Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed

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Assassin's Creed Kink Meme
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Welcome to the Animus 2.5

✠ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

✠ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

✠ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

✠ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

✠ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

✠ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

✠ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
(Livejorunal) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive <- Currently active
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
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Discussion

Comments

fluff+humor: Altair/Ezio

[(Anonymous)]

"May the best man win."

au, fluff, romance, humor

Who would win 17 yr old. Ezio's heart? Being the toast of Florence, Ezio is widely sought to become a consort. Federico was tasked to protect Ezio's honor, scaring potential perverts er suitors away. Ezio on the other hand had a huge crush on Syrian noble: Altair, who is also eyeing him. Until Cesare came to the picture and wanted Ezio for himself. But Federico would not have that~ and warned Altair to hurry or Ezio will end up with Cesare.

OP request a fluffy romance between Altair and Ezio, an over protective Federico and some funny encounters with Ezio's suitors.

Si~!!! Will fill!!!

[(Anonymous)]

All I can say is that I can TOTALLY see Ezio running through the streets with platinum security. XD

^_^ I'll extremely fill this, OP. Just let me stop laughing. >:D

Re: Si~!!! Will fill!!!

[(Anonymous)]

OP here wanna says ~ Gratzie WriterAnon. Too many dark and angsty Altair/Ezio prompts I saw here. So OP hopes to read a more fluffy and fun prompt for a change.
Add Federico to the mix and riot ensues. Being an over bearing and protective brother he is. X3

Re: fluff+humor: Altair/Ezio

[(Anonymous)]

Oooh I can´t wait to read this! There aren´t enough Altair/Ezio fics out there xD

Re: fluff+humor: Altair/Ezio

[(Anonymous)]

I hope writeranon will fill this prompt soon. Anon here is starving for Altair/Ezio really bad. Most AltEz prompts remained unfilled. *sniffles*

Proximity [1/?]

[(Anonymous)]

Okaayyy .... and the journey begins ... LOLOLOL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are they gone?" Ezio breathlessly whispered.

Slowly, Federico peeked around the corner, a large pitchfork still in his hand, as he nodded in confirmation and stepped out of the cover of shadows. "Si—they're gone." He tossed the weapon to the floor. "Aye, the entire lot of those bastardi."

"Thank God."

Ushering his younger brother to go on ahead, in case a random idiota started a grope-fest, the oldest Auditore quickly scanned his surroundings before he hopped onto the nearby roof of the barn in an efficient manner, already spotting a familiar silhouette amongst a backdrop of the rising sun. He jogged over to the sitting male and plopped down beside him, not before playfully punching the other on the shoulder, while he settled his arm on his knee. Through the haze of the morning mist, he could spot the outline of their current location, a small farm he had purchased from a farmer as a getaway, and perhaps it was the wet chill that coerced Ezio to shake his head.

"I cannot believe they found us. I thought that we were safe."

The older of the two raked his hand through his hair. "No. Though I am a bit frustrated at the fact that they managed to find us, I am not surprised in the least; especially at the Duca di Milano's visit." A haphazard throw of rubble into the pond below. "We are just lucky that Rosa and her amici decided to drop by Romagna. Else …"

Both of them shivered, the exasperated noble laughing at the anarchy of it all, to be joined by Federico, as they chuckled and impishly pushed at each other. Crying out when he nearly fell, Ezio tackled Federico into a massive crate of hay with fake indignation, hitching his legs around Federico's sans mercy, the boys rolling in the mass to the sound of an insistent rooster and the chime of a church bell. It was solely when the youth straddled his counterpart's stomach that he was able to speak, narrowing his eyes in an expectant manner.

"I thought you were protecting me, fratello."

"Oh, I do." He reached up and brought an amused face close to his own, snagging his fingers into thick hair. "From them: Not from me."

"Aye, aye." Lazily, the tired noble got up from his position and clambered over to the side of the wooden box, resting his back on the gnarled surface. "I do not know whether I should be more scared of you or the horde."

A devious smile. "You might want to pay more attention to me. I deserve it."

Continuation of Proximity [1/?]

[(Anonymous)]

Oopps. I meant to do parts of chapters, but I forgot. Anyway, here's the next part.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Incriminating yourself?"

"Hardly."

Federico slid over to his brother's side and huffed exaggeratedly. "Well, that was quite a day." Pause. "Or should I say, night."

The second eldest Auditore rubbed his temples before he carelessly tied his hair once more, lightly kicking said being on the calf, as he dropped his head to the back of his hands and scrunched his locks. They were both weary, but the endless battle of warding off the incredible offenders were taking much more of a toll on him, since he had never been pursued in such an intimidating fashion, much less know how to handle a congregation of rulers who pounced at the opportunity. Such wordplays were beginning to blend into reality, as he lolled his head over to the older man's shoulder and butted him on the chin.

"You know, I am sorry."

An arched brow. "About what?"

"This … this … this entire ordeal; I know that your agenda with the Medici bank was full, but I have to say: If you were not willing to provide aid, I would have … "

The latter part was obvious.

"Che." A smirk. "How do you know I was not doing it for a raise? With all of these Milanese ladies visiting, it would be apparent that I would appeal to padre for some extra florins."

"Because. What type of cretino sneaks in that surplus into his younger brother's savings, hm?"

A sly gaze studied the curve of Ezio's lips, soon sliding upwards to welcome the approaching down. "That reminds me: Let us use this facility while it lasts."

Ezio cocked his head in question.

"I think I see something approaching in the distance."

The complexity of a muted groan.

"Here we go again."

*OP here*

[(Anonymous)]

Yey, OP is currently weeping in joy. This is just what I need for a Monday morning~Oi, these two are so heartbreakingly adorable. Poor Ezio he seemed so out of breath, Federico with a pitchfork is a real winner. Their banter is so typical Auditore charms, *sighs dreamily* Fangirl here is anticipating the next updates, Altair has yet to make an appearance but fill is soo tasty already. Grazie writeranon.

Writer!anon here

[(Anonymous)]

Glad to see that not-so-anon OP (haha XD) likes the fic. I also needed something for a Monday morning, and lo and behold, Fed with a pitchfork.

^_^ Altair's gonna have a pretty hard time ...

Proximity (1/3) of [2/?]

[(Anonymous)]

Federico froze mid-step.

"Federico?"

" … Si?"

A pause. "Che diavolo stai facendo?"

Slowly, contorting his face before plastering on a languidly amused expression, the eldest Auditore turned around as naturally as he could and grinned, leaning against the wall. "Yes … what am I doing?" He strode over to the other's bed and parted the curtains, revealing a very weary and confused Ezio, who tried to look nonchalant in all his sleep-mussed, puffy-eyed, and dumbfounded glory. "Well … I … you did not close the blinds," continued Federico, briskly walking up to said objects to shield the both of them from Lady Moonlight. "You would get sick—aye, just the thought of my fratello carino ill! It breaks my heart."

"Fottiti." Ezio threw one of his pillows at the smiling figure. "As if I could believe that stronzata. What in God's name were you doing?"

Merda.

Time to retreat.

Nervous chuckles. "So, since I finished secretly staring at your baby face for the night, I will just return to my quarters, yes?"

"Oh, no, you do not."

"Of course." If he could just move his legs a little faster without making himself more obvious. "Buonanotte, Messer Ezio."

"Get back here!"

"I am sorry! It seems that I am awfully tired!" He bolted the incredulous male's door. "Perhaps, in the morning?"

A thud of multiple objects in the place where he previously stood a few seconds ago. "Federico!"

"I cannot hear you!"

Sans a hitch in his rapid stride, Federico descended the steps and made his way to his chamber, closing the door in a clandestine manner that complimented a fast glance behind him. He shucked his doublet and made quick work of his boots, as he lit a candle and raked his fingers through his hair, and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. The room was bathed in silence, as he expected, like the outside world—the society he left as soon as he climbed back into the villa, using Ezio's open window.

Much like his own.

"You may come in."

No second to spare before four pairs of boots softly thudded onto his carpet, the same with knees and heads bent in complete submission. Federico took the time to fully assess the pristine uniform and air of the others, their white hoods gently billowing in the summer breeze, allowing the lack of words to serve as their show of total reverence. When he finally stepped near the last being, he gave them the signal to be at ease and made his way over to the food-laden table, not nescient in knowing that the quartet was more than exhausted, judging by the guttural sighs and shifting.

"I see that you have all returned."

In chorus: "Si, Maestro Auditore."

"However …" He took a tiny sip of wine to go with a slice of cheese. "Where is Nicodéme?"

Proximity (2/3) of [2/?]

[(Anonymous)]

Hesitantly, as if Federico could not notice that passing action, three of them looked at the tallest, who presumed the leadership role and instinctively executed another perfect bow. "We do not know, insegnante."

"Oh? Is that why you are somewhat … out of breath?"

Nods all around.

"Signore?"

"Speak at will, Isabella."

The youngest of them tentatively clutched at her arm, wincing when her companions reprimanded her in quietness by a subtle downwards flicker of their eyes. "W-Well, Nico—no, I mean … ah … Nicodéme told me that he heard of this rumor."

"Rumor?"

"S-S-Si: Apparently, there will be a riot somewhere in Firenze because of Messere Ezio."

Great Alarm. "Che?"

"I-I do not know when, nor do I know where, but … that is the reason why he is not here—there is the suspicion that it would happen near the marketplace, probably in the early morning."

"Merda …Those bastardi knew my brother would go to that region to woo Cristina" Nonplussed and awkwardly waiting, the four assassins stood as rigid as they could, attempting to cover up their unease, as their leader haphazardly tossed his fork down onto the china plate and settled both hands on the wooden surface: It was clear that there was to be a change of tactics. "We would have to alter our steps. Ezio already begins to suspect my movements in addition to padre's; and it is not yet time for him to know of these things."

A voice spoke up.

"If I may?"

"Go ahead."

Alejandro, the most cunning of the band, minutely displayed his obeisance, speaking in a curt fashion right after. "I would like to give our report first before further plans are created: Doing so may eliminate unnecessary actions."

"I agree."

Continuing, "We have discovered several carrier pigeons near the Piazza San Marco, delivering several letters to the doge of Venezia—which, indubitably, talk about … well, let us say, the aesthetic values of your brother. I truly hope that this does not offend, but we were not surprised in the least to see such foul diction, or the event itself. The thing that caught us off guard was a carefully organized set of couriers that were waiting for the messages."

Hushed shuffling.

"They were very similar to us—trained in combat, alert, experts in the blade; it was as if we were facing multiple maestri."

Proximity (3/3) of [2/?]

[(Anonymous)]

" … I see; did you intercept them?"

The silence was stifling.

"No, Maestro Auditore, we could not."

Cursing to himself, Federico pushed back loose locks and began to reach for the top of his garb, one hand sufficient enough to undo silk ties and buttons; while he undressed, he motioned for Stefano, the stern record keeper, to elaborate on the event—now, not only was there the obnoxious problem of ridding the lecherous swine, but a new possible factor came into play: There was no way to tell if the enigmatic group was there for political means or to gain power and eliminate competition. Did they have a master? Was it a coalition? And why did they not attack his apprentices? Endless questions, too little answers, and they were to still adjust their strategies.

Enough of this. "I want you all to form a perimeter around the market plaza, based the size of the crowds—make sure all of you keep an eye on the monks: They tend to dress as commoners, exploiting their proximity to get closer to my brother; if any of you are to spot Nicodéme, tell him to report to me immediately. Are there any other issues we must address?"

"None, insegnante," they all replied in unison. "So it is that your commands will be set in stone."

"Then, you are all dismissed."

He watched his pupils take their leave, leaping out onto his balcony before falling into the conveniently placed haystack below. When all that was left was the erratic chirpings of bugs and lazy gales, he shut the windows and pushed the heavy curtains to obscure the illumination, making his way drowsily to the bed and plopping carelessly on the warm covers.

All this work, he amusedly contemplated, to protect that little rascal—aye, he definitely was going too soft, like Paola said. Maybe he should play the blind fool? Let him do as he likes? Go back to Romagna?

Those were the last thoughts that led Federico into a deep sleep.

~OP here~

[(Anonymous)]

*squeals in delight*

Yeeeey, you updated, you updated. Thank you so much writeranon. I LOVE YOU, it's getting better especially having Federico as a Maestro or Master Assassin. Does that mean Ezio's charm reached Venezia? And does Altair seemingly makes his presence felt? Oh my, thanks so much for the lovely update dearest.

Re: Proximity (3/3) of [2/?]

[(Anonymous)]

HOLY SHIT this is great! I'm loving Federico's over-protectiveness and Ezio seems so adorable here. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE ITTTT

Proximity (1/4) of [3/?]

[(Anonymous)]

"How was your trip, boys?"

Turning around at the familiar voice, the two grinned boyishly at Claudia, who simply arched an elegant brow and planted her hands on her hips. They strode over in a languid fashion and gave her the customary kisses, one on the forehead, two on the nose, three on the cheeks, and stepped back with a hint of hidden mischief, the glints of amusement making their sister all the more suspicious. It was inevitable that the expectant female prodded at their passing glances, tilting her chin upwards to seem much like Mamá Auditore.

Federico spoke first. "Our little 'retreat'?" A quick look at the younger. "We, ah … it was exciting."

"Si, very 'exciting'," Ezio knowingly added, establishing another sly connection with the older. "A lot of adventure—battling ugly ogres who were after our hides."

Which was completely true.

Not that Claudia knew any better. "Right, boy-talk." A sigh. "Anyhow, when did you guys get back? Our tata never gave me word about your return." She childishly pouted, eradicating the stern aura that she tried to emit, and picked up the bundle of wild roses and honeysuckles, her path a small circuit around the central garden while she placed said flowers into decorative vases. "You guys never tell me anything."

"Aye, aye, Claudia—you know how much we love you: It is just that you were asleep by the time we went to our respective quarters, and we did not want to wake you; si, Messere Ezio?" Perhaps, he should not have been surprised at his brother's devious look at a voluptuous noblewoman, who seductively gave an inviting wink and sashayed her hips, as she walked by; he hoped the minute slap on the other's buttocks, behind their backs, woke up the inattentive fool. "Yes?"

Answering, in complete haste, as if he had been battered silly, "O-Of course." Prominent death threats at the smirking Federico. "The city was bathed in silence."

"Oh … I guess it could not have been helped, then. But the next time, you all must tell me."

"No avere dubbi."

"I better not have; but still, my wariness still exists due to those impish facets—what is going on?"

"Federico," Ezio complacently answered, "will show me the Medici faction he works for."

" … really?"

Rapid arches at the lie, Federico subtly pushed the other's shoulder and decided to play along—God, if anyone found out! "One of the maestri allowed me to bring this little apprentice to my workplace—says padre will have a much easier time getting him accustomed to such difficult labor."

Proximity (2/4) of [3/?]

[(Anonymous)]

"Huh." It was so obvious Claudia did not buy it one bit. "You boys have fun." Better to dismiss her presence in a possible outbreak of horror than be part of it.

"As always."

The males exited the garden calmly, soon disposing of the careful gait, as they broke off into a fast run and attempted to best each other in speed and skill, leaping over railings and zooming past angry archers. Sans words, they wove in and out of the city, Federico careful to run in less used alleys for the sake of avoiding potential offenders, and Ezio scudding right beside him—lord knew that the route they were taking was not one that lead to the Medici bank, but of a villa belonging to a particular lover of Ezio: And judging by the grin that got wider and wider, as the two neared the familiar sight of broad spruce beams and stucco walls, his little brother was more than happy to indulge in his earlier lie.

Quite a lot, in fact.

"I do not think that I am capable of being surprised anymore," Federico amusedly stated, shaking his head at said being, who went into the hidden passageway first. "One day, you will get a whipping when discovered."

A look back. "That is why I will not get caught—I will just let you take the blame."

"Whatever you say."

Post cursing and squeezing through the crack in the wall, both managed to somehow get into the back of the restricted area, running swiftly in the shadows under the jutted rooms above. The oldest sat back in observation, wishing they were actually back home, while the younger gathered a bunch of small pebbles and stepped into the light in order to be at the right angle—five seconds, a huff, and then, the crisp clacks of stone on glass rang in the garden, surely greeted by the creaking of a window.

And the flushed face of a certain Vespucci.

"Oh, Ezio!"

"Buongiorno, caro mio."

How he silently gagged in the darkness.

"Can I come in?"

" … I do not know: The girls and I are sewing; and padre …" Federico could imagine the troubled expression on the noblewoman's face. "He was very mad last week when I was late to my art classes because of someone."

Proximity (3/4) of [3/?]

[(Anonymous)]

"Well, I will be quick."

Innuendos, innuendos. "I bet."

The signal was given.

"Come on, fratello," Ezio beckoned, already making his way up a box of wine crates. "She has consented."

"What do you mean 'come on'? Obviously, the card has been handed to you, not me."

"Did you not hear her or see that look? Her amici seem more than willing to greet the Auditore brothers."

"Really, now?"

A huff. "Do not be such an old man, idiota—lest your pene decided to shrivel up at such an age."

"That hurts, after all I have done for thou." Smile and wave, those were the sole answers. "I shall take my leave—the Medici calls."

The disappointed figure leapt off the stack of empty boxes and made his way over to the other, slanting his gaze at the questioning grin before he crossed his arms over his chest. "Is that another piece of stronzata, or are you honestly serious?"

"Aye, once more, an arrow pierces my heart."

"Since when did you ever turn down an offer such as thi—"

Silence.

"Wait."

Analytically, Ezio made a small circle around his companion, looking ever the great erudite, as he rubbed at his chin in an absentminded style, determined to figure out the key to the enigma. Federico merely smiled and, seeing as that a pout was forming on his face, reached out and tweaked the younger male's cheek. Maybe, it was safe to say that the simple quirk of his lips was what brought out the preposterous.

"Oh, you diavolo scaltro—I see how it is; and you say that I am no better than you?"

"Che?"

A dignified chuckle. "So, you are depositing your interest at another vault?"

If Federico was not putting a harlequin to shame, he would have had quite a heart attack at the naughty wings the nobleman sprouted—to think that his fratello carino could think of such a thing! Why, just when he thought innocence captured the essence of the soul!

Proximity (4/4) of [3/?]

[(Anonymous)]

"Ezio? Ezio?"

"I am coming, Cristina!"

Best to play along with it; no point in attempting to argue when there was that saucy glint in those orbs. "She would be so upset with that hurried phrase."

A scoff. "Vaffanculo." And then some. "See? You cannot hide anything from me, brother."

"So it seems I am unable to."

"Well, I guess I will just leave you to your calculations."

Ezio gave a haphazard wave, running up the wall, only to jump to the left and grab onto the ledge of an ornate balcony; leaping onto a higher rafter in order to grab onto an inviting lamppost, said being maneuvered over to the right and clambered onto a slab of decorative stone near his destination, glancing back and giving a provocative smirk, as he held onto the windowsill.

"Let me tell you though: In the end, my profits will be much higher than yours!"

Shaking his head as he gave a final chortle, Federico dropped the face-splitting grin and sighed, rubbing wearily at his eyes while he saw to it that Ezio safely made his way inside the opening. He unbuttoned the top part of his shirt and divested himself of his vest, also pulling his silk tie loose, his gait taking him over to a secluded corner of the premises with a heaviness that boasted of total exhaustion. Slowly, he leaned his head against the cool surface of polished granite and raked his hand through his hair, propping one knee up as a base for an arm to settle on, teasing winds calming the intensity of the afternoon sun. It seemed, drowsiness coercing the drooping of his lids, his 'arithmetics' would have to wait until the little rascal had had enough play.

But maybe a little nap would not hurt …

Proximity (1/3) of [4/?]

[(Anonymous)]

"Why are we going this way?"

Smiling fondly, Federico ushered his brother to the right side of the road, settling his hand onto the other's back as he guided him through the packed market square. "Just because."

A tick. "We are going through at the busiest time of the day? What is this, some type of joke?"

"Only for you."

"I guess I will come along—granted, you do not pull some obnoxious prank near the nuns."

"What makes you think I would ever do that?"

"Aye, maron: Get moving."

They continued their light banter while beginning their exit from the plaza, lightly pushing at each other's shoulders and laughing at the obnoxious sights, their snarky chuckles soon morphing into appreciative reactions at the passing noblewomen and courtesans. Tossing florins at the merchants, and then some, Federico indulged his brother in food, clothes, wine, and whatever caught his fancy, his arms now starting to be loaded with bags and boxes while Ezio walked freely and chattered. If he was not already scoffing at the latter's puppy face to get to go to the nearby brothel, he was greeting their neighbors and friends as his charge wandered the area in utter boredom. He was lucky the younger male did not run off to an unknown crowd or lover—it would be hell to drag him back, especially with that pout of his: Never mind the fact that padre was expecting them not to cause a ruckus—

Suddenly, a small familiar shadow flickered in his peripheral vision.

Federico slightly tensed.

And stilled.

"Ezio, to the left."

So, it had begun.

"Why?" the other childishly questioned, turning around as he crossed his arms against his chest. "You said that you would take me across the Arno today."

"I—"

A frown. "You promised."

"…well …" He hesitated.

"All right—but just until the fourth bell rings."

"Va bene, I guess that will be adequate for now."

Federico raised his guard while they maneuvered to the river, quickly darting his eyes in every direction under the pretense of languid indifference, his fight-or-flight mentality ready to do whatever impossibility that would stand in his way. It was a good thing that Ezio did not notice the subtle change, currently amused by a pair of giggling milkmaids, for if that was so, there would be no doubt that he would miss another presence that rapidly disappeared behind him. Surely, he reduced the distance from the nobleman and grinned when he bumped a box of fine riding boots into his back, noting the halfhearted scowl as well as the hovering form that maintained an enigmatic presence—and the unmistakable grunts and yelps of the nearby folks was unmistakable.

It seemed that more imbeciles came out to play.

But he was ready.

And so were his students.

Accelerating his stride, he lightly tapped at the other's calf to go towards another direction. "Over here, fratello: Let us not be wandering sheep, now."

Proximity (2/3) of [4/?]

[(Anonymous)]

"It is quicker if we go by the church."

Obstinacy ran like blood in his family—he did not know if he thought it was endearing or a great mountain to overcome. "Well …" What to do, what to say! Especially now that he caught Isabella tackle down another smitten monk: The uproar was getting closer …

"Um … ah—I have heard," he spontaneously offered, "that along this route, a new merchant set up shop: He is known for his doublets; did you not say that you wanted some more?"

A grin. "I will buy you as many as you would like."

"But … aye, I admit—it would not hurt if I had some more; it is all on you, no?"

"Si."

"Then, hurry up. The geezer might be sleeping."

That sigh of relief was one of the best he had ever experienced, he was sure, currently looking back and nodding in confirmation at another pupil who blended into the shadows post seizing a perverted guard; his sibling's suspicion seemed to lessen, if not dissipate, and Federico treated himself to a small smile at the diminutive accomplishment—yes, it was good to play the nescient idiot who had a plethora of time to spare: such a facade would not arouse further speculation on any persons' behalf, allowing himself and his group to work under the shadows. Like now, sending a well hidden kick onto a fat slob's stomach to coerce him to back off from his brother, who obliviously promenaded ahead and greeted familiar faces and ladies. He had no idea an all-out war was happening right behind him: assassins manhandling drunken swine and lusty men, bodies rolling into the mud, shadows flickering over the light, shouts muffled by firm hands over mouths. This might have been comical if it was not for the fact that a multitude of aroused people were attempting to grab his ankles—

"Hey, Federico, I am hungry—"

Silence.

Confusion.

Narrowed eyes.

"What was that?"

Merda.

"What was what?"

Blinking, Ezio clapped one of his friends on the back in goodbye and strode towards the taller man, skepticism dangling on the curve of quirked lips. "Do not play the jester: Did you just kick a guard into the water?"

Proximity (3/3) of [4/?]

[(Anonymous)]

If he only knew. "I do not know what you are referring to."

"Federico."

"Che? I am not lying." Better pray to Saint Peter for forgiveness. "Are you sure you are not tired? Do you want to go back to the villa?"

"I know what I saw: That sentry fell off the bridge, and your leg was sticking out like a sore thumb."

"Are you sure? Because—" Oh, Lord have mercy. "—I just—" Gape. "Did you see that?"

"Huh?" Damn, he knew he should not have brought along the new recruit for this mission. "See what?"

"Somebody on the roof, he … to the archers—wait, I think I have seen him before somewhere."

Cazzo, cazzo, cazzo, cazzo—

"And why are there people on the ground? They do not look all that drunk-che cazzo stai facendo?"

Realizing that Ezio was staring at him right after he stomped his foot on a lascivious priest's extended hand, the older male innocently flashed his pearly whites and rearranged the various merchandise in his hands. "He looked like he needed help, but it seems that he borders on insanity." A nervous laugh. "Well, I guess we had better get going, right?"

"But—"

"Why, look at the time: The gondolier I contacted is almost off of his shift. Come, we must be hasty in order for us to get across, lest you wish to take a pleasant dive into the waters."

He landed one more swift punt onto a random fool's head and took the lead—play time was over, now.

And Federico knew that his original plans were of no use.

OP Here *grins*

[(Anonymous)]

Oh reminds me so much of AC: Brotherhood. I wish I had a ps3 then I can play it, but for now~ I'll be happy to settle with this epic and lovely fic. Oh my dearest Federico, my heart goes to you. At least Ezio to his credit doesn't impose on his brother too much. Still he's so adorable not knowing he's in danger.
This update is so hilarious but only Federico can do this with finesse. I hope Altair can soon provide assistance in protecting his baby brother. Thanks so much dear. More please?

Proximity (1/3) of {5/?]

[(Anonymous)]

Federico fluttered his eyes shut. "Ah, that hits the spot."

Automatically bowing his head in reverence at the compliment, Nicodéme kept his gaze low as he kneaded his master's shoulders, his nimble fingers displaying their great expertise. "Grazie, Maestro Auditore; may my performance be to your liking."

A noise of satisfaction. "Aye, it is: I wonder why I did not know you had such a skill." The eldest Auditore wearily rubbed at his eyes as he continued reading document after document of Medici files, his inked quill scratching delicately at the fine parchment of interest matters. "You are quite talented, are you not?"

The master assassin diminutively laughed at the slight coloring of his student's cheeks, the latter purposely clearing his throat while he worked even harder. "You are too kind, messere."

"In his dreams," a playful voice suddenly spoke, making the banker cock an inquisitive brow. "You are simply inflating his ego."

Magnificently, the door to the suite swung open and revealed a very flushed and enthused Ezio, who strode in and placed his hands on either side of Federico's work. "Making this poor soul go through a bout of servitude once more, fratello?"

"Hardly—that is what friends do, si?"

"This is why you do not have many."

A mockery of pain in his bosom. "Aye, the arrow to the heart; how can my little brother say such cruel things?"

"Fottiti—your friend is probably wishing he had stuck a knife in your neck."

Federico turned his head and cast his gaze onto the bemused assassin. "Nico, surely, you do not think of your amico in such a fashion?"

Oh, if all of the awkwardness did not multiply in seconds. "A-Ah … well …" Silence, and then: "N-Naturalmente, no."

"See?"

"Silenzio; he is most likely plotting your demise—you never know."

"I would rather not." Lightheartedly, said being loosened his cravat and raked his hand through his hair, curving his lips at Ezio's expectant expression—that enigmatic look he had been subjected to over the course of his life was one he could not underestimate, and sensing the urgency, he signaled his companion to halt the service. "Va bene: Care to tell me what it is that you desire?"

Innocence. "Che? Can I not visit my brother just because I want to?"

"As much as your dear sibling would like to believe that claim, he cannot, especially post exchange."

Pouting, he continued, "Lorenzo is making you into an old man."

"Now, that really hurts."

"Old man."

"Dio, spare me from this anguish."

"Old man."

"Ezio."

"Old man."

"I am too young for this."

"Old man."

"Per favore."

"Old man."

"Aye, aye: mi dispiace; indulge me."

The taste of satisfaction lit up the noble's eyes. "Truly?"

Sighs all around. "Well, I do not think I can be surprised anymore: The other times you asked me to play accomplice involved jumping out of windows, stealing Pazzi banners, setting Vieri's buttocks on fire, being smothered by signora Gugliotta's breasts, and … ah, how can I forget? Nearly getting molested by Florentine guards during Sforza's party."

Proximity (2/3) of [5/?]

[(Anonymous)]

Nicodéme was also smart in other ways—he inconspicuously backed up all the way to the rear window and jumped out: No way he would ever get caught up in the fiendish conversations of insanity.

"I do not know: You look like you enjoyed yourself when that brutish sentry patted your ass," Ezio jokingly remarked, delighted all the more at the sight of a protesting frown. "Cristina, additionally, wanted me to tell you that she thought you looked amazing in that dress."

Sardonic smiles were all he had left. "Why, grazie—you pull my patience even tighter."

"Do not be as such; it was merely a jest."

"I hope you consider it in that manner."

A wink. "Possibly."

Rolling up his sleeves, Ezio popped open the buttons of his vest and divested himself of it, sighing as he plopped down onto a nearby chair and straddled it backwards. "Anyway, about today's matter: Do you know what comes in a few days?"

"Carnevale?"

"Essattamente: Carnevale."

"Si …" Wariness. "What about it?"

"Now," he progressed, a scintillate twinkle in his eyes, "do you recall the prize for winning the grand competition?"

"Si: the golden mask."

"Yes: certo—the ticket to getting into the Frenchman's private feast."

Federico blinked.

"Do you see where I am going with this?"

Carefully, the older male assessed the situation, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he thought about the tacit in various angles—whatever amount of zeal the younger possessed must have surely been great, for a flush tinged the apples of his cheeks as he sat in practiced restraint, the implication of his impatience shown solely by the frequent tapping of his boots against the mahogany table. If Federico had not already gone under by that pleading grin of childishness, he would certainly have gone mad from the impossible standards.

Because by the time he realized the formation, it was over.

But it did not cost any to rebel: "You have got to be kidding me."

"Does it look like it?"

"Merda, you … that man is a close friend to the French king! He would swing your head under the guillotine when he finds you in bed with his daughter."

"If he finds me—which, indubitably, will not happen."

God, have mercy. "Have you looked at his militia? He probably brought enough soldiers to fill Roma five times."

"Yes, I have glimpsed at his company, and—" A shrug. "—his little princess is quite the catch."

Proximity (3/3) of [5/?]

[(Anonymous)]

"I cannot allow this to happen, Ezio."

"Federico."

"No," he quickly responded, holding up his hand sans tentativeness. "Not only is this imperiling yourself, but it will affect Firenze as a whole—the discovery will simply call for indignation, and the weak ties with Lorenzo and the ambassador will only fan the flames."

"But that is why I said that we will not get caught."

"We?"

"Of course, we."

His personal monk was going to be loaded with prayer requests this evening. "Fratello, I … this cannot happen."

"Fed!"

"It cannot."

"Dai!"

"This discussion is over—do not give me that look."

Yet, Ezio did, in all of his dismayed glory, gnawing on his bottom lip as he slumped his shoulders without a further word of discontent; he let his crestfallen disposition do the work, complimenting the troubled look in his eyes while his clenched hands slid closer to Federico's own—a shuffle, disappointment, a silent plea, and the younger Auditore hung his head as he gathered his vest and stood, getting ready to make his way over to the door.

"Aspetta."

The snare was already activated—now, if only Ezio could suppress his grin of triumph and plaster on a factor of solemnity.

"Si?"

Apprehension: "If I agree, will you promise me one thing?"

"Yes—non avere dubbi."

"Va bene: I will do what I can, though I do not even know what part you wish for me to play in this outrage."

"You shall see: I merely wished for you to agree to be by my side."

Federico shook his head as he reached up and ruffled Ezio's hair. "You little diavolo—how dare you exploit me with those pup's eyes."

"It is not exploiting—I just know how to use what I have. Aside from that, what is this term of yours?"

"Like you have stated, 'you shall see'

A laugh. "Fine, fine, do as you will; I just cannot wait to get started."

Federico rolled his eyes as Ezio playfully jumped onto his lap and punched him on the shoulder.

"Whatever you say. But first things first—an initial down payment of a massage would not hurt."