Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 6

[asscreedkinkmeme]

Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.6
Open

Sky World

≈ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

≈ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

≈ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

≈ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

≈ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

≈ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

≈ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
Kink Meme Masterlist
New Kink Meme Masterlist
(Livejorunal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
#2 (Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive
#3 (Delicious.com) Archive <-- Currently active
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Fills Only
Discussion

Comments

Re: CRACKTASTIC

[(Anonymous)]

Had to try this for myself, and now OP has my eternal love and devotion!

********

The Miracle Of The Unicorn

Desmond hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like an angry Rebecca whose TiVo has been prematurely erased. He loathed it.

Every December, Desmond would feel himself getting all naughty inside. He refused to put up a Christmas plushie, he snapped at anyone fabulous enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Desmond had to go to the mall to buy a startling pillow. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing eagerly around and so much Christmas music blaring tempestuously, he thought his eye would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a titanic man collecting for charity. Desmond never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the titanic man dropped his bells and ran with a panda. There was a devilish unicorn right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the titanic man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Desmond rushed out and laboriously pushed them both out of the way. There was a overwhelming bang and then everything went dark.

When Desmond woke up, he was in a bewildering room. There was a Christmas plushie in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Desmond's navel hurt. A lot.

The titanic man came into the room. "I'm so luminous!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Shaun. You saved me from the truck. But your navel is broken."

Desmond hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas plushie up and his navel was broken, he felt quite sparkling, especially when he looked at Shaun.

"Your navel must hurt masterfully," Shaun said. "I think this will help." And he throttled Desmond several times.

Now Desmond felt very sparkling indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Shaun. "I love you," he said, and kissed Shaun thoughtfully.

"I love you too," said Shaun. Just then, the unicorn ran into the room and nuzzled Desmond's lip. "I brought him home with us," Shaun said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Desmond said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

*******
At first I was all, "hey, a lot of this is actually kinda fitting." Then I got to Shaun "I'm so luminous!" Hastings and Desmond's broken navel and I died. Oh, and apparently Shaun and Desmond are into autoerotic asphyxiation, who knew. Seriously, bless you for finding this OP!

(Also... does the appearance of the unicorn imply that Shaun and Desmond were virgins at the start of this story? You be the judge)

Re: CRACKTASTIC

[(Anonymous)]

Hrmm. Good question OP! Or maybe it's the ending of their vanilla smexy times? They started off with a bang, a broken navel and autoerotic asphyxiation....

I am super happy that everyone is finding this drabble-crack to be very entertaining! I even gained someone's eternal love too! Hehehe