Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed

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Assassin's Creed Kink Meme
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Welcome to the Animus 2.5

✠ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

✠ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

✠ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

✠ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

✠ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

✠ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

✠ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
(Livejorunal) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive <- Currently active
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
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Discussion

Comments

All Life's A Stage [2/?]

[(Anonymous)]

"Aha! I almost didn't recognize you, Altaïr." He threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood the doll on his knees, holding it up by each of its hands, pinched between his finger tips.

"Now, tell me, what were you doing in brother's bed?" he mock interrogated the likeness of his superior and made the small shoulders shrug in response.

"You don't know? A likely story!" He gave it a light shake, thoroughly amused by the thought of treating the real Altaïr in such a disrespectful manner. Maybe that's why Malik had this doll- to vent his anger out on the man. Although he usually just did that in the sparring arena anyway.

The novelty of his discovery wore off after the first few minutes and he briefly entertained the thought of leaving the doll in Altaïr's bed for him to find when he returned. His reaction would be interesting to watch, at least. Malik would probably want to kill him if he found out that it was him that put it there, but he knew his brother would forgive him. Eventually.

Kadar slid off Malik's bed and tiptoed over to Altaïr's corner of the room cautiously, half-expecting to trigger a booby trap of some kind. Knowing Altaïr, it wasn't an entirely unfounded suspicion. When he had reached the bed unmaimed, in one piece, he plopped down on it with an exaggerated sigh of relief and quickly looked for a place to hide his surprise. Just leaving it out in the open would be no fun at all.

He lifted up the pillow, intending to stash the doll away underneath, and was surprised to find a pair of black buttons glaring back up at him almost accusingly. His jaw nearly became unhinged. He put Altaïr to the side and scooped up this new brown doll instead, noting the similar assassin robes with a sense of disbelief.

What were the odds of this? He fingered the short bits of strings on its chin, obviously made to resemble a familiar goatee, and if he had been grinning before, the look on his face was positively manic now.

All Life's A Stage [3/?]

[(Anonymous)]

"Hello, brother," he greeted cheerfully, picking the other doll back up to introduce the two. "Have you met Altaïr yet?" He made them nod their floppy heads at each other, then- with a loud snort- pretended that Altaïr was picking up the ends of his robes and curtsying. He felt incredibly silly, being a man his age and still playing make-believe with dolls, but this was way too amusing to pass up.

With a sideways glance to the door and window to make sure he wouldn't be interrupted, he wriggled down onto his stomach and stood his little actors in front of him, having had the idea of putting on a miniature play of sorts.

"Altaïr! You are insufferable!" He tried to make his voice as deep as his brother's and raised the Malik doll up to signify the speaker, waving his small arms in the air emphatically in anger.

"Silence, Malik. I am busy being brooding and enigmatic," he said next in Altaïr's typical monotone voice- although it was difficult to sound as detached as he did through his laughter.

"You are as enigmatic as horse dung!" Malik waddled over and gave Altaïr a plush slap across the face.

"It is you who are the dung!" Altaïr cried out flatly and slapped him right back in return. Unable to think of further dialogue, Kadar's drama degraded into a brawl consisting of slapping and kicks to the shin (with the occasional appropriate sound effect).

Re: All Life's A Stage [4/4]

[(Anonymous)]

"Shut up and kiss me, you stupid fool!" Malik said suddenly, simply for the pure ridiculousness of imagining Malik ever saying such a stupid thing, especially to Altaïr, of all people, and Kadar even mashed their squishy heads together with the usual immature kissing sounds to complete the image.

The door opened abruptly.

Kadar's head snapped up, his dark face paling slightly when he saw that Altaïr and Malik had finally returned- and together, for some odd reason. He glanced down at the dolls, then their owners, then back at the dolls again before dropping them like they were on the fire.

"Kadar..." Malik started slowly, looking slightly confused and disturbed. "What are you-?"

"I'm going to go study," Kadar announced suddenly, and loudly, drowning out the question as he jumped off the bed and pushed between them to escape. He stumbled slightly in his escape when Altaïr decided to stick out his leg in retribution for laying on his bed, but quickly regained his balance and fled to the library- the only safe place in the fortress where bodily harm of novices was frowned upon.

"...you need to teach that boy some manners," Altaïr grumbled quietly after a long, awkward silence and walked over to his bed. He noticed the way the dolls had fallen- with the Altaïr doll on its knees, face smashed into the covers, and the Malik doll laying over its back suggestively- and frowned at the implication. With little to no shame, he plucked the toys up and switched them around so that Malik was on the bottom, standing back to view the new position and nodding in satisfaction.

"There. Much better, don't you think, Malik?" he smirked at Malik over his shoulder, who rolled his eyes and muttered, "You are so insufferable, Altaïr."

"You love it," Altaïr goaded smugly. Malik clicked his tongue in annoyance and closed the door before swiftly crossing the gap between them. He grabbed him by the front of his robes and pulled him close, his eyes sliding shut halfway in and lips quirking into a small, playful smirk.

"Shut up and kiss me, you stupid fool."

For once, Altaïr gladly obliged.

Re: All Life's A Stage [4/4]

[(Anonymous)]

Anon, this is the most adorable thing...ever</>.

Re: All Life's A Stage [4/4]

[(Anonymous)]

This makes me want to clap my hands with glee! I think my manic, giddy grin would rival Kadar's right now, anon!

Re: All Life's A Stage [4/4]

[(Anonymous)]

This... this is one of the most satisfying things I have come across in this meme. The imagery had me in absolute tears (of joy and laughter). FUCKING BRILLIANT!

Re: All Life's A Stage [4/4]

[(Anonymous)]

XD

"Shut up and kiss me, you stupid fool." And Altair switching the dolls around! And "Silence, Malik! I am being broody and enigmatic!"

Someone needs to make this puppet show a reality.

Re: All Life's A Stage [4/4]

[(Anonymous)]

A drawfag drew a related picture on 4chan, if you feel up to the challenge of finding it.

Re: All Life's A Stage [4/4]

[(Anonymous)]

I'm grinning so hard from the cuteness this spews. The end was just lulzy!

OP HERE.

[(Anonymous)]

OH DEAR GOD.

I LOVE YOU WRITEANON.

I love you SO VERY MUCH.

Writefag Here

[(Anonymous)]

I assume that means you liked it! (>u<) <3

Re: All Life's A Stage [4/4]

[(Anonymous)]

Writeanon you are amazing. I had the biggest grin on my face the entire way through XD

Re: All Life's A Stage [4/4]

[(Anonymous)]

THIS
IS SO BOSS
THAT IT HURTS.
WELL DONE, BRO.