Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 5

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Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.5
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Join or Die

✩ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

✩ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

✩ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

✩ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

✩ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

✩ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

✩ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
Kink Meme Masterlist
New Kink Meme Masterlist
(Livejorunal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
#2 (Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive <- Currently active
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Fills Only
Discussion

Comments

Oh God, that wasn't clean straw

[(Anonymous)]

I was watching a play-through and saw Eizo dive into a convenient pile of straw to hide- and it occurred to me, that the way it was heaped looked a little more... used than clean, if you know what I mean.

I just want a little suffering, misery, and the sudden realization that the assassin has picked the wrong haystack.

gratuitous bathing scene would be an added bonus.

Beware the Haystacks 1/1

[(Anonymous)]

This.Just this. This anon would like to take a small shot at it, but promises nothing. It's been a while since I've played AC2, so the boys might come out a little OOC. :C

---

If Ezio had ever wished he had the ability to turn back the clock and redo something, it was right now. Waist-deep in something warm and far too disgusting to suit his tastes, the assassin raised hidden eyes to the sky and wondered if this was some sort of cruel revenge against what he'd done in the past. Maybe this was his father's way of telling him from beyond the grave he didn't condone what Ezio was doing every night with the many women of the brothel, or maybe his brother was playing a cruel trick on him. Either way, he had clearly chosen the wrong haystack.

And of all the days too. His target had been especially feisty, and when Ezio had finally tracked them down and killed them, the guards had come running by the hoards. Ezio had been desperate and hadn't looked the haystack over before he'd leapt - it was only once he was in mid-air, unable to turn back, that he'd smelled the scent of the pile he was fixing to land in. And now here he was, twitching and trying not to think about what he'd landed in.

He needed to get clean. NOW.

--

Leonardo's eyes were wide as he took in the still-twitching-in-disgust, covered-in-unspeakable-things assassin standing in his room, reeking of feces, piss and something Leonardo might be able to pass off as vomit if he wished hard enough. Knowing just how hot-tempered his friend was, Leonardo cautiously gestured to his person. "Um... what-?"

"Haystack." Ezio's tone was short and clipped, expressing his utter distaste in the subject at hand. Not his fault of course. "Bath?"

"Oh yes, of course! Let me just--" He nearly tripped over one of his own paintings in his haste to get the wooden tub he used for bathing. Ezio sighed as he watched his normally graceful friend stumble about. Normally he would have gone to one of the bathhouses to perform this task, but he had to wash his clothes as well, and the bathhouses were usually full of different people - some who were guards. The last thing he needed was to be caught while he was bathing. Hence, Leonardo's house.

"Ezio! The bath is drawn; go ahead and toss your clothes in a pile and I'll get them clean while you're washing up."

Ah, and there were the words he wanted to hear!

Later, once his clothes and body had been scrubbed clean of the... filth, Ezio thanked Leonardo profusely for his help. As he was heading out the window, he turned back when Leonardo called him.

"Ezio?"
"Yes my friend?"
"Try to avoid the haystacks stacked higher than most in the future. There's a reason they're like that."
"I'm aware. I was mid-air when I was hit with the realization of what lay inside. I assure you, I'll be sticking to the petal carts for quite some time."

And then the assassin was gone, leaving Leonardo with his mouth open and the words "The petal carts aren't really any better" on his tongue. Oh well. Ezio would come back soon enough.

Re: Beware the Haystacks 1/1

[(Anonymous)]

OP here.
Oh my god.
Thats so fabulous. I am wrought with giggles for the poor boy.

Leonardo's going to have to invent a good water heater for the poor thing.
Great job!

Re: Beware the Haystacks 1/1

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my dear god, random anon is giggle-snorting like a crazy person. You are friggin amazing!

Re: Beware the Haystacks 1/1

[(Anonymous)]

Heh, nice little story! :D

Just thought I'd mention - the pink carts don't contain flower petals, they're leaves (like autumn leaves).