Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt.2

[asscreedkinkmeme]

Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.2
Fill Only

Welcome to the Brotherhood

∆ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

∆ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

∆ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

∆ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

∆ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

∆ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

∆ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
(Livejorunal) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive <- Currently active
Part 1
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Fills Only
Discussion

Comments

Dirty Graffiti

[(Anonymous)]

I was bored at work and stumbled upon some hilarious Roman grafitti that modern historians have found. This takes the cake though and I would love to see what sort of fic that would inspire:

"Weep, you girls.  My penis has given you up.  Now it penetrates men’s behinds.  Goodbye, wondrous femininity!"

Interpret that how you may...

Re: Dirty Graffiti

[(Anonymous)]

oh god, this made me laugh, i second this

Re: Dirty Graffiti

[(Anonymous)]

I am laughing uncontrollably. That is a masterpiece.

Re: Dirty Graffiti

[(Anonymous)]

Write!anon is messing with your prompt a bit and changing the grafitti from Roman to Arabic. =P
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Altair snickered from his hiding spot within a haystack on the roof at hearing the gasps and indignant cries coming from the street below.

"That is disgusting!"

"Kids, hurry along, don't pay attention to that writing..."

"Stupid sodomites, first they take all the good men and now they filthy our walls with their grafitti as well..."

He peeked out, observing the crowd that had gathered around his little bout of vandilism and rebellion. Many men, women and children were gathered around the quickly done scrawl of now dry ink that said ",Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men's behinsd. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!"

He'd remembered some of the novices doing this, painting on the walls of buildings with well drawn words. They'd apparently done it for 'fun', so he decided to see if this fun could be of some use. Plus, the questioning look on Malik's face when he walked out of Jerusalem's bereau with a big pot of ink was rather amusing.

Unfortunately, when someone called the guards over, he quickly decided it was of no use and could be counterproductive. Fuck.

"Who did this? Come out!"

Altair ducked his head back into the haystack and slowed his breathing so it wouldn't shift so much.

'Damnit. I should've gotten back to the bereau when I had the chance...'

He tried waiting for the guards to go away; he waited and waited... and waited... and then finally decided those fuckers weren't going away. He'd been there a solid hour with them yelling ",Come out!" before he finally decided to try and sneak out into the next street over. He backed up slowly out of the haystack, staying on his knees until dropping to the street below...

...right in the middle of a group of guards accompanied by a Templar.

"Assassin! Get him!"

Instead of wasting his time fighting, he did the smart thing when surrounded by 6 enemies with more coming: he ran.

He raced through the streets of Jerusalem, dodging citizens and guards as need be. He ducked into another haystack just before he got to the bereau and waited there for a moment. After all, if he were to compromise the brotherhood again, there was no doubt that Malik would have his head. Or arm, whichever fate decided to amuse itself with.

However, the glare he recieved the moment he dropped into the bereau told him he was in trouble already.

"So, I heard no news of the assassination you were supposed to have done today,"

He had an assassination to do? He hadn't been told of this!

",and if you say you weren't told of this, you're wrong; you were told, but you were most likely too drunk to remember recieving the assignment."

He was drunk? When?

"Then I hear news that you have decided to vandilate the city with such vulgar grafitti! Novice, what in the name of Allah were you thinking?! You go lay down on those cushions and don't you dare get up until another opportunity to kill the target has arisen."

"You aren't my mother, Malik, so don't think you can order me around."

The glare he recieved made him decide otherwise. With a grumble, he plopped down into the cushions on the bereau floor. Malik walked back into the bereau with fist still clenched and continued to glare at him throughout the night.

"And Novice, one more thing! If you have any dreams of 'penetrating men's behinds', make sure that man isn't me, or I'll have you castrated!"

Too bad for Malik that was exactly the dream Altair had that night and Altair looked at him smugly the next day since Malik was none the wiser.
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Fail write anon is fail. D: I tried to make it cracky but I obviously... failed.