life presided over by a... a...” He spat the words as though they made him sick. “A Protestant!”
“Why? What’s wrong with that?”
“WHAT’S WRONG? WHY--
[This fanfiction was written by a multicultural team of various religious faiths and beliefs]
“--so you see why it would be like shitting on the grave of my ancestors to allow an English pig to ‘ave anything to do with the sacrament of matrimony!”
Connor waited to reply until Norris seemed out of momentum (meanwhile, he learned many interesting anatomical suggestions and appropriated religious slurs). “In any case, you have no cause to worry, my friend. Father Timothy is indeed a Catholic. In fact, Samuel Adams has refused to speak to me since he learned a Romanist settled on the Homestead.”
A huge grin broke out on Norris’ face. “Ah, Con-air! That is such a weight off my shoulders! Now what were you saying about gunpowder?”
(That night, a fight broke out between Terry and a crewman on the Aquila about the definition of meat. Connor would never understand these people.)
Re: FILL: Connor, Wedding Planner (3 of what will probably be 6??!)
(Anonymous) 2012-12-05 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)Ostie d'tabarnak d'anglophone! Lol'ing forever!
Re: FILL: Connor, Wedding Planner (3 of what will probably be 6??!)
(Anonymous) 2012-12-05 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)Re: FILL: Connor, Wedding Planner (3 of what will probably be 6??!)
(Anonymous) 2012-12-06 04:46 am (UTC)(link)A!A! That was a brilliant joke!
I love this whole thing~