Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 6

[asscreedkinkmeme]

Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.6
Open

Sky World

≈ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

≈ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

≈ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

≈ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

≈ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

≈ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

≈ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
Kink Meme Masterlist
New Kink Meme Masterlist
(Livejorunal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
#2 (Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive
#3 (Delicious.com) Archive <-- Currently active
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Fills Only
Discussion

Comments

BADFIC NEEDED!

[(Anonymous)]

Anon is starting to get fed up with all of these well-written stories.

Anon wants badfic! Genuine, horrible, 'oh god why' badfic, not just the fics that don't get spellchecked. Complete lack of proper personalities for everyone! Random modern anachronisms liberally strewn across the timeline! Smut so rubbish that it makes an IKEA manual look sexy! Mary-sues and Gary-stus running rampant EVERYWHERE! Fourth wall breakage! And, of course, bending the English language right over and raping its grammar until it cries for mercy.

Crack accepted? Yep. Random pairings? Of course. Random tense switching? Bonus points for every time you go from past to present to future tense in a single paragraph.

BADFIC FILL

[(Anonymous)]

Do you understand what monsters you’ve unleashed? DO YOU?

Ezio was in his apartmnet on Tibre Island when Leonadro enters: “EZI I LEAVE U COZ I MET MY TRU LOVE STEVE. HE IS A BETTER KILLER THAN YOU AND HES WAY HOTTER.”

Ezio cries: “NO LEO DON’T LEAVE ME I LOVE U”

“YOUR A LIAR! YOUR JUST A CHAETING HO! I SAW YOU WITH BARTOLMEO AND BIANCA THE OTHER DAY.”

“THEY DONT MATTER BABY YOU’R THE ONLY ONE FOR ME!”

“NO EZI I DON’T BELEIVE YOU YOU SLEEP WITH CATERINA AND ROSA AND CLAUDIA AND LA VOLPE. I SAW YOU. Ill LEAVE NOW I HAVE TO GO BANG MY PURFECT BOIFREIND” and Leon leaved.

Don’t worry son you should marry Tarrik hes way better for you says Giovani.

Yu think so dad? says Ezio.

“Yes I do son.”

“NO YOU SHOULD MARY ME” says Almualim. But then altair killed him so hes dead.

Leonardo didnt care about all that cos he was being jumped by his stud, Steve (his full name was Steve Auditore Ibnlaahad da Rome but thats to long so Leo called him Steve or Master sometime lol. Also hes Ezios sun). He had super beautiful soft black hair and soulfull red eyes and he was really tall and has a six pack. His love rod was so big Leo bleeds from his ass but that thats okay coz he like it. Suddently his neck hurt becaus Steve bit him. He cum.

Why u bit me” says Leonardo.

“I’m a vampire.”

Steve is a vampire! Now Leon is one two and they live together foreva.

THE END.

Re: BADFIC FILL

[(Anonymous)]

Ugghhnnn.

Uuuuuuuggggggghhhhhh.

-Driveby!anon and her inner grammar nazi groan again, too delirious in agony to properly form a response-

Re: BADFIC FILL

[(Anonymous)]

Passerby!anon believes that this means you succeeded, A!A.

Re: BADFIC FILL

[(Anonymous)]

This anon was curious about this. A!A, I think you attained My Immortal-esque level in just a few sentences.
*claps* Couldn't have been better! *gives cookies* Now if you excuse me... *pours bleach in eyes*

Re: A!A

[(Anonymous)]

My Immortal is the badfic to rule all badfic. Many have tried, but none can compare. I'll take the cookies anyway and give you another bottle of bleach in exchange. I stocked up.

Re: A!A

[(Anonymous)]

Previous anon thanks you for the bleach.^^
But here: My Immortal is a genuine badfic and I believe the writer had no clue about the rules they were breaking. (Still, as you said, it is the epitome of all badfics.)
But you wrote a badfic while obviously knowing all these things. It makes it even better.*admirative*

Re: A!A

[(Anonymous)]

A!A: Eh, mark me as a conspiracy theorist if you want to: I'm not convinced Tara isn't a troll, but maybe I need to believe this to protect my feeble mind. We just have to accept we'll never know the truth.
Thank you again!

Re: A!A

[(Anonymous)]

No. It just means we all lose.

Re: BADFIC FILL

[(Anonymous)]

OP's eyes are bleeding. OP was not even aware that was possible.

Thank you, dear, daring A!A, this was exactly what I was looking for! :D This sheer amount of horribleness, the abused grammar and spelling, the utter and complete lack of a complete plot... Truly, this earns the medal of the most horrible of horrible badfics!

Re: A!A

[(Anonymous)]

Here, have some bleach. It’ll help.

Thank you so much, but I don’t think I’ll ever wear that medal. I’m happy it was horrible enough, but I’m surprised you’re not buried under fills. It’s a badfic prompt! Everyone can write badfic. Why does no one write about Desmond’s tragic romance with Vidic, or Haytham and Achilles’ love child, or that one fling between Maria Thorpe and Mary Read when the Apple transported her in Nassau, where one look was all it took for them to be overcome by passion? Those things write themselves.