Well, OP made the mistake of reading this hilarity while drinking coffee. It is... remarkably painful to remove coffee from one's nose, let me tell you that. Also, I may have woken up everyone on the block with banshee-simulating screaming when I saw you updated.

Wonderful part, as always! Volpe's mental dialogue is utterly brilliant, although one should think that poor Leonardo should be developing a resistance towards the Devil's Drink by now. Also, can I just say that I love the half-implied things you leave sprinkled around? Because I do.