Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 6

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Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.6
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≈ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

≈ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

≈ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

≈ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

≈ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

≈ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

≈ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

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#2 (Livejournal) Archive
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#3 (Delicious.com) Archive <-- Currently active
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
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Shipping Can Be Dangerous 7/Never Gonna Give You Up

[(Anonymous)]

"I think this is going to be good for us, Warren." Prudence said, brushing off her dress. "You know we've been trying for a baby. Think of what good practice taking care of a pet will be. Lots of couples start off with something easier, you know, and it does them good."

"It'll do you some good too. Keep you busy. Take your mind off of primrose."

"You hush up about that now. Besides, how hard can it be to care for a little turkey, huh? Farmers have many of them at a time. This one is just more domesticated, maybe needs some petting now and then and a special food. A blanket at night, you know. Simple as that."

"Do you wonder about the secret mission Connor is going on tomorrow?"

"Not really, no."

"I didn't either, until Achilles told me that the ransom the novices are guarding is a hat."

"How very odd. Do you think it is a hat of great power? Like a crown?"

"He only said it was the most ridiculous hat he'd ever seen in his life. But it must be important......... symbolic or something....."

A knock on the door interrupted their pondering. "Ah, that'll be Connor!" Prudence said, hurrying to the door.

Indeed, there stood Connor, his turkey in his arms and a large, heavy look backpack slung over his shoulder. "Hello Prudence." He smiled kindly. "Thank you so much for taking Mr. Gobbles in on such short notice. I really cannot express my gratitude. Say hello to Aunt Prudence." He encouraged, lightly bouncing the turkey in his arms.

Mr. Gobbles clucked.

Prudence smiled in amusement. "Hello there, Mr. Gobbles. Welcome to our home." She stepped to the side, allowing them in. "It's really no trouble, Connor, especially after all you've done for us. I understand Achilles would have trouble caring for a pet with his leg......"

"Do not call him a pet!" Connor exclaimed, eyes wide. "He is not a dog! He is my baby and he is precious to this world!"

"Ah, my mistake. A slip of the tongue." She amended. Well, Connor was not the first she had heard talk this way, especially sense poodles became popular. He was, however, the first man she had heard talk this way, but the conviction with which he said it was kind of endearing.

"Alright then." He nodded slowly. "Anyway, I am sure Achilles could manage to feed him and whatnot. He does well with his leg. But he is not really equipped to provide Mr. Gobbles with the emotional care and mental stimulation a growing turkey needs. He is the elderly jaded grandfather that you only let your child interact with under supervision, lest they inadvertently traumatize them during a fit of crankiness."

"......Is that so?" Warren blinked slowly.

"Yes, yes it is."

"Well, I can see you're all packed and heading off!" Prudence said brightly. "I've no doubt you have everything you need, that is the largest backpack I've ever seen!"

"What.....? Oh, no no no! I don't need all this just for camping, silly." Connor laughed, greatly amused. "Mother Nature provides most everything I will have need of during this.... mission. No, no, these are the bare essentials for my little man right here." He set Mr. Gobbles on the floor and placed the backpack on the table. "Why don't you run along and find some nice hiding spots from which to murder intruders?" Connor nudged the turkey with his foot. "That's the first thing any novice should do in a new place. Go on, then."

Both Prudence and Warren were still silent and stunned as the turkey walked away.

"Now then, I have his feed already measured out into little baggies for you so you do not overfeed him or starve him to death. But you will notice bags of bread crumbs, which are to give to him as a snack. I broke them up myself so there is no chance of him choking, but do not give him too much at once because he will try to eat it all at once and it will make his tummy upset."

"Seems reasonable....." Prudence nodded.

"That covers food, onto clothing. He mostly likes to run out naked in the sunshine, but there is not always sunshine, as you well know. Now, he can slide on his hood by himself for drills and unexpected killing, but he's going to need help with his bonnet if it gets chilly at night, which I have here. Now you want to tie it firmly but not too tight, and don't double knot it, that irritates his neck. If he thrashes his head you did it wrong and should try again immediately. These are his scarves, hats and cloaks, in case you want to take him for a stroll on a cold day. I already put them together in matching outfits for you. Don't mix and match. He is not some ruffian and I don't want the animals in the streets poking fun at him or whispering about him. Now do you have any questions?"

"Isn't it summer?" Prudence asked, eyes wide and head tilted.
"You can knit?" Warren's eyebrows furrowed.

"The answer to both of those questions is yes. Now these are very important." He held out a pair of oversized booties, carefully knitted for turkey feet rather than infant feet. "These are his Cuddle Booties. As you may have guessed, his feet are very sharp, so you will want to put these on him before cuddling him in your lap. He is very agreeable about it, so take your time. Don't just shove his feet in. That'll make his little toes all smooshed in and uncomfortable and he will be very cranky. Try to have him on your lap for at least half an hour a day. He needs his lap time for petting, cooing, positive affirmations, and rest."

"Cuddle Booties?" Warren looked at his wife, who held her hands out and shook her head.

"Now this is his brush, to smooth out his feathers, which you should do slowly so you don't pluck any out." Connor continued. He had not even made real headway into the backpack. God help them.

~{}~

Mr. Gobbles was not looking for hiding spots as Mama had told him to. Spirits forgive him, but he was looking for his exit. Never had he disobeyed Mama before..... but this was for his own good. Hat Man was not good for Mama. He couldn't care for him like he needed, pamper him like he deserved! And at least Washington's hat was tasteful. It was the sort of hat you could be next to in public, thank you very much. Hat Man's namesake was a nightmare. A huge, bulky nightmare. He'd even say it was a huge, bulky nightmare that was probably compensating for something less than adequate, if he were one for petty gossip.

Which he most certainly was.

He found his exit in the form of a propped open window. It would probably be closed when night fell, so he needed to time this carefully. Too early, and Mama would be alerted to his stealthy escape. Too late, and Mama would be announcing they had converted to the Templar cause come Sunday and be sitting on a nest of little Kenway eggs come spring.

He shuddered at the thought.

~{}~

"......and this is his ball, he likes to nudge it around with his beak quietly sometimes, but is always up for a nice game of fetch. And this here is his last toy as well as his newest. Mr. Templar!" He held up a voodoo doll. "It is a chew toy. He likes to peck it, shake it around, and stamp it. Do not worry about this toy being damaged..... I could always make another......" He smirked. He was just way to happy about the pain that particular toy went through.

"Prudence? I'm scared." Warren whispered, holding onto her.

"And if you find it hidden in odd places, never you mind. He actually stole it from me, the little rascal, so he hides it from me. He doesn't know I know and I am content to keep it that way. He's getting a lot better at concealment, and that's so important for an Assassin to practice. Especially if he does not have thumbs."

"Me too." She whispered back, pressing against his side.

"As you can see, I have all his nighty night essentials. Here are his favorite storybooks.... this here is his pillow, just some extra cushion for his bum bum, it can go anywhere on the bed......"

"We are not having a turkey in our bed." Warren hissed to his wife.
"We'll have to make the fireplace seem very appealing, then. Or it might tell on us." Prudence replied softly.

"Can it do that?" He gulped. (As though Connor ever listened to Mr. Gobbles.)
"I don't want to find out what an Assassin turkey can do if we anger it." She squeezed his hands.

"......and this is his blankey! Now tell me, have you ever tucked in a turkey? You have to wrap it around his body but leave the head uncovered, and if you need to practice...."

"Not necessary. I've tucked in many...... birds....." Prudence said through a stiff smile.

"Fantastic. Then there's just one more thing you need to know, and this is the most important. Never..... ever...... should you say the word Thanksgiving in his presence." He said seriously, meeting their gaze. "He lost his entire family at the hands of Templars in a Thanksgiving massacre. It haunts him to this day, driving him to vengeance, tearing at his little turkey soul unrelentingly and pushing him to action for our cause! For all people and turkeys everywhere who believe in goodwill, justice and freedom!" He took a breath. "So he really gets cranky when he hears it. Okay?"

They nodded silently, smiling painfully.

"Well then! That's all you need to know. Have you any more questions?"

They shook their heads quickly.

"Then this is where I say my goodbye and take my leave." He whistled, and his baby came running quickly.

He plucked him up. "Mr. Gobbles, I know you have not ever been away from home before. I am sure you are scared, even if it is still on the Homestead. But I need you to be a big boy for me, okay? Be courageous. I know you can be, for you are a novice of the Brotherhood. You show courage every single time you put on your hood. I know you will make me proud, and behave for Aunt Prudence and Uncle Warren. I will come back to retrieve you tomorrow. Don't cry now!" He said quickly, even though the tears were certainly not being shed by Mr. Gobbles. "This is as hard for me as it is for you! But we have to be strong!" His voice cracked.

"I didn't know he could cry. Did you know he could cry?" Warren whispered. Prudence shook her head, just watching this display in silent awe.

He set Mr. Gobbles down and saluted him. "Farewell, my little soldier. Mama will be back tomorrow." Shoulders shaking, he turned towards the door. "Thank you very much!" He choked out to Prudence and Warren, before quickly running from the cabin. He knew if he so much as looked behind him, he would lose his nerve and turn around. And he had to lead by example, no matter how hard and painful this was.

Mr. Gobbles looked at the door, at the small mountain of 'bare essentials', and finally at his babysitters. A few long moments passed in silence as they regarded each other. Finally, he nudged his ball down the hallway in an effort to look innocent and not up to anything.

"Maybe we should have had a baby... so we could practice before taking care of this turkey." Prudence said quietly. Warren nodded.