asscreedkinkmeme | Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt.3

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assassin's creed

Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt.3

Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.3
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Get out of my bureau!

☃ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

☃ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

☃ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

☃ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

☃ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

☃ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

☃ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
(Livejorunal) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive <- Currently active
Part 1
Part 2
Part 4
Part 5
Fills Only
Discussion

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I have a cat like that... But he runs into glass doors a lot soo...

This is great.

I need this in my life so much, holy fucking shit.

asdfghfds I cannot wait for the Altair!Heartbreak to grow ffffffffff-

That was beautiful, anon. ;u;

XDDDDD OMG, I LOVE BOOGIEPOP!!! OP you have an awesome idea here and this needs to happen! Someone please write this!

And it makes sense too! Echoes maybe is one of Those Who Came Before, returning to Earth to assess whether humans are worth saving? XD Ooh! Ooh! Maybe Ezio was a host for Altair from an earlier time too?? XDDD

I wish I could actually write this for you, OP! ;A; All those ideas are all I could offer!

So... um... yeah...
Takes place just after you first meet the Assassin crew...
~*~*~
"Where's the kitchen in this joint?" Desmond asked. It was 4 pm, and he hadn't eaten since breakfast. He was starving.

"Downstairs, thee doorway to the right of the stairs," Rebecca said. "Grabbing a snack? Bring me something too!"

When Desmond got to said kitchen, though, he was dismayed by its contents. Nothing but Kraft Dinner, Chef Boyardee, and other pre-made food.

There wasn't even ground beef. He had been living on the run and still had ground beef. This was unacceptable.

Rummaging through the cupboards, he found sugar and peanut butter. Better than nothing.

The fridge had some eggs, and they were still good.

A quick glance at the peanut butter to confirm the recipe and he got to work.

It didn't take Rebecca long to become curious and hunt him down. She found him with his sleeves rolled up, up to his wrists in cookie dough.

"Really Desmond, your hands?" was all she said as the attempted to snap some batter.

"Well if the hideout had beaters, I would be using them," Desmond said as he blocked her. "Make yourself useful - try to find Chipits."

"Some what?"

"Chocolate chips. Or peanut butter chips, but I doubt you'll have those, considering the sad state of this kitchen."

"Who died and made you kitchen guru?"

"Do you want cookies?"

"Shutting up."

Desmond was right in doubting the existence of chocolate chips, or any kind of chips besides the potato kind. Unfortunately, they would have to do without. Good thing that the hideout actually had milk.

After about five minutes of the cookies being in the oven, Lucy came down to check up on them. She found Rebecca and Desmond sharing stories about being raised as assassins. She stayed to listen in. It had nothing to do with the scent of cookies that was slowly filling the room.

"Is anybody here planning on doing some actual work today?" Shaun asked as he entered the kitchen. The cookies had just finished, and Desmond was trying to find oven mitts.

Even Shaun shut up for a moment when the cookies were finally ready to eat.

The vote was unanimous. No one was allowed to touch the kitchen but Desmond. Ever.
~*~*~
I just see the assassins like starving college students - they don't care what they eat, as long as it's somewhat edible.
Desmond does not approve.
It ain't a cake, or even muffins, but it's baking.

Those cookies exist. They're on the Kraft Peanut Butter label.

Sorry. My mind lives in the gutter. It never leaves.

Wait. I lied. My mind has a nice little cottage somewhere between Crazy and Obsession it visits on weekends...

So, non gutter option...

Would freaking the fuck out count? Cause I would have one hell of a spaz attack, and probably hurt myself in the process.

I love it! *wants cookies now* I really like that Desmond can cook. We're all so mean to him in the "not having any l33t skillz unless they came from an ancestor dept." *totally guilty of that*

...When I saw the title for the fic, I thought someone had picked up my Portal crossover prompt. T_T While the fact that it wasn't made me sad, the cute fill more than made up for it. :D

Not op but... um...
Please?
Because, you know, for a hooker AU, not much smexy tiems...

Not that it isn't wonderful as is...

XD You're as bad as I am at expanding on prompts. Don't worry about the added ideas, I like 'em! These plot!bunnies are actually cute, and I hope that I can find them a good home. *places bunnies in hutch with others*

Hmmm....now I have an idea that Subject 16 is Echoes. Echoes did have a speech impairment after all, though it was only to parrot back what people said. And Ezio would have to be older than Desmond for it to work that Altair also possessed him. But most people on the site have made him into a brother, cousin, and even Des' father, so that could work.

M'kay, people have heard of Ubi stating that Ezio and Altair aren't related. And people are flailing over this. I've never been one to completely follow canon anyway, so while it irritates me, it isn't a big deal. Just one more plot point that I can play with. Des is related to both, and that's actually all that matters to me.

But I just got a cracky idea from this wonderful tidbit that Ubi graced us with.

Des either suffers from seeing his ancestors through the Bleeding Effect, or the modern crew finds immortal!Altair and immortal!Ezio, doesn't matter which. As Desmond begins to grow in skill as an assassin, and being all badass in his own way, Altair and Ezio begin to each take credit for Des being all awesome. Cue the fighting and snarling, with Des in the corner trying to ignore his crazy ancestors. (If you go the immortal AU route, maybe the two brag separately to Lucy/Shaun/Rebecca and the fights start that way after hearing the info being discussed by the three? IDEK.)

Be as cracky as you want, or as serious as you can make it. Pick your poison and make me laugh!

Sorry to disappoint on the Portal fill (need to play that game. Like, now. What platforms does it come on?) but glad the cuteness made up for it.

Yeah. Due to this prompt, my head!cannon Desmond is now a semi-decent cook. And he stress-bakes. Desmond's not the only one who's going to get fat... *stares at Shaun sneaking an extra cookie*

*the

Damn it. The consequence of typing this thing in the comment box...

I call bullshit on them.

Case and point, copied (with only editing to add emphasis) from the AC wikia on Domenico Auditore, the founder of the Auditore family:

"Dante then showed him the Codex written by Domenico's ancestor Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad, which Marco Polo had acquired whilst visiting the court of Kublai Khan.[1]"

Though the prompt does amuse me. So I will second it. I just don't like the idea of them being canon!not-related... MY HEAD CANNON WILL NEVER CHANGE!!! DX

ooh man authoranon. after that tantrum comment I thought for sure this was headed for spanking territory but a sparring leads to makeouts is fine too~~

also yes plz another sesssion. need need need. they simply have to fuck, that's all there is to it. altair said he was gonna come back right? right? D8

Ubi is as bad with their canon as George Lucas is with Star Wars. (I hope people understand that I was being sarcastic with the "wonderful" comment. The Internetz likes to fuck with sarcasm when you don't want it to. *worries*)

I'm glad that you find it amusing! I had an image of the two wrestling around on the ground, all snarly like cats. I had to share it with the meme! XD

I love my head canon. *snuggles muses* I'll definitely going keep the direct line as a main head canon myself, but I have no qualms about using the not related one too. *shrugs* Like I said, it's just another piece to potentially play with.

The first Portal game came in the Orange Box on PC, PS3 and X360. I think that Steam also has the game by itself for around $10.

Portal 2 is available as a single game for PC, PS3, and X360. It's also listed on Steam for around $50. Also, the servers for the PC and PS3 can link up. So anybody you know on either system will be able to play you on multiplayer, provided you have either one of those systems yourself. X360 is all by itself, so you'll only be allowed on the Xbox servers. (Why a computer software company can't link with the PC servers I'll never understand. *facepalm* Not that I'm biased or anything....)

I don't know how Steam works, though. Don't use it myself. I think it's a way to download the game through the internet??

Please by all means do fill <3

THIS

THIS. is absolutely true anon. Belly-dancing was kinda first priority this round, and I feel my sex scenes still need a lot of work and I thought I could slither out of it lol. But um. Lack of smexy tiems should be remedied. Hard. So I will work on that :>

Oh God, this is like in-laws fighting. I APPROVE!

Now that Ezio and Altair are no longer related I DEMAND LOTS OF SEX FROM THOSE OF YOU WHO OBJECT ON GROUNDS OF "EW".

Or you know, any Ezio/Altair bones you can throw this OP, my lovelies. It can be anything so long as it's not AU. Just keep it in universe.

Thanks :)

...I don't see mine :(

Anon, are you me? I was just thinking that I needed this kind of prompt in my life.

GimmieGimmieGimme

I do not know either of you anons but you both have exquisite tastes.

Anon, you have captured my interest. I'd love to see where someone could go with this.

Seconded!

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Page 156 of 322

Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt.3

Re: OP!Anon: Reply

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Re: Twice the Love, Twice the Problems [6b/?]

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The Cake is a Lie, but come try my cookies...

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OP: Boogiepop

From my Side of the Family

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OP

writeanon

Re: From my Side of the Family

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE!

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