asscreedkinkmeme (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
asscreedkinkmeme) wrote2013-05-13 07:24 pm
asscreedkinkmeme) wrote2013-05-13 07:24 pm
Entry tags:
Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 6
Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.6
Open
Open
Sky World
≈ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.
≈ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.
≈ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.
≈ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.
≈ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.
≈ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.
≈ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!
List of Kinks
Kink Meme Masterlist
New Kink Meme Masterlist
(Livejorunal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
#2 (Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive
#3 (Delicious.com) Archive <-- Currently active
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Fills Only
Discussion
Shipping Can Be Dangerous 6/Let The Roasting Of My OTP Resume
(Anonymous) 2015-05-18 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)"That's right, you just poke a needle here in his crotch and give his schmeckle an owie." Mama replied, jabbing the voodoo doll savagely with a needle. "An old friend taught me this trick."
"Are you even listening to me, Mama? I am very concerned about your mental health!"
"Yes, he does deserve it, doesn't he?"
"Mama...... breaking into someone's house to steal a single hat is not normal. That was the home of a Templar! You could have taken anything! Why the hat, Mama? This gains nothing for our cause, I don't even think it has helped you to cope with your issues regarding this man. Does the hat give you closure?"
"Go ahead, try to have intercourse now, you genocide loving fucking bastard! Happy Thanksgiving!" Mama cackled.
"Mama....... just...... just tell me straight. I promise I won't judge you. It's just.... stealing his hat.... fashioning a little doll that looks like him....... and then poking it's genital area to prevent him mating with anyone else.... Mama, do you have feelings for this man? Because you can do so much better! You're a strong, independent man! What about that Washington fellow? I think he might like you! He begins to strut and show himself off whenever you are near! I would not mind him for a stepfather! But not Hat Man."
"Okay, okay. Someone must be very hungry. Who wants some bread, hm?" Mama abandoned the doll and scooped him up.
"Why do you always do this!? I'm being serious! He's your father, Mama! Your father! That's weird as fuck! Please don't mate with him, please can we just burn the hat?"
"Calm down...... you ate an hour ago..... you're getting to be a big boy, yes you are." Mama cooed as they went downstairs.
"Achilles! Talk some sense into him! We need to hold an intervention! An intervention, I say, before this gets out of hand!"
"WILL YOU SHUT THAT TURKEY UP!? I'M TRYING TO READ!"
Why does no one ever listen to me? I'm being very serious. I might as well just shot gibberish at them, for all the times they have heeded my words. Mr. Gobbles thought sulkily. Oh, it's my favorite bread! Gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie!
"That's a good wittle Novice. Eat your noms so your grow big and strong and able to kill many Templars. Who's a pretty turkey, you are! Yes you are! You finish that up, and we'll go aside for some training drills."
Well, maybe Mama would be more receptive to talk about Hat Man if he had some fresh air.
And so it was. They went outside and he performed a few drills for Mama and readied himself to try and delicately approach the subject once more. But then who should appear but Hat Man himself?
And he was strutting. Oh dear.
~{}~
"Taking my hat was wholly unnecessary!" Haytham snapped, walking right up to Mama as though he were the cock of the walk. "I know it was you, give it back!"
"I don't know what you mean." Connor snorted.
"Don't you play dumb. Your fascination with me has crossed a line! Return it at once, or you will find yourself across my knee for a well deserved thrashing! I don't care how big you are, no one, and I mean no one, touches my hat!" Haytham jabbed a finger to Connor's chest. For some reason, he did not pull away from it in fear as he should have.
"My pain tolerance is incredibly high. Not to mention your elderly arm would give out long before I did so much as whimper." Connor smirked. "So go on and try. You aren't getting the hat back. It is my hostage now."
Haytham's jaw dropped. Oh. Oh. Oh! It was not just fascination, or even obsession, but also a challenge! His son..... was kind of a kinky bastard.
Connor smirked wider. Ha. His father clearly did not expect that, now did he? He probably felt the years weight on him now. Good. He would not back down. He had a boyfriend who was far worse than Haytham could ever be.
Haytham took a breath. "I had gotten you a present, you know. A peace offering." He said, trying a new approach.
"I am not inter - "
"It was your mother's."
Connor stared, clearly caught off guard.
"If you will go camping with me, Connor, you can have it."
"And how do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?"
"Because....... because Achilles can have my hat as leverage until then. And if you do not return, he can burn it. Connor, son...." He took his hands in his and leaned in. "I love that hat more than anything in the world. It means everything to me. That hat and I, we've been through so much. I could not live without it in my life. For these reasons, I will not hurt you. You can trust in my love...... for my hat."
"It's just a fucking hat."
"Don't talk about her that way! Is this agreeable?"
Connor sighed, jerking his hands free. "Very well. But your hat will be guarded and kept under watch. None of your lackeys will be able to rescue it."
"Understood........ t-take good care of it. Put it in a nice hat box but let it breathe." He sniffled, stepping back. "I will pick you up tomorrow morning. Please be ready." With that, he turned and left, as dignified as could be without his precious hat.
".......You strange motherfucker." Connor muttered.
~{}~
Mr. Gobbles wanted to leap for joy when he saw Mama shove Hat Man's hands away. Oh, he had seen the light! Everything was going to be okay! He clucked mockingly when Hat Man retreated, looking sullen.
He ran over and hopped at his mother's feet. "Oh Mama, I'm so proud of you for being so strong! That must have been very hard! But now I can set you up with a proper man. Washington has put his tongue in your mouth on occasion, he definitely has a crush on you. Now, you don't want to crouch as soon as he struts at you, that's too desperate. You need to play it cool. Hard to get and classy. But you don't want to wait too long or he won't even realize you're in heat. Mating season doesn't last forever, you know...."
"It's okay, Mr. Gobbles, don't worry. I'm fine." Mama said, shaking his head. "We're just going camping together."
Mr. Gobbles froze. "No..... Mama, don't do this! Don't go off to mate with him! You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement!"
"I should go get ready, I guess, and inform Achilles of...... of his hat guarding duties. What am I even going to tell him....?"
"Mama, no! If you have to throw yourself at someone, pick Washington! Washington! I don't like the Hat Man! Mama, what about Thanksgiving!? He celebrates it! Noooo!" He wailed, wings flailing in distress.
"I think I need to switch your brand of feed." Mama said, as oblivious as ever. "Preferably before I ask Prudence to look after you." He headed for the house.
Oh no. No. Prudence would not be watching this turkey. For he was an Assassin with a mission.
Fuck up Hat Man's attempts to mate with his Mama. Whatever the cost.
Your schmeckle is about to know what an 'owie' really is, you Templar bastard. I will not rest until your nefarious seduction has been thwarted. Sleep with one eye open on your little trip. You have invited the unholy wrath of Mr. Gobbles!
Hell hath no fury like a turkey pissed.
Re: Shipping Can Be Dangerous 6/Let The Roasting Of My OTP Resume
(Anonymous) 2015-05-20 09:55 am (UTC)(link)Re: Shipping Can Be Dangerous 6/Let The Roasting Of My OTP Resume
(Anonymous) 2015-05-20 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Shipping Can Be Dangerous 6/Let The Roasting Of My OTP Resume
(Anonymous) 2018-11-09 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)