asscreedkinkmeme ([personal profile] asscreedkinkmeme) wrote2013-05-13 07:24 pm
Entry tags:

Kink Meme - Assassin's Creed pt. 6

Assassin's Creed Kink Meme pt.6

Sky World

≈ Comment anonymously with a character/pairing and a kink/prompt.

≈ Comment is filled by another anonymous with fanfiction/art/or any other appropriate medium.

≈ One request per post, but fill the request as much as you want.

≈ The fill/request doesn't necessarily need to be smut.

≈ Don't flame, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

≈ Have a question? Feel free to PM me.

≈ Last, but not least: HAVE FUN!

List of Kinks
Kink Meme Masterlist
New Kink Meme Masterlist
(Livejorunal) Archive
( Archive
#2 (Livejournal) Archive
#2 ( Archive
(Dreamwidth) Archive
#3 ( Archive <-- Currently active
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Fills Only

Male character spontaneous gets boobs

(Anonymous) 2014-06-18 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
As it says in the title. A male character ends up with an impressive rack in some way or the other (Apple shenanigans? Weird doctor potion? No explanation needed?).

Their partner is amused and intrigued, and wants to play with them.

Bonus points added for any of the following:
- the guy panics at first, but quickly gets distracted because boobs.
- if a het pairing, he gets bigger boobs than her.
- motorboating!
- trying and failing to get assasain robes on over that massive rack.

Re: Male character spontaneous gets boobs

(Anonymous) 2014-06-18 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Do you mind if the assassin turns completely into a woman (temporarily) or would you prefer them to stay half-male/half-female sexed?

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Fill: Changes (Altaïr) 1/2

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Passerby!anon here

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Re: Passerby!anon here

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Re: Fill: Changes (Altaïr) 1/2

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Fill: Changes (Altaïr) 2/2 ^^^

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Re: Fill: Changes (Altaïr) 2/2 ^^^

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Re: Fill: Changes (Altaïr) 2/2 ^^^

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Fill: Changes (Ezio) 1/2

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(Anonymous) 2014-06-19 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
So, in AC4, there is an achievement in which you get Ed to a bar, get pissed, and wake up in a near by pile of Palm fronds, hay, leaves, etc.
I even know which haystack you wake up in Havana ans great lingua because everytime I go there, I make sure Ed gets a hangover. :-)

What this anon wants to see, is anyone and everyone's different takes on just what the hell happened between getting pissed and waking up, in that haystack. Triple double points for copious amounts of crack with other pirates thrown in and some modern points of view about the whole debacle.

Also,I don't mind it not being Ed, but Altair, Connor, Ezio, Desmond, or even any other assassins. Or hell, even a Templar

Give me sidesplitting humour people, this anon wants to laugh till she falls off her chair, hits the floor, and gets mobbed by the puppy she lives with.

(Anonymous) 2014-06-20 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
I just finished AC3 and wanted some more (pain) ShaunXDesmond cause I'm surely gonna miss it. How about some bottom!Desmond???

The bleeding effect gets worse and Desmond can't even get a proper rest at night. He gets himself tired, like run around and train his Assassin skills or he'd secretly take medications (sleeping pills or drugs? Injections preferably, hahaha) just to make sure he's knocked out tired and no ancestors would bother taking over his tired body.

But then those werent' enough.

Shaun finds out and HELPS Desmond get himself tired... Like, hmmm, a little loving maybe?

(Anonymous) 2014-06-20 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
Would very much like a female!Haytham, but she pretends to be a man for the order cause she feels like no one would listen if she stays as herself. Yes, genderbend but she's pretending to be what she's supposed to be. This anon just loves this thing too much.

Ziio can be genderbent as well so they could have little Connor, but Haytham leaves their child in Ziio's care. Then she goes off masquerading as a man again. Maybe Charles finds out Haytham's a woman and got really jealous that his beloved Master Kenway got knocked up by a native and not him... So I guess he's got a better reason now to kill Ziio?

Fast forward, aaand Connor meets 'Haytham' and has no idea that HE was his mother.

Oh... I hope it's not too confusing? Ahahaha... Anon's not too picky with the pairing, as long as she gets fem!Haytham disguised as a man.ヽ(´▽`)/

(Anonymous) 2014-06-20 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
this.. I really like this
someone please fill this!

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Call for a beta!

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Re: Call for a beta!

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Re: Call for a beta!

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Oh anons, I'm such a tease

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Re: Oh anons, I'm such a tease

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Re: Oh anons, I'm such a tease

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Art by Milkdoggie

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Art by OP

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Second Chances

(Anonymous) 2014-06-20 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
A What if Haytham had not given the amulet to Charles. Instead it was on him when he died and sent his consciousness back into the past. He wakes up a younger Grandmaster, at the time his Templars had finished the purge of the Assassin Brotherhood.

Still bitter and angry at Connor for not accepting the Templar ideals and killing him, Haytham decides that he has no choice but to kill him so that he won't meddle with Order's affairs this time. However, after he and his men arrive at the native village, and find it in smoldering ruins. Haytham finds little Connor, the only survivor, crying and all alone.

Would love to see:

- Haytham feeling horribly guilty for wanting to kill his own child, especially when Connor sees him as 'red' using his eagle vision. But instead of running away or fighting, Connor decides that he wants to be with his mother in death
- Haytham raises Connor as a Templar
- Charles is not a dick, and just as protective of Connor as Haytham is

Re: Second Chances

(Anonymous) 2014-06-21 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
Seconded, please :)

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FILL: Second Chances [Part 1/?]

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FILL: Second Chances [Part 2/?]

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FILL: Second Chances [Part 3/?]

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FILL: Second Chances [Part 4/?]

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Achilles and Ziio

(Anonymous) 2014-06-22 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, so at some point before she met Haytham, Ziio had met and befriended Achilles, perhaps even allying together for a common goal for a time. But how did this meeting take place? What was this common goal of theirs? How did they work to achieve this goal?

Please, I would very much like to see a fic centering around this.

Star-Crossed Omegaverse/Soulmates

(Anonymous) 2014-06-23 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
I've seen a lot of prompts for the omegaverse here, but I've never come across one that has the alpha and the omega stay in two different time periods, so here's my prompt.
Desmond has known for a while that he is an omega and even though he is busy saving the world and losing his mind he always wonders why he can't seem to find his alpha. While going through his ancestor's memories (or experiencing a bleed) Desmond realizes, to his horror, that said ancestor IS his alpha.

What you do from there is up to you, but anon would like to see a happy resolution or at least one that provides closure for both Desmond and the ancestor.
Smut is optional (fluff is actually better personally), but if there is smut then having it with the hallucination or through the animus somehow (the loading screen? The island? Up to you) would be nice.

Anon is also throwing out the option of doing soulmates instead of the omegaverse if that tickles your fancy more or it's easier to do.

DesCon is preferred, but AltDes isn't bad either. Just no Ezio or Edward please. Also, it absolutely has to be consensual!

Thanks for reading!

Re: Star-Crossed Omegaverse/Soulmates

(Anonymous) 2014-06-23 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Super seconded for AltDes fluff!! Not enough of that!

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[Fill] Past Due, Connor/Desmond [1/2]

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[Fill] Past Due, Connor/Desmond [2/2]

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Re: [Fill] Past Due, Connor/Desmond [2/2]

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[Fill] Never Happen Again, Altair/Desmond

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Re: [Fill] Never Happen Again, Altair/Desmond

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In Honor of the World Cup: Assassin's Creed Football Stars

(Anonymous) 2014-06-26 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
AU where tbe various assassins are play soccer in the World Cup.

Connor is team captain for the U.S. and Desmond is his right hand man. Ezio is a star player for the US who recently got his citizenship when Italy didn't add him to the squad. Altair is a Syrian refugee who also plays for the US. Malik is his harried manager who used to play...until Altair fucked-up and caused him a serious injury that ended his career. Aveline is the team doctor who also happens to be very good at seducing rival players and getting their playbooks.

Meanwhile, Haytham is the coach for the English team and feels betrayed that Connor, a dual US/English citizen, refuses to play for England. Basically because he split up with Ziio when Connor was four and she moved back to US, taking Connor with her. William coaches the US team and is pretty hard on the players because he has an uphill battle to get them to place. Leonardo is his assistant coach and has full faith that (and a huge crush on) Ezio that will bring them into the final rounds.

Oh, and Edward is a major funder of the team, becoming wealthy through sketchy means. Because there's no way he can be from Wales and support England. And he feels betrayed that Haytham coaches the English. Plus, he loves being around his grandson Connor and gets on with his daughter-in-law Ziio, who he plans to let inherit his fortune...and he thinks William needs to seriously loosen up already. Adewale is his business manager, who sometimes gets fed up with his ego and antics.

Re: In Honor of the World Cup: Assassin's Creed Football Stars

(Anonymous) 2014-06-26 06:52 am (UTC)(link)
Love it!!!

Soccer's Creed Mini!fill: Desmond

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Re: Soccer's Creed Mini!fill: Desmond

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Soccer's Creed fill [2/]

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Re: haystack

(Anonymous) 2014-06-26 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Dear God in heaven! When I read 'even a Templar' my mind immediately pictured a sobbing Charles Lee going around screaming 'Master Kenway! Where did you go, Master Kenway?'. And then Haytham suddenly pops up from a nearby haystack, hair a mess and growling 'Tha fuck you want Charles? I was sleeping, you fucker. And where the fuck is my hat?'. Lee falls to his knees and starts crying like in cartoons, with rivers of tears coming out of his eyes, 'Master Kenway! I thought I lost you'.
And then, dun dun dun... Connor pops up from beside Haytham, eyes murderous, hissing like a wounded cat 'Leeeeee! I'm going to kill youuu!' and he tries to jump Lee, but he just ends up face planting on the ground because he is so freaking hungover!!! And that's how Connor's first bender with his daddy ended.
Jesus, I laughed like a moron for half an hour straight!

Re: haystack

(Anonymous) 2014-06-27 07:37 am (UTC)(link)
Anon, I'm trying to eat my breakfast here, please don't make me laugh any harder. That comment is a mini fill all on its own.
Now I want to find out where haytham's hat went.

Re: haystack

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Re: haystack

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Shinigami!Clay (Full Moon o Sagashite xover)

(Anonymous) 2014-06-28 07:22 am (UTC)(link)
Anyone read Full Moon o Sagashite? If not, this is what I want (somewhat spoiler alert for Full moon):
After dying, Clay discovers that, because he committed suicide, he is now a shinigami He decides to take advantage of this by watching over Subject 17 and protecting him, but ultimately making sure he survives long enough to save the world and then die. Only problem is, he can see Desmond but Desmond cant see him... Until Desmond wakes up from his coma after killing Lucy. Reason: He sees through Lucy's soul, which refused to be collected by a shinigami and now exists as a ghost that 'haunts' Desmond. No one can see her. The more Desmond and Clay get to know each other, the more Clay regrets having to make sure he dies at the end. Whether or not this is slash, and how it ends is up to author.
If you have read Full Moon, in a nutshell what I want is something loosely following the storyline of Full Moon with Desmond as Mitsuki, Clay as Takuto and Lucy as Eichi.


(Anonymous) 2014-06-28 03:49 pm (UTC)(link)
You read that right. All the assassins are kids.

Cesare is the whiny brat that keeps going "I'm gonna tell my dad!". Ezio can charm any female into giving him sweets. Altair is the arrogant kid that will only play with the others if he can be the leader. Connor is the quiet kid in the corner that everyone likes for some reason. Edward is the kid that usually ends up hoisting someone into the flagpole.

Basically, they're their old selves, only as kids.

And they're still their adorably murderous, psychopathic selves. Meaning that they will still stab people in the face. Possibly by kicking their shins first to get the adult down to a proper face-stabbing height.

Re: Kidfic!

(Anonymous) 2017-01-17 09:12 am (UTC)(link)
Or they will stab you in the dick because that's where they can reach?


(Anonymous) 2014-06-28 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Just finished watching a blackadder the 2nd episode. And I forgot about the minstrel in the credits. Singing mocking songs.

I am laughing so hard I have no idea what I'm prompting or if anyone will even grasp the magnitude of the minstrel. But I care not.

A minstrel battle. Who sings the stupidest songs, who gets punched in the face the most, a faux reality show called 'minstrel swap.'
I don't know. I really don't.

Re: minstrel

(Anonymous) 2014-06-29 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I love this prompt, Anon, it's vagueness is impressive, and also: Blackadder!

I got an image in my head of old!Ezio from Revelations returning to Italy and telling Leo and/or Claudia about dressing up as a minstrel and they just can't brain it.

"But you hate minstrels."

"I know, but I had to-"

"No, I mean, you really hate them."

"I do really hate them, but the mission-"

"How could you stand it?"

"I ... could say whatever I wanted and nobody knew I was shit at it, because those samn minstrels are not known for excellence."

Avatar the Last Airbender crossover! woot woot

(Anonymous) 2014-06-29 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
I am a dork, therefore I must have this. I found the three day marathon of AtLA a couple of days ago on Nicktoons. Since AtLA was my entire childhood, I sat on the couch for three days grinning like an idiot.
I would like to see some bending, and maybe the assassins are in the Avatar time period. (Not The Legend of Korra. I love her too, but Avatar will always be my favorite.) Don't care which characters you use (I do have a preference to Ezio and Altaïr and their respective gangs, though. But hey, you COULD always just stick all the Assassins together.) And I don't have any pairing preferences, but incest does squick me.
I know this prompt seems a little demanding (sorry!) but I'm just kind of... picky, I guess? Anyway, I'll freely hand you my soul if you follow this one little direction.
In my opinion, you cannot pick your element. You're born with (and stuck with, in some cases) it, right? So, if you're up for the teeniest bit of research, I'd love you forever if you based the element an assassin has on their sign, and I've got the sign elements right here:
And for birthdays/months, I think this will help:

Re: Avatar the Last Airbender crossover! woot woot

(Anonymous) 2014-06-29 04:38 am (UTC)(link)

Re: Avatar the Last Airbender crossover! woot woot

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Charles Lee has a Benny

(Anonymous) 2014-06-30 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
You know how much Charles Lee loves his Pomeranians? Let's give him a Pomeranian just like this one:

More videos of this obscenely cute dog here:

Please to include:

-Diva Mode

-Staring contests

-Butt Scratch Attack

-Biscuits & Bitches Fund

Go wild. Pairings welcome but not necessary.


Connor/Desmond smut

(Anonymous) 2014-06-30 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
OP would like some ConDes smex cuz she's been searching for like hours and couldn't find any. Modern AU or anything is fine, just gimme da em sexy boys together baby!

[Fill] Summer Work, Connor/Desmond

(Anonymous) 2014-07-01 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Desmond nearly swallows a few sharp bits of hay when he’s tackled from behind. “Dammit, Connor!”

He feels the breath from a nearly silent laugh against his neck as The older man neatly uses his bigger bulk to keep Desmond pinned in the hayloft. Wrapping his hands around Desmond’s wrists to keep him from flailing back hard like he wants to. Any other place in the world, and Desmond wouldn’t mind it so much. “Get of me! Something’s trying to gut me.”

Connor rolls off immediately and Desmond pushes up enough to pull a broken off shovel head out from under him. It’s rusty and dirty as fuck with ancient manure. He scowls and chucks it over the edge of the floor. Neither of them hear it land in the loose bales of hay below.

"Why do they call this a hayloft if all of the hay is downstairs?" Desmond asks as he lays back down. Significantly more comfortable now than before. Especially with Connor’s arm as a pillow.

"Why do you think I would know that?" Connor asks after a thoughtful pause. "This is my first time on a farm too."

"Yeah, but he’s your godfather," Desmond points out because it’s only logical that Connor would have a better answer. He’s closer to Achilles than anyone else really.

"So? I’m not taking over the farm from him. That’s the other Connor, ask him."

"But you’re here now and I’m asking you," Desmond grins at the frustrated noise that gets him and rolls when Connor tried to pin him again. Not very far though. Just enough that Connor’s draped half over him and they’re facing each other. "Hi."

"Hi," Connor says with an amused smile. He’s got hay stuck in his hair and Desmond removes each piece before knotting his fingers into it and pulling slightly. "Miss me?"

Desmond would say something smart about that but he’s more interested in kissing Connor than talking. In feeling him slot his leg between Desmond’s as they make up for the week he’d spent tagging to fucking Texas to get a tractor fixed.

"If I have to milk another barn full of cows alone again," Desmond growls when they break apart for air. The threat hangs unspoken in the air because he really doesn’t know what he will do. Just that it will be loud and involve more tears than his dignity can handle. "Why did we agree to come here for the summer?"

"Because it was this or the McDonalds off the highway," Connor says and he’s not laughing but his eyes say he wants to. "And I know how much you just love working there."

All through high school they’ve worked there in the summer, and every tourist season —without fail— he gets an almost endless parade of blatant come-ons that get progressively more obscene as the months wear on.

"Oh fuck you," Desmond groans, and then groans again for a very different reason when Connor’s hands slip under his shirt and his thigh shifts up.

"Ok,"Connor murmurs before dragging Desmond’s shirt off completely. He kisses him again. Hard and deep before pulling completely away. His own hands pulling his shirt up the only thing keeping Desmond from complaining too much. "Get undressed."

Soul of romance he is not, but it never fails to amaze Desmond how the simplest phrases from Connor can get him from zero to trying to kick his shoes off through tangled jeans and a lust addled brain. It helps that he’s got such an excellent visual aid. Connor’s movements are efficient and quick. The muscles he has only defined more from their constant work on the farm moving and bunching in mesmerizing ways as he tosses his clothes aside.

He holds onto his jeans long enough to fish out a neon colored condom and packet of lube he had to have gotten out of some sleazy restroom stop somewhere. Only Connor can get away with carrying that stuff, and Desmond laughs. Anyone else caught with it would face the Spanish fucking Inquisition. Connor? Probably wouldn’t even have to try to come up with some half baked excuse. One would be made up for him because most people still think he doesn’t know what sex even is.

Sure, Connor had been the last one in their age group to lose his virginity at seventeen but that had been over three years ago. Desmond has had plenty of opportunity to see how very innocent he’s not in that time.

"Can I?" Connor asks as he rubs the lube packet between his fingers. His eyes rake down Desmond hard with a hungry light that has him laying down on his back before he can even nod.

"Fuck yes, you can," Desmond shivers when Connor stretches out over him. Their bare skin meeting and Desmond’s a little sweaty from the fruitless cleaning chore he’d been drawing out for the past few hours. Just enough to make the slide of skin interesting as Connor pulls him back into another kiss.

He doesn't even hear the package tearing before Connor's nudging his legs wider. Urging one to come up and wrap around his back. His fingers are slick and Desmond sucks hard on Connor's tongue when he carefully presses one in. The first is always a bit of an adjustment but Connor always has ways of taking his mind off of it. Desmond groans as Connor shifts enough to press down on his hardening dick. "Ah!"

The second finger is better because Connor pushes in and crooks them. Pulling back from the kiss to watch his face when he finds the spot he's looking for. Desmond moans and grinds up against Connor at the shock of pleasure, reaches up and digs his fingers into Connor's broad back when he doesn't let up. Ruthlessly exploiting the angle until Desmond's a panting, writhing mess with no idea how Connor got that third finger in there.

"Connor," Desmond gets out on a moan, he can see the man's lips curl up slightly and bites hard at the closest shoulder. "Come on, hurry up and, ah!"

Connor chuckles as he finally pulls away. His fingers leaving Desmond uncomfortably empty as he strokes his own dick with slick fingers before opening and rolling the condom down over himself. Desmond snickers helplessly at the neon green condom. "Would you rather have yellow?"

"I really don't care. You could've got pink polka dot and I wouldn't care as long as you fuck me," Desmond tightens the leg around Connor's back and plants the other one on the ground to push up against Connor. Connor grins down at him. Wide and mischievous enough that Desmond knows the man is going to go out and find some condoms like that in the very near future. "Connor!"

"What?" Connor asks with the kind of innocence that Desmond stopped believing a long time ago. His eyes dance with laughter as he leans back down. His dick pressing against Desmond, slipping in just a little as Desmond arches up against him. Connor reaches down to steady himself and pushes in achingly slowly. His voice going light and breathless, "You'd like it."

"Fuck, fuck, ok yeah," Desmond agrees because his mind is occupied with the feel of Connor sliding in. Larger than three fingers and so much better than his own hand that he's had to settle for this last week. At this point, Desmond's well aware he's agree to anything just to make sure Connor never stops. "Fuck me, Connor, please!"

Connor groans deep in his chest and Desmond feels it as much as he hears it. He opens his eyes when Connor stills, buried as deep as he can get and waiting. He's breathing deep and evenly, eyes moving over Desmond's face intently as his hands run down his sides. Gripping and stroking the muscles of his thighs. "You good?"

"Yeah," Desmond says and drags his hands down Connor's back. Nails scratching lightly in a way that makes Connor jerk and hiss. His eyes shutting tight as he grinds in. It feels so very good now, but will feel better once Connor actually starts moving. "Come on, not gonna break."

Connor snorts but gets an arm under the leg he has braced on the floor, sliding it up until his knee is hooked over Connor's shoulder. It forces him to let got of Connor's back, but shifts the angle of his body enough that Desmond can really feel it when he pulls out.

"Oh, yeah," Desmond breathes out, trying to meet Connor as he sets a steady pace. He throws his arms out and pushes against the floor to move himself until the next thrust in rubs past his prostrate. "Yeah, right there. Come on and give it to me right there!"

Connor moans and picks up the pace. Holding Desmond steady as he loses control of his mouth. Connor's quiet, nearly speechless, but Desmond more than makes up for that when they really get going. He barely pays attention to the words leaving his mouth anymore, but Connor loves hearing it so Desmond doesn't even try to stop himself anymore.

Desmond reaches down to grip his dick and pull in time with Connor's thrusts. Pleasure slide through him as Connor's thrusts turn hard and fast. His moans filling Desmond's ears as he presses sloppy kisses to his neck and ears. Brushing Desmond's prostrate every other thrust and slowly taking away every other thought away except to get off quickly. Desmond comes with one last thrust and a twist just under the head of his dick, and arches up sharply.

"Ah fuck!" Desmond shouts and it curls right through him. Orgasm tearing through him as Connor makes an almost pained noise above him. Pressing in hard, thrusts getting shallow and sharp in a way that drags what feels like Desmond's entire brain out of him. Until he's a wrung out wreck of a man.

Connor goes still and groans again. Desmond brings his arms up, a bit unsteady, and holds onto him to feel the last shudders go through him as he comes. He winces a bit as Connor pulls his leg down. The muscle is a little stiff and Connor rubs one hand into it a bit before he carefully pulls out and rolls to the side to collapse.

"Fuck," Desmond says and he's grinning. It's a stupid grin that he can't ever seem to stop after really good sex. Connor seems to like it, so he doesn't have much incentive to try getting rid of it. "You just get back? You should've texted me you ass."

"Hm, my phone's dead," Connor is still running his hands over Desmond. Running his fingers through the mess of come on his stomach and rubbing it into his skin with an almost extreme focus. Desmond wonders how many other condoms the man has in his jeans, and how many he's planning on using today. The thought makes him wish their room wasn't actually in the house, because a bed is Desmond's next goal in life. The barn loft is starting to hurt his back. "The old man kept me up at the house for a bit, but yeah, we just got back."

Desmond wants to get back to the house, get a shower, maybe something to eat too, but Connor doesn't move and Desmond is content to lay there for a little while longer. Just reveling in the feel of his hands wandering and the occasional kiss.

Re: [Fill] Summer Work, Connor/Desmond

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-02 01:05 (UTC) - Expand


(Anonymous) 2014-06-30 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
SecretAgentMan!OP here, I've been scouring this kinkmeme and reading lots... came upon this thread with make your own drabble!

I made my own, make your own too! THIS IS TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE!


(Anonymous) 2014-06-30 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
SecretAgentMan!OP here again, here's my drabble!


Robert and Altair
by William Shakespeare

Enter Robert

Altair appears above at a window

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the Steak, and Altair is the Eagle.
Arise, Horrible Eagle, and Sing the Slick Stone.
See, how he leans his Leg upon his Mouth!
O, that I were a glove upon that Mouth,
That I might touch that Leg!

O Robert, Robert! wherefore art thou Robert?
What's in a name? That which we call a Arm
By any other name would smell as Morbid
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "Like a wide eyed novice"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove Haughty.

Swain, by yonder Slick Stone I swear
That tips In a bed the Beautiful River--

O, swear not by the Stone, the Delicious Stone,
That Huskily changes in its Shining orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise Shining.
Sweet, Hot night! A thousand times Hot night!
Parting is such Dangerous sorrow,
That I shall say Hot night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Sleep dwell upon thy Leg, peace in thy Mouth!
Would I were sleep and peace, so Cleverly to rest!
Sexily will I to my Horrible Arm's cell,
Its help to Sing, and my Morbid Arm to tell.


(Anonymous) - 2014-07-01 07:53 (UTC) - Expand


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Re: CRACKTASTIC (one more)

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Re: CRACKTASTIC (Two for One!)

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-03 04:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: CRACKTASTIC (Two for One!)

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(Anonymous) 2014-07-02 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
Holy shit anon, this is gold!

~_~_~_~_~The Battle For The Branch~_~_~_~_~_~

On a bed, Altair Sucked his Branch. He had been busy with the Branch for hours and now wanted nothing more than a Hard cuddle or a Slick massage from his lover Malik.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his Sticky Malik appeared at the door, grinning Gladly.

"Put down the Branch," Malik said Sexily. "Unless you want me to Suck that Branch on your Leg."

Altair put down the Branch. He was Sexily. He had never seen Malik so Smooth before and it made him Rough.

Malik picked up the Branch, then withdrew a Stick from his Arm. "Don't be so Sexily," Malik said with a Smooth grimace. "A Eagle bit my Cock this morning, and everything became Wet. Now with this Branch and this Stick I can Sexily rule the world!"

Altair clutched his Gigantic Cock Huskily. This was his lover, his Sticky Malik, now staring at him with a Smooth Arm.

"Fight it!" Altair shouted. "The Eagle just wants the Branch for his own Sticky devices! He doesn't love you, not the Hard way I do!"

Altair could see Malik trembling Huskily. Altair reached out his Leg and touched Malik's Arm Sexily. He was Sticky, so Sticky, but he knew only his Gigantic love for Malik would break the Eagle's spell.

Sure enough, Malik dropped the Branch with a thunk. "Oh, Altair," he squealed. "I'm so Hard, can you ever forgive me?"

But Altair had already moved on a bed. Like the sound of one hand clapping, he pressed his Leg into Malik's Arm. And as they fell together in a Wet fit of love, the Branch lay on the floor, Rough and forgotten.

REPOST: Ezio's pretty popular. Right?

(Anonymous) 2014-07-02 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
And with being popular comes rumors.

So on a visit to Leonardo, Ezio grumbles about dem rumors. Leo is amused and exclaims he's heard Ezio's awful in the sack. Ezio is offended sets out to prove the rumors wrong. Naturally he seduces Leonardo and gives him the best fucking of his life.

Bonus points for Leonardo passing out afterwards from their glorious sexing.

TL;dr: Rumor has it Ezio's bad in bed. Leonardo is amused. Ezio is not. He proves the rumors wrong and blows the artist's mind in between the sheets.

Re: REPOST: Ezio's pretty popular. Right?

(Anonymous) 2014-07-04 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)

Ratonhnhake:ton/Kanen'to:kon fluff

(Anonymous) 2014-07-02 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd just really really like these two, sharing a romantic (or sexy) moment, in any way shape or form at any age really. I just need something light hearted, OP has been having a shocking time IRL and would like a bandaid in the form of her otp please ;w;

No preference for ages, AUs, any of that.

I know they're basically brothers in the village so I guess it could be considered psuedo incest if you go the canon-au route in which case I'd super appreciate it if you went easy on the angst please please please

Some inspiration maybe
- Sleepy morning kisses
- youngish Ratonhnhake:ton mercilessly teasing Kanen'to:kon and hurridly making up for it
- older teens having hot make outs and getting being busted by Haytham
- ToKW verse baras

Re: Ratonhnhake:ton/Kanen'to:kon fluff

(Anonymous) 2014-07-14 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
Hey OP, I actually wrote something very similar to this recently.

(It does have a little bit of angst, but it's bad timing angst, not pseudo-incest angst.)

Assassin!Haytham maybe?

(Anonymous) 2014-07-03 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
Saw a sketchy art of a possible Assassin!Haytham in Tumblr who dual wields swords (like his dad!). It'd be nice to see Haytham as an assassin and what changes would happen if he was.

Maybe it could be set around TOKW-verse cause Ziio did mention that Connor's father was from a 'Brotherhood' which might've meant Haytham was an assassin?

Aw, anon just wants to read some Assassin!Haytham...

Assassin Haytham + Templar Connor

(Anonymous) 2014-07-03 07:28 am (UTC)(link)
Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase give me a role reversal type fic where Haytham is and has always been an assassin and Connor is and has always been Templar.

I'd like to see them clash, especially with their strong beliefs and stubborn mindsets :))))))

Maybe Connor was picked up by the Templar boyband at some point? I haven't read the book and I don't know much about why Haytham became a Templar but let's pretend that never happened and he went to America anyway.

Some multiplayer shenanegains

(Anonymous) 2014-07-04 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
In the spirit of Independence day, let's have a little Assassin's Creed III!
I've been craving a little love for our sweet little multiplayer characters, but not necessarily smut. In my opinion, I'd like to see a long story exploring the relationships and personality of that character. (But hey you can put smut in that!)
Things I'd like to see more than anything else, but still optional:
Some Independent stuff.
The strained relationship between the Robber and The Lady Maverick, considering they're siblings, but TLM is a Templar and R is an Assassin.

The only thing I really don't want to see is PWP. Pairings are yours to pick (but some of the characters are already with another, you can decide to ignore that or not.) And so are the characters.
(And if anybody in PS3 is up for a game of Wolf pack or other, just ask and I'll give you my user name. C: )

Ezio owns this town and Ezio does as Ezio wants to

(Anonymous) 2014-07-05 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Everyone in Rome works for Ezio Auditore - either directly (being employed in one of the many shops that the master assassin owns) or indirectly (selling stuff to the shops owned by the master assassin or servicing people employed in said shops). If you are not, then you are usually with the kind of people that are on the stabby end of a pair of hidden blades, and should not hang around Rome for too long.

Ezio realises that this means he can do whatever the hell he wants, because everyone, including the soldiers, are in his employ in one way or the other.

He decides to demonstrate this by ravishing his lover (Leonardo? Sofia? Both?) in public and not have anyone make any kind of fuss about it. (This may also be due to the white-cowled people lining the rooftops and making little stabby motions if someone talks shit about their Maestro.)

Watching Over You

(Anonymous) 2014-07-05 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I saw this one picture in which Ezio and Altair, both elderly, are giving Ratonhnhake:ton, a child, a hidden blade, thereby passing on the Assassin legacy to him. I also read this fanfic in which Altair, as a ghost, uses the Apple to save Ratonhnhake:ton from Lee and the other members of the Inner Circle as well as help him save Ziio.

What I would like to see is Ratonhnake:ton being watched over by any or all of these three as ghosts: Ezio, Altair, and/or Edward (the last would make the most sense as he's Ratonhnhake:ton's grandfather). And Ratonhnake:ton sees them as well (perhaps through Eagle Vision, perhaps they allow themselves to be seen by him,maybe a mix of the two, or through some strange supernatural loophole?).

However it works, he's initially very confused that his friends and family can't see them. Perhaps, they tell him stories from their past lives. Perhaps they give him lessons on combat. Perhaps they play children's games with him. What I definitely would like to see is when Lee and the others attack Ratonhnake:ton and Altair/Ezio/Edward suddenly become solid temporarily, go all protective mode ("Get your filthy hands off my descendent!") and promptly kicks their asses.

Pretty, pretty, pretty please? With a cherry on top?

Re: Watching Over You

(Anonymous) 2014-07-05 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Dude, seconded!

Also, can I get a link to the fanfic where Altair saves Ratonhnhake:ton and Ziio? It sounds right up my alley!

Re: Watching Over You

(Anonymous) - 2014-07-06 06:42 (UTC) - Expand

Adé/Edward, Something Happy

(Anonymous) 2014-07-06 11:33 am (UTC)(link)
Christ, but AC4 is a depressing game. Especially having read the novel which makes it feel like Edward never even learned anything.

I did like the relationship between Edward and his second-in-command, though. Someone please give me a happy scene with Adé and Edward when they were still out on the sea together, just an evening or a day or something where they both felt like things were good. Smut not necessary, but always encouraged.

Adéwalé/Edward: Sleep Well (1/1)

(Anonymous) 2014-07-07 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
(Because of the strange places that Edward ends up napping in during cutscenes.)

The first time the crew found Edward sleeping in the crow’s nest, they thought he was dead. It was the particular way that one arm and one leg dangled over the side of the platform, limp and lifeless, and with no rum on board, why would anyone stretch out in such a spot?

Adéwalé was the first up the mast to check on his tyro captain. Edward stirred as he touched him, groping disinterestedly at air before his blue eyes opened and he turned to Adéwalé.

“Something wrong, mate?”

It would not be the last time Edward found a special place to nap.

What was most funny to Adéwalé was that when Edward ended up sleeping somewhere not made for that purpose and usually unsafe, he could be drunk, but that was incidental. He saw him napping in the rigging and on various yards, on tables (not just with his head), on rooftops, and, his favourite spots, in trees at varying heights. It was strange, but on second thought, not much stranger than that he usually went exploring small islands by flinging himself off the side of the ship into the ocean and swimming over, or that he took on whales half the size of the Jackdaw with spears in a rowboat, or that he’d drunkenly kissed Adéwalé on the mouth in his cabin one evening after a large haul before stabbing a dagger into his map on the island he next wanted to sail to and slumping with a blissful smile against the wall.

“Do you just not like ground under you when you sleep?” Adéwalé asked the captain one hot afternoon on yet another beautiful, empty little unnamed blot of earth, pulling at the captain’s boot as he found Edward, dozing in the sun, draped over a stooping palm tree like a jungle cat. “Are you a bird? A little jackdaw?”

“I would have said I’m more of an eagle,” Edward answered with a laugh, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, “but what’s good enough for my ship is good enough for me.”

The captain put his hand on Adéwalé’s shoulder and Adéwalé wrapped his arm around the other amn’s waist as he moved to get down from the palm tree. In truth, Edward needed no help, but lingering, frequent touches had become a theme of their camaraderie quite soon.

“A bed might be easier on your bones in the long run, Captain.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Adéwalé found himself back in his small chamber under deck when the sun was drowning in the sea, painting it red. He was just taking off his shirt, damp with the humid air and sweat, when his eyes fell on the niche in the wall where he’d piled his blankets to make a bed. Stretched out, his blond hair fanned out around his head like seaweed, Edward looked at him, eyes half closed.

“I should listen to your advice more often,” Edward said when Adéwalé climbed into bed with him, running his hand up under Edward’s shirt.

Re: Adéwalé/Edward: Sleep Well (1/1)

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Re: Adéwalé/Edward: Sleep Well (1/1)

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Re: Adéwalé/Edward: Sleep Well (1/1)

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