Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 4

[asscreedkinkmeme]

Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.4

Welcome to Constantinople

‡ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

‡ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

‡ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

‡ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

‡ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

‡ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

‡ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
Kink Meme Masterlist
New Kink Meme Masterlist
(Livejorunal) Archive
(Delicious.com) Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
#2 (Delicious.com) Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive <- Currently active
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 5
Fills Only
Discussion

Comments

Altair/Malik, frottage

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a girl with simple needs. Right now I need some frottage. Cock to cock, cock to ass (personal favorite), cock between the thighs- it's all good. <3

(I only ask for no modern-day AUs if possible)

Re: Altair/Malik, frottage

[(Anonymous)]

Jesus OP, are you me? Seconded. I vote for dick b/t thighs, there's never enough of that in this world.

Assassin's Creed with a Dash of Magic Mike

[(Anonymous)]

You guys seen the commercial for Magic Mike yeah? It's where a veteran stripper dude teaches a novice about the lifestyle.

People: Who wants to see this with the AC Crew?

Anything goes! Good luck!!! :3

Re: Assassin's Creed with a Dash of Magic Mike

[(Anonymous)]

The 'you don't want to know what I'll do for a 20. here, I'll show you.' would work sssssoooooo well. Seconded cause hell yes. Chip and dales.

Dads

[(Anonymous)]

In honor of the upcoming commercial-whore day where we prove that we don't really know our fathers and get them whatever we happen to see on the first store shelf, I'd like to see our Assassin's dads gather around a communal table and gripe about their sons. Umar Ibn-laAhad, Giovanni, Bill, you can even throw in Connor's French father and flesh him out however you see him (or the dads of any other character you can think of).

Whether they discuss the Assassin Order, get hammered, or lament about the men the fruit of their loins are sleeping with, I'd just like to see them have a good time together.


Don't forget your dads, Anons!

Re: Dads

[(Anonymous)]

SECONDED LIKE WHOA! It'd be way too awesome... bits of dialogue in my head right now... this prompt is wub...
Someone, please?

(Another thing they can discuss: whatever lame gifts they were given by their sons.)

Giovanni: Don't you complain, you have one son! I have two of them! Twice the pasta sculpture and whatever things they saw. All the time.
Umar: *pats pats* Indeed, at least Malik used to sway Altair from his worst ideas.
Giovanni: *bawls*

... This anon will now hide and camp, waiting for someone to fill this before I do it and kill everyone's brains.

EZIO x LEONARDO married / raising child

[(Anonymous)]

Hey everyone firstly I wonna thank you all for the AMAZING stories and fills x
but I have yet to see a Leo x ezio getting married fic or even raising a child it would be so cute I can't be the only one to have thought of it can I
? If somone could donut I'd be greatful x

Re: EZIO x LEONARDO married / raising child

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry spelling error *do it

[(Anonymous)]

I feel awful for requesting this but... the real reason Desmond ran away was because he was raped by some of the older assassins. Cue Bill finding out and being both horrified and angry, demanding to know names so he can go kill them. Some father/son crying and apologizing, etc.

If you want to include a pairing (not needed but don't mind it) Shaun/Desmond.

[(Anonymous)]

What's with us being so horrible to Desmond? I'm sorry honey, but my need to see you suffer and then being cuddled to death wins everytime... seconded.

Oh poor Leo xxxx

[(Anonymous)]

I wonna a classic fill a ezio x Leo
ezio is fed up of keeping his feelings to himself . He goes to tell Leo he loves him and the truth he actually never slept with all those women just flirted and bailed cos he loved Leo x

ezio tries . Talking . Writing . Yelling off buildings but Leo STILL misses the fact that ezio is trying to confess his love . Until ezio goes into full rant mode
and Leo is finally I love u too

Fluffy . Smut optional x

Re: Oh poor Leo xxxx

[(Anonymous)]

Totally seconded!

I can't claim, I'm drowning in unfinished fills (but if nobody goes for it, I might)

AltMal mpreg?

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, guys, first time posting on the kink meme (though I've been a lurker for nigh on two years now, hehe) hope I'm doing it right...

I've gone through every single page of ALL the archives...I can't find any AltMal mpreg, except for one that was very good, but sadly never continued :( normally I'm not a fan of mpreg at all...but the idea of Malik and Altaïr, with a child of their own, just drives this anon to tears.

Please, pretty please, write!Anons, I was dumped two days ago after a three-year relationship and I've had basically the worst week of my life...give me something to smile about? :c AU/contemporary/what-the-fuck-ever. I will love you forever~ <3

Re: AltMal mpreg?

[(Anonymous)]

So sorry to hear about your relationship, anon. *Leonardo hugs* hope you're okay!

Seconding this like burning. We need more mpreg on the meme!

Seconding the call for MPREG!

[(Anonymous)]

Ezio/Leo mPreg this time, as I can't recall seeing it requested anywhere. Preferably with Ezio as Daddy-to-be (mostly because he'd be all adorably "Leo! My armour shrank!" And Leo'd be all "Armour cannot possibly shrink, Ezio. Have you been dining very well of late?" And Ezio'd be all defensive and emo(tional) and storm off to sulk somewhere... Until Leo made it up to him (the smutty naughty way))

And I'd love Maria and Claudia to have ~feelings~ on the matter if/when Ezio explains the situation (and Mario'd totally just troll Ezio for the rest of the pregnancy).

And if Anon peeps fill the above Anon's wish for AltMal mPreg then please please be so kind as to link it to me?

Gags.

[(Anonymous)]

A ring-gag, to be specific.

I have a huge thing for non-traditional gags like ring-gags, pump-gags, pecker-gags... Half my interest in bondage-fics is reliant on the gag, xD.

And I would love to see an Altair/Malik fic featuring a ring gag. There's something humiliatingly sexy about having a mouth pried open, completely vulnerable to another person. Writer has total creative control over the circumstances of the fic (AU/canon, who's on top, if there is bondage, just the gag, or if there's even sex, etc.), just no rape/dubcon please~

Would seriously prefer AltMal, but I'll take Desmond/Shaun too~

I have no plans for children but I will hand over my cat's first-born kitten straight up for this.

Altair/Malik Phone Sex

[(Anonymous)]

LDR!Anon wants to take comfort in the fact that she's not alone in her frustration. Malik and Altair, Modern AU, either in a long distance relationship or one of them on a business trip, and fluffy, sickly-sweet phone sex happens because they miss each other so much. Alt/Mal is preferred, but Ezio/Leo or Shaun/Des is okay too.

I will give pie and/or sexual favors to whoever fills this...pleasepleaseplease

Re: Altair/Malik Phone Sex

[(Anonymous)]

Seconded like whoa. Yes please! This anon loves phone sex, and loves AltMal, and the two together is just HNNNNNNG

Virgin AltMal for prompt virgin

[(Anonymous)]

I've posted a few fills, but this is my first time posting a prompt...so I hope the good karma of the kink meme is in my favor :)

Altaïr and Malik, losing their virginity to each other as novices in Masyaf, pre-Solomon's Temple. Fluff and cuddles a must, nervousness and maybe some tears? :') Anon wants sweetness and love, please and thank you ^^ AltMal preferred, but MalAlt will also do

If another fill of the sort has already been done, a link will suffice, but not an AU please :)

Re: Virgin AltMal for prompt virgin

[(Anonymous)]

Seconded. I'm currently working on a challenge, but once I get a good ways into that, if no one has touched this one then I will give it a shot.

AltMal and the Black Mercy

[(Anonymous)]

Remember that old Superman one shot where he gets attacked by that plant that makes him have really bitchin awesome dreams about the normal life he could never have? How bout Altair gets attacked by the same plant (non-au, please. Superhero assassins is a whole different prompt), and dreams about the normal life he could never have had. Preferable with Malik, though Maria can get in there for some three parents action. Also, can we get reaction from everyone else in Masaf freaking out over suddenly comatose Altair, as well as trying to wake him up? And if you wanna stick the Desmond, Conner, and Ezio crews in Altair's dream world, have at it. Happy ending is optional. Angst equal serious bonus points. As well as screwy and mindfucking dream sequences.

Re: AltMal and the Black Mercy

[(Anonymous)]

I might have to fill this, anon. This is so tempting.

I'm writing some, but I want to know...

[(Anonymous)]

How other people would take to Dark!Federico Auditore. I mean, I'm a big fan of Federico/Vieri and how they interact, all fangs and claws. But Federico is a smart, rich, important, although lazy man.
And he's always the good big brother. I want to see him dark. It doesn't matter if it's possessive dark, or a dark only Vieri sees, whatever. Romance is not required.
Thanks! I'm working on two fills, but noticed this place seemed kind of...sleepy.

Long reply is long

[(Anonymous)]

This is an interesting idea... But I look at Federico with the shining adoration that Ezio has. I'm the Anon writing the drunk!Ezio fill a few pages back, where Federico was basically hero-worshipped by wee!Ezio, and I just can't see him as that dark, or at least, not around other Auditores - but if it's a darkness perceived only in another's eyes like Vieri or even a random passerby... that is a very interesting concept.

Particularly if Federico knew about Giovanni's Assassin background, I could see him testing out the ruthlessness that he'd need as an Assassin. It would give his teaching Ezio the finer points of beating the shit out of someone at the start of the game a deeper context than just being the big brother.

But I don't really have any muses right now so I can't write it, but I definitely second it.

I like big brother's new boyfriend!

[(Anonymous)]

I want an AU where Federico and Kadar hook up. Not only do they hook up, Federico introduces Kadar (And possibly Malik) to his family. Ezio jokes around with Fed, while Claudia and Petruccio like their brother's boyfriend for one reason or another.

Bonus Points: If Federico and Kadar are tempted to go at it after the whole "Meet and Greet" is done, If Malik calls Ezio a "Novice" or if Maria makes a comment to Ezio about "Outlets"

Help An Anon Please?

[(Anonymous)]

Anon here is off work with a bad back - facet joints have locked tight and it's all I can do to sit. Yayness.

Let's give an Assassin a painful back (although I would expect muscular discomfort rather than joint issues in someone as flexible as one of our Assassins - unless you go for old!Ezio) and have their significant other fuss over them, put ice packs or heated sacks of wheat against the offending muscles and give back rubs and attempt cuddles/sexings only to stop every time the Assassin's back twitches.

Magic healing cock is welcome ;-)

Re: Help An Anon Please?

[(Anonymous)]

I know your pain, OP. My back has been a bit of a bitch to deal with.

I hope you're ok with me filling this with Federico/Vieri, cause My Federico!Muses are really active today.

Assassin or Saracen / Templar Knight SLASH

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, you read right.

I'm reading this Altair/OC/Malik fic here--> http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8176538/1/A_Thousand_Sordid_Images where they have an OC!Templar Knight who is involved in a (deliciously secretive) slash relationship with an OC!Saracen. Somehow I hadn't expected to love the dynamics between them so much!!! The author has made it clear that she will not be writing smut between them because she wants to stay true to history. Please do read ch. 5 and ch. 6 to see the awesome interaction between the Knight and the Saracen. You will see why I love them so much OwO

Therefore I humbly request Assassin or Saracen / Templar Knight in that order. Don't care if OC or canon!characters.

Because we've seen assassins being topped by various Templars before... meh. I want to see a knight (preferably willingly) give himself to an assassin or Saracen.

Some notes + redbull for muses ripped from the author's notes on ch. 6:
Some Templars worked alongside with Saracens (spies, advisors, etc). Some knights were even fluent in Arabic and could cite verses from the Quran (bet you didn't know that).

The Knights Templar were 'warrior-monks', and so they resisted sexual activity. This is why I would imagine them to be more submissive than dominant, no offense to the great Robert/Altair fics out there.

Please please PLEASE make this happen. ;_____;

OP will be lurking this, so please feel free to ask any questions if potential!writers are confused or need more info. C:

Re: Assassin or Saracen / Templar Knight SLASH

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know why I love this idea so much but I do possibly because I played The First Templar at the same time as I played AC1

Definitely seconded

Rarepair/RareThree Please Anons?

[(Anonymous)]

Leonardo/Shaun please, with Shaun in full history fanboy mode and Leo just needing to have him bent over and spread wide.

Super bonus points for Desmond being incredibly jealous of Shaun and wanting to participate in all the sexings.

I don't mind how it transpires, whether it's apple shenanigans or some manner of AU, as long as there's much sex and some cuddling after

TL;DR Leo/Shaun becomes Leo/Des/Shaun and everybody wins ;-)

Leonardo/Ezio - Werewolf!Leonardo .... hear me out.

[(Anonymous)]

The other night I had a strange yet awesome alcohol-induced dream.

Leonardo had done a commission for a man in a small town not far from Venice. When he gets there, he hears whispers of animal attacks that have left grotesquely disfigured corpses after dark. After taking the painting to the man Leonardo finds himself quickly wandering through the streets at dusk, wanting to get to his inn as quickly as possible, when he's attacked by the creature. The werewolf manages to bite into his leg, but before his leg is ripped off, several men from a nearby bar hear the scuffle and manage to scare the beast away.

Cue Leonardo returning to Venice a week or so later. His leg is still sore but healing remarkably fast. The full moon approaches and Leonardo doesn't remember much expect for extreme pain. He goes through this several nights in a row and reports of vicious animal attacks are appearing around the city.

On one of the nights wolf!Leonardo finds Ezio badly losing to a number of thugs. His protectiveness overpowers his bloodlust and he cuts down the thugs in a matter of seconds. With Ezio only remaining Leonardo turns to find him practically shitting himself with fear (as any normal human being would do in that situation), clutching his wounded abdomen in one hand and weakly holding his sword in the other. Leonardo manages to crawl up close to Ezio, trying to show he means no harm.

Ezio's exhausted due to bloodloss, So Leonardo easily scoops him up and takes him back to his workshop. Ezio finally rests with an 8 foot werewolf curled around him. He wakes in the morning alone, and walks downstairs to find Leonardo with his head in his hands...

Excite me Anons. I'm imagining Leonardo's werewolf form as having the lankiness of the Harry Potter Werewolves, but the looks of a Van Helsing one.

Top!Leonardo of course :D

BONUS: Ezio is afraid of Leonardo at first but finds he is the only one that can calm Leonardo down from the bloodrage in his transformed state. Fluffy times ensue.

Re: Leonardo/Ezio - Werewolf!Leonardo .... hear me out.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh yes, DO WANT!

Malik as a father

[(Anonymous)]

So a while back I read a fill that had Malik singing to baby!Tazim and it was just so cute. I would kind of like I see something else like that. It doesn't have to be singing or anything, just a really cute moment with Malik and baby!Tazim. I don't really have any preference for what exactly happens in this as long as I get some lovely, tooth rotting sweetness between a father and his son.

If you want, you can also throw in Altair, Darim, and Sef for extra cuteness, but all I really ask for is that someone I've me Malik and Tazim.

Microfill: The King's Honour 2

[(Anonymous)]

Altair had protested that his son was far too young. "He is barely a year old, Malik" the Grandmaster had complained. "Wait until he is at least five." Obviously, the Second ignored his old friend's protests; he had planned on this day for weeks now, even finishing his work earlier than usual to make time for this. And now, he was sitting at the edge of the lake, his son laughing as he played in the grass.

It wouldn't even be a proper lesson anyways. It was just a play date between him and his son. Something that Altair had encouraged for families: to actually know your children and be able to love them. Malik had offered for Altair, Maria and their children to come along, but the grandmaster offered some vague answer to decline. Maria just laughed and replied 'we'll see'

Malik shrugged his heavy robes off, the dark fabric practically baking him in the sun, leaving him in only his pants. Tazim had crawled back to him, his eyelids a little droopy as he reached out to grab at his father's hand. The sun was tiring him out already, but his father just laughed softly. "Come, little one." He murmured as he picked his son up with practised ease, standing up. "You do not want to sleep through today."

He approached the lake, the cold water chilling his toes as he stepped in. Tazim did not squirm in his father's arm; even so young, he knew that there was only one limb to support him. His fingers tried to grab at the fabric that was usually there, but only served now to scratch at his father's chest with tiny nails. "Ba..." He tried to request, but Malik just smiled warmly as he walked a few more paces into the lake, the water slightly deeper, but not enough to have any worries.

The father sat down in the chilly water, soaking his pants and coming up to his waist. He was glad he decided to come a few hours after the midday; if he had come at dawn, the lake would be freezing. Gently, he lowered his son into the water, toes first. Tazim let out a squeal of surprise as the tips of his toes met the cold water, and he quickly looked down at the water, curious and in awe.

Malik eased the infant into the water slowly, pausing if Tazim moved to cling to his arm so that he could soothe the child, comforting him and telling him that the water was safe, that he would not let his boy drown. He doubted that Tazim could understand any of his words, but his tone certainly calmed him down so he could continue. When Tazim was up to his neck in the water, the boy instantly flicked his arms, splashing his father and surprising him.

Malik let out a laugh as Tazim giggled, unsure what he had done to send water at his father but finding it amusing. The boy flailed a little, more to try and repeat the motion than to escape the liquid that surrounded him. Soon, he splashed more water at his father, who could not retaliate at all while he held onto his son. Tazim just squealed with laughter as he continued to push water and slap his arms down, until his father's was completely soaked.

Eventually, though, the boy lost interest in bringing water all over the place, giving Malik a chance to blink his eyes clear. Droplets ran down his face, but he could not wipe them away with his arm still supporting his son. Tazim, for his part, was now trying to explore his new environment, arms lazily moving in the water. By now, the father had relaxed enough to let Tazim move as freely as he could in the shallow water. He did not fear his son drowning, for he did not take his eyes off the child, who stuck his head under the water for a few seconds, before surfacing again.

Several minutes passed by, with the infant lazily moving in the water, occasionally bringing his arm up to send another splash at his father, who wiped the droplets away with a small laugh. The child's sleepiness was forgotten as he tried to move and familiarize himself with moving like this. "You swim better than Altair, my son." He found himself laughing as he brought a cupped hand out of the lake and poured its contents over Tazim's head, "A good sign."

"You wound me with these words, Malik." A voice spoke from behind, and Malik spared a glance back. The Grandmaster stood there, a little ways away from the lake's edge, with Sef clinging to him and staring at the lake's surface with wide curious eyes.

"Baba! Can swim?" The youth asked excitedly, as his brother stepped into view, holding onto his mother's hand.

"No, your baba can't swim." Malik smirked a little, causing the Eagle to scowl and his wife to laugh softly.

"Yes, you two can go swim." Altair replied, as if he did not hear Malik's words. He crouched down on the grass and Sef instantly let go of his father to start running at the lake, pulling his shirt over his head as he ran. Darim, on the other hand, cautiously walked to the water's edge, reaching it by the time his younger brother had already leapt in and sent water everywhere.

Tazim let out a giggle as water hit him in the face. It prompted him to start splashing with his arms blindly, laughing. Malik simply wiped his face clear again, and looked over at where Altair's youngest was already surfacing. "Mama! Darim! Come! Is fun!" The five year old shouted excitedly. Maria shook her head as she sat down beside her husband, but Darim pulled his shirt off and tentatively stood at the water's edge. Sef looked at his brother for a moment, before swimming over and grabbing the older child's arm. Then, he fell back into the water and forced his brother along, causing him to yelp in surprise.

Malik let out a small laugh, and Tazim squealed at the splashes, before trying to move over to where the elder children were. His father did not allow it, using his hand to block Tazim's attempts to swim over. The water that Altair's children were in was much deeper, after all.

Still, it was cute to watch Tazim struggle, arms moving in a way that almost seemed like swimming. It would be several minutes before he gave up, during which Sef splashed at his brother, who shivered in the water, and tried to coax him to swim with him. When Tazim gave up, his arms became a little limp, and he looked up at his father, sleepiness in his eyes. "Baba..." he mumbled, and Malik let out a soft laugh.

"Alright, maybe some more after your nap." He chuckled, before bending over to pick his son up in his arm. Almost instantly, Tazim cuddled into his chest, getting comfortable as his father stood up and exited the lake. When he sat down beside his friend, the boy looked like he was ready to drift off, but Tazim sleepily tapped Malik's chest, wordlessly requesting a lullaby.

Malik, try as he might, could not keep the warm smile off his face as he softly sang to his son, barely singing five lines before the child drifted off. Altair had watched him, and when Tazim had fallen asleep, he spoke lowly, soas not to wake him again. "So that's your secret in keeping him quiet. I wish I knew that when Darim was a baby."

"You got him to fall asleep sooner or later, Altair." Malik replied as he gently set his son down on top of the black robe he was wearing earlier, before carefully arranging it around his son so that it could help soak up some of the lake water and keep him from rolling onto the grass. "And if I remember right, Maria did most of the work with your children."

"I did." The woman smiled slightly as she watched over her sons, Darim finally getting fed up with Sef's antics and dunking his brother's head into the water he loved so much. Altair looked ready to shout at his eldest, but Sef quickly resurfaced and tackled his brother into the water again. Maria just laughed softly. "Your wife is lucky to have you tending to your son."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Altair grumbled a little, though Maria just planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "I do my share of parental duties..."

Maria and Malik shared knowing smiles, before lightly prodding at the Great Eagle with words. The sun watched over these two families, in the rare moments of peace. By the time it would set, Malik would take his son 'swimming' one more time, and, more than once, both Darim and Sef would be brought to tears by the other's actions before their parents would be forced resolve their conflicts, while Malik and Tazim laughed on the side.

Claudia/La Volpe (Or Machiavelli)

[(Anonymous)]

This anon should really be sleeping right now, but the thing I want to see right now is some cunnilings (Is that the word for it?). I feel really dirty asking for this but maybe can someone satisfy me with some Claudia/La Volpe? Or perhaps Claudia/Machiavelli? (Or maybe Claudia/La Volpe/Machiavelli if you prefer threesomes.)

Re: Claudia/La Volpe (Or Machiavelli)

[(Anonymous)]

Seconded! I'm not sure I would be able to pull off this pairing with my set of writting skills, but I do want.

I'm a sap for rescue fics

[(Anonymous)]

So, Machiavelli being bothered by La Volpe is nothing new. In fact, it's pretty much become a daily thing. So when Volpe doesn't come by to mess with him for a couple of days, Machiavelli can't help but feel that there's something is wrong. He finds out that no one else has seen him in a couple days either. However no one is really worried because it's La Volpe, the man whose a mystery even to the assassins.

Despite being told that it's probably another one of the Fox's games, Niccolo still can't shake that there's something really wrong and does some digging. Somehow, he finds out that La Volpe had in fact been captured by Templars and he has to rush to save him.

Re: I'm a sap for rescue fics

[(Anonymous)]

There is not enough La Volpe/Machiavelli on this Kinkmeme. Especially as this gives Niccolo a chance to really show what a BAMF he is, and for La Volpe to be a bit vulnerable - I love it when the invincible ones are in a position of vulnerability ;-)

Seconded with the power of a thousand flaming suns.

Cuddlefic or H/C please?

[(Anonymous)]

Anon has had a dream in which (AC2 era) Ezio got poisoned in Monteriggioni and had the whole family looking after him, but was so out of it he kept panicking thinking that everyone *else* had been poisoned and was suffering/dying. And Mario noticed that Ezio constantly asked for Leonardo - making sure he was well, etc - in spite of the fact that Leo was nowhere near the villa at the time.

Cuddles and h/c because of *course* Mario turns matchmaker for the boys (not that they need it) and Leo loves to look after Ezio (and while Ezio protests we all know that deep down inside he just *loves* having Leo fuss over him/look after him/ take charge of everything (and I *do* mean *everything*) )

If Anons can work some submissive!Ezio smexings once he recovers I will give you my internet babies.

[(Anonymous)]

Anon is a sucker for kid!fics. I always picture Desmond as being really, REALLY good with kids, and having seen a bunch of prompts and fills of him being good with kids hasn't really helped that a whole lot either.

However, I have a harder time picturing Rebecca, Shaun, and Lucy as being great with them. It's not that they don't like kids (Well, Becca and Lucy like kids, anyway), they're just...not very good with them.
So! I'd like to see a story where, somehow, the gang ends up with a baby or young kid, and they have to take care of it. And they're having a lot of trouble and doing everything wrong and they're at their last nerves...

And Desmond somehow manages to sweep in and fix everything, being amazing with this baby or kid, shocking his friends who never knew he was so good with them.

Bonus if we find out that Desmond is so good with kids due to being really close to them on the Farm, or if he's so good with them because he wants to be a better parental figure than William ever was.

Double bonus if out of all of them, Lucy is the worst with kids. She just doesn't have the patience for them or something. Putting up with a team of assassins is one thing, but kids...

Triple bonus if this baby/kid/whatever really, REALLY likes Shaun. Shaun doesn't LIKE kids, but they all sort of...glom to him, and he's not sure why.

I feel like this prompt already exists somewhere, but I don't care, because I just need more adorable fluffy baby/kidfic in my life.

For All the Rain, the Sun Still Shines

[(Anonymous)]

Shaun wasn’t happy. That went without considering where he was at the moment, or what he was continually forced to put up with. He may complain, but truth be told he loved his job, and he loved where he was. He may not have liked sleeping on hard ground every night, but after Desmond managed to salvage a mattress from only-Lord-knows-where, Shaun had never been happier—especially when he already had a sore back from an incident in upper school what will never be mentioned aside from this ever again.

All things considered, he still wasn’t happy. Which led him back to the present, and he had to consider the fact that he had to hold a pink, squirming baby in his arms while a two-year-old cuddled into his lap. It really wasn’t fair. It truly wasn’t.

“Why do I have to take care of these… imps?”

“Shaun, cut them some slack. They can’t help themselves.”

“I am not changing—”

“Rebecca can do that.”

“Why do I have to do that?” she wailed.

“Because unlike with me, they’ll actually behave slightly.”

Shaun snorted, swiveling in his chair to glare at Lucy. She had walked toward the children when they first arrived, and the two-year-old burst into tears and the baby started caterwauling. Rebecca couldn’t get them to calm down, and when Shaun was forced to hold the pink squirming thing and cuddle with the irritating moppet, they settled down immediately. Only Heaven knew why, since he didn’t want kids ever. Desmond had better be prepared to take care of them when he came down. He didn’t want them, and he certainly didn’t know how to take care of them.

So here he was, stuck with two squirming little freaks, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about them, because for some reason they happened to like him more than Rebecca, which didn’t make sense because Rebecca had girly parts, so naturally a baby should be attracted to the thing with its next meal, right?

Wrong, according to the pink little bundle in his arms.

“I don’t get it, Luce,” Rebecca said as she started working on Baby. “Why do they hate you?”

“I don’t know,” Lucy sighed, and Shaun tilted his head back, closing his eyes. “I honestly don’t know.”

Rebecca snorted, and the room fell into silence. He sighed. He wasn’t excited that he had to hold the blasted children, and that he swore the little cretin was wiping its nose on his sweater. He even managed to doze off in the blessed silence as Lucy told Desmond to pick up more food on the return trip.

And then the nipper in his arms had to start crying—which, in turn, like a waterfall, caused the two-year-old to start crying. And it cried. And it cried. And it cried. And it hurt his head to the point he just wanted to throw the children into the sewers. It was bad enough he had to deal with Desmond, but now an imp and a newborn, too, and God was probably laughing at him as he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, cursing his existence.

“What’s wrong with them?” he heard Lucy say. “I’m not anywhere near them.”

“I don’t know,” Rebecca said, even looking up from the Animus. “Shaun, do something.”

It was loud, and it was shrill, and he knew that the damn thing was probably hungry. Of course, Lucy couldn’t even touch the bundle, and Rebecca most likely wasn’t lactating at the moment, so he was stuck with a screaming baby until—

“What the hell, man?”

He felt the child be lifted from his arms, and he looked to see Desmond sweeping the bundle out of his arms, cooing as he fed it a bottle that Shaun had no idea the man had gotten.

“You weren’t even holding the kid right, you moron!” Desmond seethed, glaring at him before turning his attention back to the squirming bundle.

The two-year-old reached out for him, and the man with the bottle sat in the chair by his computer, calling the child-thing over. Shaun watched in wonder as the toddler went crawling and stumbling over to Desmond, who helped him into his lap. The man slung the arm with the bottle over the second child and talked quietly to them, having Rebecca fetch him the bananas from the bag, slowly coaxing the child into eating one, promising him a cooked meal later if he ate it. The child seemed to accept that, munching on the banana and leaving them all in wonder as the little things listened to his every word as if he were preaching the Bible to a bunch of fanatics.

Okay, so perhaps that wasn’t the best comparison, but how in Hell’s bells did Desmond get so good with children?

Oh, right, because Desmond was a child.

Finally, the baby was full, and he watched him burp the little slug as the toddler played around with his sweatshirt.

“Where’d the kids come from?” Desmond asked, walking over to Lucy as he bounced the baby.

Lucy eyed it warily. “From a team that will be joining us in a few days.”

“What are their names?”

“The boy is Timothy McCutchan, and the girl is Monika Saskia Lehnsherr.”

“Germans and Americans?”

“It was a mixed team that grew as they ran.”

After it finally threw up, Desmond tidied the squirming bundle and sat back down, humming quietly as the two-year-old cuddled into his side, holding onto the sweatshirt like a safety blanket. Shaun watched as the man smiled softly, holding out a finger to the tiny little thing and cooing gently when it grabbed his finger.

“You’re so beautiful,” Desmond murmured, wiggling his finger as the child grew sleepy. “Just look at you. You’re going to grow up and be the princess of a far off land, aren’t you?”

He looked when the second child tugged at his shirt, and he laughed. “And yes, you’re going to grow up and be the prince that rescues her from the evil clutches of the nasty British scholar.”

Shaun scowled at the smug look sent his way. Desmond kissed the little boy’s head, and the child nestled down, yawning in tandem with the baby. A few minutes later of Desmond’s quiet murmuring, and they were out cold. The man seemed right at home holding the baby and cuddling the toddler, singing in Arabic softly as he awkwardly scooped up the toddler and brought him over to the sleeping bag. The child was still clutching the sweater tightly, sucking his thumb as he was tucked in. Desmond made a nest out of the various blankets he had accumulated on his runs and tucked the baby girl into the small cushioned area.

They were adorable, and he wished he could give them the mattress, but Shaun did need it because Desmond could see the pain the man was in whenever he would wake up. Of course, the man didn’t explain why his back was so terrible and openly threatened to castrate him while wielding a plastic spoon. He didn’t ask again after that. Of course, with Timothy in his bag and Monika in the nest, that meant he probably would sleep on the floor, even as Timothy removed the hand sucking his thumb to grab his wrist. He sighed, sitting beside the boy and at the feet of the little girl, watching them sleep. They deserved a better life.

Of which, Desmond vowed to give—

“That was impressive, Desmond.”

He looked to see Lucy watching him, and he smiled. “Thanks.”

She rested her head in her hand. “How did you learn to be so good with kids?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, come on,” Rebecca started. “Where’d you get that talent?”

“Quite clearly, it comes from him being such a child,” Shaun said with a scoff.

Desmond frowned. “Shut up, Shaun, or I’m giving them your mattress.”
Shaun frowned, but said nothing more, and Desmond ran a hand through Timothy’s hair, admiring the bright blonde strands. The little boy was fidgeting and squirming in his sleep, snoring softly as he kept the sweater in one arm and his wrist in the other. He leaned over and kissed the child’s head, looking at them fondly. He wanted to snatch these kids up and take them back to his apartment in Manhattan—and then spoil them rotten.

Still, as he fell asleep beside Timothy on the cold stone, blatantly ignoring the others’ questions because he knew that babies woke, screamed, and cried and that he needed sleep to get up and handle it, he realized he was going to fall hopelessly in love with the children under his care now.

Okay. Here's a little something for you, lovely anon. I can't help but write kiddie fics. Especially with daddy Desmond.

Federico/Ezio - carrying Feds body

[(Anonymous)]

Not sure if this has been prompted before, but right now I'm playing the part in brotherhood where Ezio is carrying his family's bodies to th river. Could I please get some heartbreaking Fed/Ezio angst? Say they were in a relationship before Fed died and omg thinking about how that would be for Ezio to carry his body makes me want to curl up and sob. On another note, Yay, I just popped my kink meme cherry!

Crack pairing time!

[(Anonymous)]

Vieri/Petruccio

Yes, you read that correctly.

(one idea I had for this was perhaps Vieri sneaking into the Auditore home with the intent of seeking out Federico, but he accidentally stumbles upon Petruccio's room. just an idea.)

Smut is preferred, though not required.

_{there really isn't enough petruccio on this kinkmeme anyway}

Re: Crack pairing time!

[(Anonymous)]

It's because of the haircut, OP? /shot

Though I'm intrigued - well enough to second that. (Curiousity kills the cat but yeah.) Though I am not sure - if you mean it to be slightly AU in which Petruccio would be a bit older or something? (I'm curious like this, even if I can't write Vieri to save my life pursued by Malfatto).